⚡The magical mind of Badbean⚡
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Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah, Charlie brown's parents sounded like they were coming off of meth. That girl with the football is a douche and if I were Charlie I would "accidentally" kick her in the face. And why are they hating on the kid with the blanket? If it makes him feel better let it be. Which reminds me of the song I used to sing in the car if I needed to go to the restroom. 🎵Let me pee, let me pee, let me pee, let me pee, my bladder has it's wisdom, let me pee🎵
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👊࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈👊 wrote:
😂 That's my new favorite song 😂Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah, Charlie brown's parents sounded like they were coming off of meth. That girl with the football is a douche and if I were Charlie I would "accidentally" kick her in the face. And why are they hating on the kid with the blanket? If it makes him feel better let it be. Which reminds me of the song I used to sing in the car if I needed to go to the restroom. 🎵Let me pee, let me pee, let me pee, let me pee, my bladder has it's wisdom, let me pee🎵
LOL-FRTT
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Keep up the good work Bad Bean.
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👊࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈👊 wrote:
How does that feel? Well, maybe I already know because technically if you people exist and not exist at the same time the existing part of you would cause the same thing to happen to me. Every one and everything is to a person existent and nonexistent at the same time.
deep, very deep!! Love it all though
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Itd be awesome if you could turn gravity off for a day. I mean as long as you don't go outside and float away your fine. Think you could have bits of string leading from one building to another to get around. Wait, wait. Think of going to the restroom while zero gravity. It's be like being a rocketship blasting off. Maybe that's how the strange liquid gets on the bathroom floor. Gnomes turn off the gravity in the bathroom and play rocketship every morning. This idea has merit. Gnomes are pretty cool, I'd be a gnome. They wake up in the morning thinking of ways to piss people off. Then, they steal peoples left shoe only and laugh as we humans fumble around looking for the other shoe, eventually cursing at our pets for eating it. Gnomes are very successful trolls. I'm not talking about the creepy lawn gnomes, I'm talking about the real live underground ones. I think they are just dwarves exposed to mercury poisoning.
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I hope you're taking your Ritalin.
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On the topic of Ritalin, I think it's over prescribed. Ritalin and all the other drugs are turning a group of normal individuals into a group of unconscience zombies. That's why it is perfect for my plans for phase 2 of taking over the world. I will put Rotalin in the drinking water of all schools and turn them against their teachers, buhahaha. That reminds me of The Children of the Corn, I wish I was an insane cult leader. The best thing about being an insane cult leader is the ability to justify anything you do. I could punch all the babies in my compound and the parents couldn't do anything cuz its justified through the God I created. That God would be awesome. He'd be a bacon and mint choclate distributing god. Yeah, it'd be fun.
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You are the singularly most funny person I have ever met/read.
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My tea tastes of coffee; I personally hate coffee but love tea even though they're are rather similar. They must have brewed the two in the same pot. I don't know how I feel about this. I wouldn't go as far to say I feel dirty but it's odd. Did you hear about that coffee that's crapped out by a monkey is selled for 3 times the price. That's awesome, if I ate raw corn crapped it out and attempted to sell it I'd be arrested. But those monkeys are making their owners their weight in gold. And scientists and coffee experts have proven there is no difference in the taste, that's expert marketing right there. Don't listen to the scientists or coffee experts, listen to me, I'm the one with the monkey that's quite literally craps gold. Moral of the story, in the end the monkey actually shat gold.(Clash of Kings reference)
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I would like to thank myself for being awesome(if your counting this is narcissism thread 3). I really am the best. Why should I be jealous of anyone else, haha I make myself laugh. I'm kidding I hate those type of people who are all over their own jock. I have flaws and I know it(they are just really small(remember this is a Narcissim post)). Seriously people who love themselves too much need to look into a lake and die by strangulation from their own reflection. What do you have to be proud of? You peaked/ are peaking in high school and are going to be a laborer for the rest of your life. In all honesty killing you should be considered a mercy kill because the next 60 years are going to be miserable for you. But I'm not that kind, and neither is the world. Have fun!
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I'm creating the Samuel L Jackson alarm clock app for iTunes. I need to call him up and see if he'd consent. I could use some software to edit his famous lines. Look for the ever exciting:
"there's too much murthafucking sleep in this murthafucking bed"
"time muthafucka can you read it"
"...and I shall strike down those who do not wake up, and you will know my name is God."
"yeah, Zeus, as in father of Apollo, Mt. Olympus, if you don't wake up, I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass"
And many,many, more.
That shall be another of my patented ideas. -
👊࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈👊 wrote:
I seriously would buy that.I'm creating the Samuel L Jackson alarm clock app for iTunes. I need to call him up and see if he'd consent. I could use some software to edit his famous lines. Look for the ever exciting:
"there's too much murthafucking sleep in this murthafucking bed"
"time muthafucka can you read it"
"...and I shall strike down those who do not wake up, and you will know my name is God."
"yeah, Zeus, as in father of Apollo, Mt. Olympus, if you don't wake up, I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass"
And many,many, more.
That shall be another of my patented ideas. -
I wish I could fly, flying would be awesome. I'd be in the middle of yard work sweating, and I'd be like "screw this" and I'd fly away. I'd hope I didn't get in the way of a plane though, I'd be like a large fly on their windshield. Then the pilots couldn't see and the plane would crash. I'd be personally responsible for 200 lives plus my own. I guess it wouldn't matter though. If the pilots tried to explain to air traffic control that they just hit a flying person, the guy would think they were on drugs and attribute the crash to having two crackheads for pilots. And id be dead so I wouldn't have to think about the fact I killed the people.
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It's actually a self solving problem except for the fact that I'm still dead. I bet superman had to deal with this a couple of times. He'd be chilling out flying to Moscow or some place and blam! He'd wake up from being knocked out with 200 dead bodies and plane parts around him. Try explaining that to the mayor or president. It wouldn't be easy. More than likely he'd be pinned for it and superman would have to go rogue. Not the Sarah Palin, "I do what I want" type of rogue. No, I mean the type of rogue where you still do good but the government tries to kill you. I just got a picture of hipster superman in my head. It's odd.
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Okay so I'm getting my haircut and three interesting things happen:
1. I'm getting my haircut by a family friend at her business(for a reduced rate) and she stops mid haircut to take a personal call. Maybe I'm being anal, but it's my personal opinion That if your doing something for money, it should have your undivided attention. I equivalate her actions with a policeman driving to his house for a snack during his rounds or a waiter eating on the job while he/she has customers. Correct me if I'm wrong.
2. I was introduced to glitter tattoos. These fuckers are temporary glittery bright tattoos that women put on there breasts. Now, the way I found out about these things is the 21ish hairdresser next to her had one and I got caught looking. -
Sorry I was looking at your glittery breasts, it's not like I was looking unprovoked. Putting a glittery tattoo on the damn things is like putting a sign on them in neon that says "Look Here." this is another weapon in a women's arsenal to humiliate us. They wear g strings, short as hell shorts, and yoga pants that make us look and yell at us when we do. They wear bras you can see through the shirt they are wearing, tops cut nearly to the breast line or lower, and now these glittery tattoos and yell at us again. Fuck that, if I put rhinestones on my crouch area of my pants, I would expect a woman to look because that would be why I'd put them there. I repeat my previous statement: women are the ducks of society. They have pretty feathers, invite you to get close, then attack you. Fuck you bitch ass ducks.
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3. I looked at my hair and made a suggestion for a certain way it should look. I then proceeded to listen to why I was wrong and how I should just, "mess with it when I get home." I left but I was pissed. Fuck your suggestion, I'm a paying customer if I want it a certain way I'm having it that way. Have you heard the phrase the customer is always right. No. I bet you haven't. My point being she could've been a bit more accomadating, rather than telling me to basicly deal with it. This was a fun visit for a haircut.
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Messing with my dog is fun. I mean like when he's sleeping stacking stuff on him or putting like 15 blankets onto him to where he can't get out. Stuff like that. If my dog could talk he'd call me a bastard. That's why I never liked the movies where dogs could talk. I'm sure the conversation about when the kid rode the dog like a small pony would come up, but they never mention that. They always make the dog seem like it has acute ADHD but are smart. I would think if a dog could talk the first thing it would say is why do you feed me this? I literally prefer my own feces to eating this "food." Your taking me on a ride to get some real foid, we are going to TGI Fridays.
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Hahaha that's funny as hell
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😄 Bean have I ever told you how awesome you are 😘
^ That'll probably cause narcissism thread 4 😂
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🌹 Add GODESS 🌹 wrote:
Nah, I have to have a narcissistic thought to spark the thread. But thanks, it sort of helps to know that y'all like reading these even though they are long(some rants last 2000 words). I don't think I've had a rant specific to TW yet either. That's odd. I want some of that tea coffee I had yesterday. I miss it.😄 Bean have I ever told you how awesome you are 😘
^ That'll probably cause narcissism thread 4 😂
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I ate freebirds burritos today and it was delicious. The guy at the counter asked me what I wanted and I got into it. Here's a little snippet of our conversation:
"you want some meat in your burrito"
"yeah, slap that muthafucka in there"
"you want some cilantro rice or reg rice"
"bitch please you know I want that cilantro you don't even got to ask"
Yeah the whole burrito making process went like that. The guy gave me a discount. After I ordered it got me thinking, what if I got mega monster burrito and just told them to put everyone on the bar on it. It'd be 25$ burrito. I bet it'd be hard to wrap it. It would probably take 2 people to wrap it. I'd bet they'd name it after me. The BadBean burrito, yeah I like the sound of that. Plus you get all the tinfoil you want to play around with. It reminds me of the days if make tinfoil hats to keep ghosts away. I was a creative child. -
The US has staged one of the greatest heists ever. Okay now hear me out. I realized today that since the US sales tax is 8.25%, There is going to be small numbers.I bought 3 ice cream $1 cones today and the total was 3.25. Now I did the math and the total should've been 3.2475. Okay fuck that the US stole a quarter of a penny from me. Then I started thinking if they use a rounding standard, that means they could steal up to .5 pennies from each person. Then I checked the sales tax on .99 ending cents numbers and found out sales tax always ends in .xx75. That means factored in to a bill any .99 ending purchase the real number will end in .xx75. So for each purchase of that nature, which is easily 90% of all purchases in our nation, the government steals .25 of a cent from the taxpayers. This may sound negligible, but let's do some math.
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There is 60 million transactions per Day in the US(2006 results probably more now). Okay so 60 million x 365 days /4( to make it pennies) /100(to make it dollars)= roughly 50,000,000. 50,000,000 fucking dollars they stole from their own people!
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This beats the shit out of Ann franks diary. You should recommend this reading to ap English.
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For that type of money you If you fear for your life you could have a body guard, and have a body guard to guard you from the body guard, or have a body guard to guard you from the other two body guards. And so on and so forth until you have 1,000 body guards then pay them 50000 dollars each for a year. Better yet you could make Newt Gringichs moon base and send him to it. Fuck me, I wish I thought to do this. If I ever open a business I'm going to charge 5.9951 for a cupcake and not tell my customers and round up. Stealing their money in the process. And if the IRS comes I'll threaten to reveal the government secret and they'll leave me alone. It's fool proof. I bet I could get away with selling crack the same way. I'm a boss.
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YOU wrote:
Oops I forgot to say I multpilied by .9 before I got to 50,000,000. To represent the 90% of transactions that round up in this way.There is 60 million transactions per Day in the US(2006 results probably more now). Okay so 60 million x 365 days /4( to make it pennies) /100(to make it dollars)= roughly 50,000,000. 50,000,000 fucking dollars they stole from their own people!
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They would be pleased. It's a shame he did not read it.
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I just saw a commercial for Miller 64. I had 2 awesome thoughts upon seeing this, and I shall relate them to you now:
1.Miller is really going for the nerd demographic. Now here me out. Nerds make up 2/3 of the statistics and according to them buy 88% of the beer... And hand lotion. Anyways, the reason I say they are going after the nerd population is Miller 64, really, you choose that exact number? It's too much of a coincidence! Miller is trying to make a Minecraft drinking game. A bundle of stone in minecraft has 64 pieces in it, so the obvious transition is that for every 64 for stone you mine, you have to drink a miller 64. When I used to play that game I'd mine like 15 bundles at a time. I would've gotten so shit faced I would've woken up and my avatar would have writing on its face and there would be stone penises(peni? What is plural penis?) all over the map. -
Better yet, you could apply that to any nintendo 64 game as well. Everytime you hear do a barrel roll in starfox, drink a miller64. Damn you Miller and your clever marketing, why didn't I think of that? Oh well, I'll just corner other markets:
Tequila with gunpowder in it: take a shot everytime you get a kill in MW3 or BF3.
Big dot liquor:take a shot everytime you cap or place a turf in TW
1up martini mix: drink if you get a green mushroom in any Mario game.
There is infinite potential there!
Nerds like me always need to get wasted while gaming! It makes it funnier and less soul crushing when you realize you could be having sex right now!
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