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• ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ Jan 4, 2025

  Uglyladdie wrote:

  The interviewer asks the candidate “why do you ask for such a high salary when you have no experience?”

  The candidate replies “well the job is harder when you don’t know what you’re doing”
  

  😂 very true
• Uglyladdie Jan 5, 2025

  ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ wrote:

  *Stolen* 😂
  My friend promised to take me to
  Donald Trump's inauguration if he was re-elected.

  When he ordered the tickets he didn't realize it was on the same day as his wedding.

  He just received the tickets in the mail today and is very upset.

  I told him not to worry that I'd help him find someone to take his place.

  So, if anyone is interested
  it's at the Baptist Church in Mesa, AZ at 5:00 pm. Her name is Lisa, she's a great cook and she'll be wearing a white dress.
  

  Lol 😂
• ᵐ📡ᵣ 𝓐𝓯𝓽𝔂𝓻🌐𝓛𝔂𝓯𝓮™ Jan 5, 2025

  Uglyladdie wrote:

  ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ wrote:

  *Stolen* 😂
  My friend promised to take me to
  Donald Trump's inauguration if he was re-elected.

  When he ordered the tickets he didn't realize it was on the same day as his wedding.

  He just received the tickets in the mail today and is very upset.

  I told him not to worry that I'd help him find someone to take his place.

  So, if anyone is interested
  it's at the Baptist Church in Mesa, AZ at 5:00 pm. Her name is Lisa, she's a great cook and she'll be wearing a white dress.
  

  Lol 😂

  🤣took me a couple times to get it
• ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ Jan 11, 2025

  I was in Home Depot using the restroom and just as I closed the stall door, a voice from the next stall said, "Hey! How are you? Embarrassed, I said, "I'm alright"
  The voice said, "So, what are you up to?" I said, "Just trying to take care of some private business over here!" Then I hear, "Can I come over?" I was like, "Hell no you can't come over." Then the voice said, "Listen, I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions."
• Uglyladdie Jan 11, 2025

  ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ wrote:

  I was in Home Depot using the restroom and just as I closed the stall door, a voice from the next stall said, "Hey! How are you? Embarrassed, I said, "I'm alright"
  The voice said, "So, what are you up to?" I said, "Just trying to take care of some private business over here!" Then I hear, "Can I come over?" I was like, "Hell no you can't come over." Then the voice said, "Listen, I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions."
  

  I’ve done this before 😳 just not in public thank god
• ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ Jan 11, 2025

  Uglyladdie wrote:

  ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ wrote:

  I was in Home Depot using the restroom and just as I closed the stall door, a voice from the next stall said, "Hey! How are you? Embarrassed, I said, "I'm alright"
  The voice said, "So, what are you up to?" I said, "Just trying to take care of some private business over here!" Then I hear, "Can I come over?" I was like, "Hell no you can't come over." Then the voice said, "Listen, I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions."
  

  I’ve done this before 😳 just not in public thank god

  that's hilarious 😆 🤣😅
• Uglyladdie Jan 11, 2025

  ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ wrote:

  Uglyladdie wrote:

  ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ wrote:

  I was in Home Depot using the restroom and just as I closed the stall door, a voice from the next stall said, "Hey! How are you? Embarrassed, I said, "I'm alright"
  The voice said, "So, what are you up to?" I said, "Just trying to take care of some private business over here!" Then I hear, "Can I come over?" I was like, "Hell no you can't come over." Then the voice said, "Listen, I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions."
  

  I’ve done this before 😳 just not in public thank god

  that's hilarious 😆 🤣😅

  It’s embarrassing 🙈 got teased for months
• ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ Jan 12, 2025

  Uglyladdie wrote:

  ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ wrote:

  Uglyladdie wrote:

  ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ wrote:

  I was in Home Depot using the restroom and just as I closed the stall door, a voice from the next stall said, "Hey! How are you? Embarrassed, I said, "I'm alright"
  The voice said, "So, what are you up to?" I said, "Just trying to take care of some private business over here!" Then I hear, "Can I come over?" I was like, "Hell no you can't come over." Then the voice said, "Listen, I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions."
  

  I’ve done this before 😳 just not in public thank god

  that's hilarious 😆 🤣😅

  It’s embarrassing 🙈 got teased for months

  😂 I can imagine lol
• Uglyladdie Jan 21, 2025

  Interviewer: what’s your name?
  Me: hired
  Interviewer: you’re hired?
  Me: thanks sir
• ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ Jan 23, 2025

  Uglyladdie wrote:

  Interviewer: what’s your name?
  Me: hired
  Interviewer: you’re hired?
  Me: thanks sir
  

  😂😂😂 that's awesome !
• 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝕷𝖊𝖊 Jan 24, 2025

  (WARNING: Possible cultural stereotypes ahead).

  3 Asian guys die. Instead of going to Buddhaland, they go to the gates of heaven and meet Saint Peter.

  Saint Peter says: OK. To pass these gates, just tell me the meaning of Easter. Otherwise… I’m sorry, you have to go to hell.

  1st guy: Easta? This is children. Knock on door. Wearing mask. Receive many candies?

  Peter: So sorry. You’re going to hell. (Zap. He’s gone.) Next?

  2nd guy: Easta? Is American family. Sitting at table. Eating big turkey bird?

  Peter: Nope. Babye!
  Sir. Can you please pass this test? I really want to send you through those gates.

  3rd guy: Easta? Jesus Christ. He die on cross. They put him in cave. Three day later… he come out. If no see shadow… he go back into cave.
• ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ Jan 28, 2025

  𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝕷𝖊𝖊 wrote:

  (WARNING: Possible cultural stereotypes ahead).

  3 Asian guys die. Instead of going to Buddhaland, they go to the gates of heaven and meet Saint Peter.

  Saint Peter says: OK. To pass these gates, just tell me the meaning of Easter. Otherwise… I’m sorry, you have to go to hell.

  1st guy: Easta? This is children. Knock on door. Wearing mask. Receive many candies?

  Peter: So sorry. You’re going to hell. (Zap. He’s gone.) Next?

  2nd guy: Easta? Is American family. Sitting at table. Eating big turkey bird?

  Peter: Nope. Babye!
  Sir. Can you please pass this test? I really want to send you through those gates.

  3rd guy: Easta? Jesus Christ. He die on cross. They put him in cave. Three day later… he come out. If no see shadow… he go back into cave.
  

  🤣😂
• Uglyladdie Jan 28, 2025

  𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝕷𝖊𝖊 wrote:

  (WARNING: Possible cultural stereotypes ahead).

  3 Asian guys die. Instead of going to Buddhaland, they go to the gates of heaven and meet Saint Peter.

  Saint Peter says: OK. To pass these gates, just tell me the meaning of Easter. Otherwise… I’m sorry, you have to go to hell.

  1st guy: Easta? This is children. Knock on door. Wearing mask. Receive many candies?

  Peter: So sorry. You’re going to hell. (Zap. He’s gone.) Next?

  2nd guy: Easta? Is American family. Sitting at table. Eating big turkey bird?

  Peter: Nope. Babye!
  Sir. Can you please pass this test? I really want to send you through those gates.

  3rd guy: Easta? Jesus Christ. He die on cross. They put him in cave. Three day later… he come out. If no see shadow… he go back into cave.
  

  I don’t get it
• Uglyladdie Jan 28, 2025

  A cavan man and a cork man were eating dinner together and as they leave the Cavan man pays for the meal and walks out, the cork man pays and walks after him. “Are you not going to tip?” He says to the cavan man. “I’ve no money with me, you pay the tip and I’ll pay you later” so the cork man goes back inside to pay the tip. Later when they’re driving home the cavan man asks “did you tip the waiter for me?” “I did yeah” says the cork man “twenty from me and a euro from you”
  “Why?” Asks the Cavan man
  “Because if you gave him nothing you could have forgotten, but now he knows you’re a miserable bastard” 😂
• O’Malia Jan 29, 2025

  What do you call a blind German?

  A not-see
• 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝕷𝖊𝖊 Jan 30, 2025

  Uglyladdie wrote:

  𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝕷𝖊𝖊 wrote:

  (WARNING: Possible cultural stereotypes ahead).

  3 Asian guys die. Instead of going to Buddhaland, they go to the gates of heaven and meet Saint Peter.

  Saint Peter says: OK. To pass these gates, just tell me the meaning of Easter. Otherwise… I’m sorry, you have to go to hell.

  1st guy: Easta? This is children. Knock on door. Wearing mask. Receive many candies?

  Peter: So sorry. You’re going to hell. (Zap. He’s gone.) Next?

  2nd guy: Easta? Is American family. Sitting at table. Eating big turkey bird?

  Peter: Nope. Babye!
  Sir. Can you please pass this test? I really want to send you through those gates.

  3rd guy: Easta? Jesus Christ. He die on cross. They put him in cave. Three day later… he come out. If no see shadow… he go back into cave.
  

  I don’t get it

  Ground Hog Day :)
• Uglyladdie Jan 30, 2025

  𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝕷𝖊𝖊 wrote:

  Uglyladdie wrote:

  𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝕷𝖊𝖊 wrote:

  (WARNING: Possible cultural stereotypes ahead).

  3 Asian guys die. Instead of going to Buddhaland, they go to the gates of heaven and meet Saint Peter.

  Saint Peter says: OK. To pass these gates, just tell me the meaning of Easter. Otherwise… I’m sorry, you have to go to hell.

  1st guy: Easta? This is children. Knock on door. Wearing mask. Receive many candies?

  Peter: So sorry. You’re going to hell. (Zap. He’s gone.) Next?

  2nd guy: Easta? Is American family. Sitting at table. Eating big turkey bird?

  Peter: Nope. Babye!want to send you through those gates.

  3rd guy: Easta? Jesus later… he come out. If no see shadow… he go back into cave.
  

  I don’t get it

  Ground Hog Day :)

  Mb lol 😂
• ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ Jan 31, 2025

  * stolen from someone else*🙈
  I was out fishing the other day and sitting in my boat when I heard a voice say, “Pick me up.”

  I looked around and couldn't see anyone.

  I thought I was dreaming when I heard the voice say again, ''Pick me up.”

  I looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

  I said, “Are you talking to me?”

  The frog said, “Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me, and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!”

  I looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in my shirt pocket.

  The frog said, “What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?”
  I said, “Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.”

  I opened my pocket, looked at the frog and said,

  “Nah, I'd rather have a talking frog, than a nagging wife."
• 🇬🇧👊🏻K🍺A👊🏻🇬🇧 Jan 31, 2025

  What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full up.
• ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ Jan 31, 2025

  🇬🇧👊🏻K🍺A👊🏻🇬🇧 wrote:

  What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full up.
  

  🙈 took me a bit lol 😂
• Uglyladdie Jan 31, 2025

  ⫷ 🎀 𝕂𝕟𝔸 🎀 ⫸ wrote:

  * stolen from someone else*🙈
  I was out fishing the other day and sitting in my boat when I heard a voice say, “Pick me up.”

  I looked around and couldn't see anyone.

  I thought I was dreaming when I heard the voice say again, ''Pick me up.”

  I looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

  I said, “Are you talking to me?”

  The frog said, “Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me, and I'll turn into the envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!”

  I looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in my shirt pocket.

  The frog said, “What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?”
  I said, “Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.”

  I opened my pocket, looked at the frog and said,

  “Nah, I'd rather have a talking frog, than a nagging wife."
  

  Lol

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