๐ All jokes ๐
Forums โบ General Discussion โบ ๐ All jokes ๐-
Damn. Getting old. lol. Hereโs a replacement:
โMale Bees die after making love.
Itโs basically Honey, Nut, Cheerio!โ -
โ๐ฅGroucho๐ฅโ wrote:
๐๐๐๐๐๐Damn. Getting old. lol. Hereโs a replacement:
โMale Bees die after making love.
Itโs basically Honey, Nut, Cheerio!โ -
A man went into a dealership to buy a car.
He asks the salesman โcargo space?โThe salesman replied โcar no do that, car go roadโ
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Bump
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I buy my girlfriend flower every week because I really fancy the girl
At the florists
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Uglyladdie wrote:
girlfriend
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When I was a kid, my sister would bury her cash under the bushes along the edge of our property. She now manages a large hedge fund.
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BigAl! wrote:
LolWhen I was a kid, my sister would bury her cash under the bushes along the edge of our property. She now manages a large hedge fund.
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Bump
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Laddie to save the chat ... ty
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Uglyladdie wrote:
Lol ๐BigAl! wrote:
LolWhen I was a kid, my sister would bury her cash under the bushes along the edge of our property. She now manages a large hedge fund.
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Stolen. . . ( as always ) ๐
One day a young boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window."Iโll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car," said the driver.
"No way! Get lost!" replied the boy.
"How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" the driver asked.
"I said no way," replied the boy.
"What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?" asked the driver.
"No, Iโm not getting in the car," answered the boy.
"Okay, Iโll give you a bag of M&Ms and 100 dollars," the driver offered.
"No!" replied the boy.
"What will it take to get you in the car?" asked the driver.
The boy replied, "Listen, Dad, you bought the electric vehicle, you live with it!โ
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Uglyladdie wrote:
LolA man went into a dealership to buy a car.
He asks the salesman โcargo space?โThe salesman replied โcar no do that, car go roadโ
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รโMรค๐HรกRยฎ๏ธIล๐๐ wrote:
lmfao ๐๐๐Uglyladdie wrote:
LolA man went into a dealership to buy a car.
He asks the salesman โcargo space?โThe salesman replied โcar no do that, car go roadโ
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Three weeks before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very luxury hotel.
When the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor.
Which one picked it up?
Santa Clause of course, because the other two donโt exist!
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โซท ๐ ๐๐๐ธ ๐ โซธ wrote:
๐๐๐๐Three weeks before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very luxury hotel.
When the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor.
Which one picked it up?
Santa Clause of course, because the other two donโt exist!
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Uglyladdie wrote:
I picked that one for you since I know you still believe ๐ค๐ jkjkโซท ๐ ๐๐๐ธ ๐ โซธ wrote:
๐๐๐๐Three weeks before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very luxury hotel.
When the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor.
Which one picked it up?
Santa Clause of course, because the other two donโt exist!
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โซท ๐ ๐๐๐ธ ๐ โซธ wrote:
Santas more believable than the others lol ๐ good to see this getting some attention. Iโll go find some more bad jokes over the next day or soUglyladdie wrote:
I picked that one for you since I know you still believe ๐ค๐ jkjkโซท ๐ ๐๐๐ธ ๐ โซธ wrote:
๐๐๐๐Three weeks before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very luxury hotel.
When the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor.
Which one picked it up?
Santa Clause of course, because the other two donโt exist!
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A brunette went to a doctor's office and said that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," said the doctor.
"Show me."
She took her finger, pressed on her elbow, and screamed in agony.
She then touched her knee and let out a scream.
Everywhere she touched, it made her scream in horrible pain.
The doctor said, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She said, "No, I dyed my hair.
I'm naturally blonde.""I thought so," he said.
"Your finger is broken."
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โซท ๐ ๐๐๐ธ ๐ โซธ wrote:
Okay im taking that one hahaA brunette went to a doctor's office and said that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," said the doctor.
"Show me."
She took her finger, pressed on her elbow, and screamed in agony.
She then touched her knee and let out a scream.
Everywhere she touched, it made her scream in horrible pain.
The doctor said, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She said, "No, I dyed my hair.
I'm naturally blonde.""I thought so," he said.
"Your finger is broken."
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Just to let you know, I wasn't allowed to say anything until today, but now I can share that I have volunteered for the new bird- flu vaccine from Pfizer developed in Russia.
It is in six different stages and I received my first dose just yesterday at 06:20 am.
I wanted to let you know that it is safe, and I'm okay with ะธo side effects whatsoeveั,
and that I feelski fin. ะฟะพะบะฐะถะตั ะผะพั ะธ ััะฒััะฒัั ัะตะฑั ั ะพัะพัะพ ัะฐะบ. Comrade -
โซท ๐ ๐๐๐ธ ๐ โซธ wrote:
๐๐A brunette went to a doctor's office and said that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," said the doctor.
"Show me."
She took her finger, pressed on her elbow, and screamed in agony.
She then touched her knee and let out a scream.
Everywhere she touched, it made her scream in horrible pain.
The doctor said, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She said, "No, I dyed my hair.
I'm naturally blonde.""I thought so," he said.
"Your finger is broken."
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โAn old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.โ -
แนฉาษชษฒษณืฅ โฌโษชรงาุนโฆ wrote:
Lol ๐โAn old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.โ -
English, Irish and a Scotsman stuck in the Sahara desert. God says to them you are allowed a never ending supply of one thing to keep you going.....
English man says..... water.
Scotsman says.....whiskey.
Irish man says... a car door.When God asks him why he wants a car door he replies.....if it gets hot I can wind the window down
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แนฉาษชษฒษณืฅ โฌโษชรงาุนโฆ wrote:
๐๐๐๐โAn old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.โ -
DC ONE wrote:
๐๐๐๐๐English, Irish and a Scotsman stuck in the Sahara desert. God says to them you are allowed a never ending supply of one thing to keep you going.....
English man says..... water.
Scotsman says.....whiskey.
Irish man says... a car door.When God asks him why he wants a car door he replies.....if it gets hot I can wind the window down
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how did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
his right hand caught fire
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The interviewer asks the candidate โwhy do you ask for such a high salary when you have no experience?โ
The candidate replies โwell the job is harder when you donโt know what youโre doingโ
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*Stolen* ๐
My friend promised to take me to
Donald Trump's inauguration if he was re-elected.When he ordered the tickets he didn't realize it was on the same day as his wedding.
He just received the tickets in the mail today and is very upset.
I told him not to worry that I'd help him find someone to take his place.
So, if anyone is interested
it's at the Baptist Church in Mesa, AZ at 5:00 pm. Her name is Lisa, she's a great cook and she'll be wearing a white dress.
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