๐ All jokes ๐
Forums โบ General Discussion โบ ๐ All jokes ๐-
My neighbor Carl was constantly forgetting his wife's birthday.
The last one I could hear her yelling, "That's it you dumbass!
I better wake up tomorrow and have something nice in that driveway that goes 0 to 200 in 4 seconds!!"
Wow, I thought, poor Carl has to get a pretty fancy car.
I got up the next morning and saw a small box with a red bow sitting in his driveway.
I saw his wife run out and looked at it funny. She picked it up and opened it.
It was a brand new bathroom scale.
I miss Carlโฆ๐ฅฒ
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Let's liven up game and add jokes even if they stolen ( like mine ) ๐
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What do you call James Bond in the bath?
Bubble-0-7 -
Warning, COVID era joke, not safe for all ages. Man is walking around without a mask on and I ask him why he doesn't want to put one on and he says his nose is too big, and it isn't comfortable to wear! So I said, "well I still wear my underwear what's the big deal!" It's way better when told buy an 80 year old l
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Uglyladdie wrote:
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃWhat do you call James Bond in the bath?
Bubble-0-7 -
reeferjuana wrote:
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ poor guyWarning, COVID era joke, not safe for all ages. Man is walking around without a mask on and I ask him why he doesn't want to put one on and he says his nose is too big, and it isn't comfortable to wear! So I said, "well I still wear my underwear what's the big deal!" It's way better when told buy an 80 year old l
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Who are the two guys above the window? Kurt n Rod
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reeferjuana wrote:
๐คฃ๐คฃWho are the two guys above the window? Kurt n Rod
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Wife: Shall we try a different position tonight?
Husband: Excellent idea.
Wife: Ok, you stand at the sink, wash dishes and I will lie on the sofa and watch TV. ๐๐
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Jeffery Daumer was eating five guys before it was even a restaurant.
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What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna twoโฆ -
How do you make holy water?
Boil the hell out of it! -
โซท ๐ ๐๐๐ธ ๐ โซธ wrote:
Top tierMy neighbor Carl was constantly forgetting his wife's birthday.
The last one I could hear her yelling, "That's it you dumbass!
I better wake up tomorrow and have something nice in that driveway that goes 0 to 200 in 4 seconds!!"
Wow, I thought, poor Carl has to get a pretty fancy car.
I got up the next morning and saw a small box with a red bow sitting in his driveway.
I saw his wife run out and looked at it funny. She picked it up and opened it.
It was a brand new bathroom scale.
I miss Carlโฆ๐ฅฒ
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Uglyladdie wrote:
๐๐What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna twoโฆ -
Uglyladdie wrote:
I would have never guessed lol. Ty Laddie ๐What do you call James Bond in the bath?
Bubble-0-7 -
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.
Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate.
He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."
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I was walking down the street the other day and saw two kids beating up another kid. So I stepped in to help. Let me tell you he didnโt stand a chance against the 3 of us.
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แก3V wrote:
lol that's mean ๐I was walking down the street the other day and saw two kids beating up another kid. So I stepped in to help. Let me tell you he didnโt stand a chance against the 3 of us.
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Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
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What is the last thing given to Tickle Me Elmo dolls before they leave the factory?
Two test tickles
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AftyrLyfe wrote:
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐๐โซท ๐ ๐๐๐ธ ๐ โซธ wrote:
Top tierMy neighbor Carl was constantly forgetting his wife's birthday.
The last one I could hear her yelling, "That's it you dumbass!
I better wake up tomorrow and have something nice in that driveway that goes 0 to 200 in 4 seconds!!"
Wow, I thought, poor Carl has to get a pretty fancy car.
I got up the next morning and saw a small box with a red bow sitting in his driveway.
I saw his wife run out and looked at it funny. She picked it up and opened it.
It was a brand new bathroom scale.
I miss Carlโฆ๐ฅฒ
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ใโPersephoneโใ wrote:
Lol took me a secondDespite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
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AftyrLyfe wrote:
I'm still trying to figure it out ๐๐คฃใโPersephoneโใ wrote:
Lol took me a secondDespite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
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Chilling wrote:
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃWhat is the last thing given to Tickle Me Elmo dolls before they leave the factory?
Two test tickles
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ZRAYGO wrote:
๐คฃJeffery Daumer was eating five guys before it was even a restaurant.
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INTERNET WARNING:
If you receive an email titled
"Nude Photo of Ryan Reynolds"
DON'T OPIN IT!!
It is a virus wich deactivates
your spelcheck and ksrews up you keebord.
I also receibed it but lukily I dint opin it.Please worn you frends!
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Chilling wrote:
Chilling ๐What is the last thing given to Tickle Me Elmo dolls before they leave the factory?
Two test tickles
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โซท ๐ ๐๐๐ธ ๐ โซธ wrote:
Yup difanitlee dodntt opne it eihter ๐INTERNET WARNING:
If you receive an email titled
"Nude Photo of Ryan Reynolds"
DON'T OPIN IT!!
It is a virus wich deactivates
your spelcheck and ksrews up you keebord.
I also receibed it but lukily I dint opin it.Please worn you frends!
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Uglyladdie wrote:
๐คฃ๐คฃโซท ๐ ๐๐๐ธ ๐ โซธ wrote:
Yup difanitlee dodntt opne it eihter ๐INTERNET WARNING:
If you receive an email titled
"Nude Photo of Ryan Reynolds"
DON'T OPIN IT!!
It is a virus wich deactivates
your spelcheck and ksrews up you keebord.
I also receibed it but lukily I dint opin it.Please worn you frends!
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No one has Any jokes lately ?
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STOLEN.
911: What is your emergency?Husband: I'd like to report a missing wife.
911: What is her height?
Husband: I'm not sure.
911: Skinny or fat?
Husband: Depends on what she's wearing?
911: What was she wearing?
Husband: I'm not sure.
911: Color of eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
911: Color of hair?
Husband: It kind of changes with the seasons.
911: Was she driving?
Husband: Yes
911: Color of vehicle
Husband: Black 2020 F350 powerstroke diesel, 475 horsepower with 10-speed heavy-duty TorqShift automatic transmission. It has LED lights and a very small scratch on the rear door.
911: Don't worry sir, we will find your truck.
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