⚡The magical mind of Badbean⚡
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I have found out that my thought processes amuse people when I talk them out. So I am going to keep a TW diary ish type thing that may entertain y'all, enjoy.
Tuesday, March 20th- On the drive to school today I saw a flamingo partying in a retention pond. I don't know why it stopped here if I were a flamingo I'd work my way down to brazil, I would also freak people out by attacking people viewing me. They'd be like "Aww look at the flamingo" and I'd be like "bitch hop off my jock" but I'd be a flamingo so it'd be like squak flap flap squakity squit.
I've been pondering my positioning in the parking lot, I usually park in the back but I've been thinking that I might get keyed or jacked. Being as I don't want this to happen I should park near the front but I'm too lazy to get to school early, and then I'd have to walk around the idiots loafing around before class instead of walking to class. -
In physics today, we attained a new girl in our class, I tried to listen to her story but I was more focused on other things. I didn't learn much about physics today.
Fuck fuck fuck, I need to hurry up, why did I go to the bathroom, and speaking of which that begs the question why are bathroom floors always wet with a mystery liquid? I mean it's not water that much I know, it's too slippery. Do the bowling kids oil down the floor and practice there before school because it's literally never dry in there. That reminds me of that story where a green ooze went out of the wall. It had sucky graphics but the story was interesting... Was that the bell? Damnit. Now I'm going to have to walk back to the attendance room which is 5 minutes away get a pass walk another 5 minutes back and in the process miss the first part of class. Geniuses must run this schoo -
In another class today we discussed the logistics of being stuck in the room all year. The topic fell to cannibalism, for we had no food, and I asked the question if there were any vegetarians here. 2 girls raised there hands and I told them if it came down to it we would eat them first. I then hatched a brilliant plan to impregnate the other 20 girls in the class in a staggered fashion so we'd have a steady stream of meat flowing(there's five guys including me so we privately choose our 4 each). This was an entertaining class.
Why is the fire alarm in the worst tone possible? I feel like my head is hitting its natural frequency when they ring. It's practically ear-splitting. I mean a better fire alarm would just be a recording of samuel L Jackson yelling at you to leave the building "English muthafucker do you hear it?" -
Magical demented ruminating non-filtered cold gruel seepings!
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👶👈NOM NOM NOM
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It was raining most of today which may have sparked my previous thought about parking near the front. But oddly enough the rain switched from being a light drizzle to 18inch droplets pouring from the sky while I was walking to my vehicle. At times like these I feel like a monkey in a cage and mother nature is slowly poking me with a stick.
Watching TV I noticed something. Talking alone without sound is rare. I mean you never notice but in every program and movie you hear music in the background. Is it supposed to manipulate your opinion? Would the dialogue still be sad without the instrumental to my heart will go on? I doubt it. TV bigwigs are manipulating my feelings and I won't have it. I'm writing a letter! -
Interesting. My thought process today was : sooooo fuckkkkkinggggggg tirrrredddddd
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Gave up on writing a letter, my inconceivable laziness is outweighing my outrage. I must begin to change that...someday.
Why do we need to know seconds? My clock in my room displays seconds and I feel this is unnessecary. What could I possibly be doing that would require me to know its 9:55:36. Running a damn marathon, I think not it's night, and I refuse to run at night, swamp monsters could get me and I can't accept that. Plus I'd have to run into my room to glance at the seconds which would shave vital seconds off my time. I need a watch, but I don't want a douchey gold watch. And I hate those people who have sport watches and clearly don't need them. Yeah I bet you swim and need a water proof watch; you're obviously running miles everyday, I bet the only time you use the stopwatch function is to see how long it takes you to scarf down a piece of fried chicken. It takes effort to be that out of shape. -
Wednesday, March 21st-
Awoke at 5:45 this morning and fell back asleep, dreamt I was dueling a clown to the death with silverware while riding a goat. I don't know what a dream therapist would say about this but I'm sure it wouldn't be good.
Why do some people feel the need to honk at 7:30 in the morning? I get it we are all tired and pissed off and trying to get where we are going just shut up and deal with the traffic. Also, why on Earth would you be blasting base in the morning? Who wakes up to 🎵Big Booty Bitches🎵? Not me. I listen to talk shows.
During spanish I wondered what it would be like to spy on a large class from behind. Like be a fly on the wall and can hear everything. I swear I could sell some stories I overhear in this class. Large classes are nice. In a large class you can talk to whom you like. In small classes there is no privacy. -
Ps these are all real thoughts and conversations I had. I'm a tad odd.
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I'm digging this. Ur warped bro!
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Very entertaining. Know this: everyone has their own special kind of crazy.👍
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Can I subscribe to this? And how old are you? It scares me cuz your thought process reminds me of Medela back in high school?
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You have a lot of interesting thoughts just as i do its cool man
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Girls are the ducks of society they do all kinds of things to get your attention but when you get close they attack. Ducks are bitches. Told this to girl friend, she hit me. Why can't girls take a joke, better yet why do girls resort to violence so quickly. I swear if I hit a girl at the drop of the hat like my girls and sis does, I would be getting raped by a 6' 1" gangster who shot a guy. There is no justice.
I swear everytime I walk by a tree I hear those crickets. There's enough of them that they make a rattling noise. because I'm in Texas I've been taught that when you hear rattling you drop shit look around and run, I'm alarmed every time I hear the damn crickets. I about pushed a kid off a skateboard the first time I heard them when I was ten. That reminds me if that picture where there's 100 snakes in that tree. That photographer had some bawls. There was black mambas in that tree. If those got you, you'd be dead in like 15 minutes. And you can tell he is hours away from any appropriate medical center -
MOAR!!!!!
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As a side note, I have a British friend who calls the parking lot a car park. Why the hell would you call it that. There is nothing fun about a parking lot. When you say car park I picture the stupid cars from the chevron commercials living it up at a carnival.
Also, why do northerners not say y'all. You guys just sounds dumb. "Hey you guys" just sounds like your in a 90s television show. Speaking of 90s shows Boy Meets World was da shit when I was young. That one hoes name was Tapanga. What director made that decision. Yeah we're gonna have a main character whose name is so original it sounds like it was invented up by a director, genius. -
I'm fucking scared of escalators. I don't trust anything that looks similar to teeth and I can't get off of quickly. It just reminds me of the fish that has a light on its head to lure prey. We are standing on a giant fishes mouth and it's just waiting. Those two story escalators are trippy. I read an article about one that malfunction that killed like 20 people and mauled another 50. That fish got pissed off. Remember the kid in the Jay and silent bob movie who had the untied shoes riding the escalator. That's what I think of.
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Btw the bad grammar and spelling is because I'm typing rather fast and not proof reading also sometimes I have to cut some meat to get the story in. I refuse to cut vowels, that is stupid. Oh I'm cool because I need no vowels! Fuck you, at least make a proper attempt at having appropriate grammar and spelling, we are not on Twatter🐤.
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No, this is not twitter, but if you made a blog I would subscribe. Twitter couldn't contain this level of awesome.
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Hilarious! The most interesting thread I've seen in a while!
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Narcisistic thought #1- I always thought what if the universe is only an extremely intricate creation of my mind. What if when I turn my head the area I can't see goes into blackness, and when I look back it reappears in the necessary position it would've been if I had been looking. Sounds are projected constantly because you can always hear something you can't see but when I'm out of earshot everything is dark and silent waiting for the time that I may walk upon it again and it can return into its existence. The main question you could ask someone if you have that thought is ask your friend or somebody if they go home and have a life when you are not there, but my brain would tell them to say a story of their life. You would never know if the earth and universe were centered around you or that you were in a coma. It's like a schrodingers cat idea. You people must simultaneously exist and not exist at the same time.
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How does that feel? Well, maybe I already know because technically if you people exist and not exist at the same time the existing part of you would cause the same thing to happen to me. Every one and everything is to a person existent and nonexistent at the same time.
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I usually just think 'duhhh, I like bowling'
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More!!!!!
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I had the best damn Idea today. On the way to an event me and my friends were talking about some odd shit when we passed a JumpnJungle, which is basicly a building filled with air filled sacs and castles you can hop on. I thought why the hell does fun have to stop at adulthood. You can't go to chuckie cheese after 18(unless you kidnap a child which I considered) and everything else fun except for amusement parks you outgrow. Slides suck because you are entirely too big. And everything else is way too small. So I thought, we need adult sized parks. I mean 40 ft air slides. Man sized monkey bars. A merry go round that is huge(Ohh the amusement from watching grown men get tossed off it). And everything else that is fun as a child and more. I figure this solves two problems with one punch👊.
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If grown people can let their animal spirit out on the playground, they may become less depressed. Also the activity encourages muscle growth and weight loss. Think two leading causes of death in America being slowly solved one awesome playground at a time. I'm a genius(narcissism again sorry).
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😂 👍
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And now as a musical variation we have a classical music expressed in curse words:
Fuck shitty fuck shitty fuck fuck fuck
Shitty fuck shitty fuck shitty fuck fuck fuck
Fuck shitty fuck shitty fuck fuck fuck
Asssss titty dump dump dump
And who could forget:Oh oh my goooodddd
My my ballllsss hurrrrrtttttThis has been a musical selection straight from the mind of Badbean.
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Start a blog brotha 😝
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Good shit bean. Glad to see there's others that are as demented as myself. 👍
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