Ye Guts for Garters Pub
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Four sailors from the tall sailing ships have finished swabbing the floor. Curtains have been drawn to shut out the harsh cruel light of truth. Innuendo and rumor have emerged in the quasi darkness, hinting at lascivious behavior to come. Music is provided by the clinking glasses on the bar and metallic clanking of guns and knives under the tables. Hope the musicians turn up soon. New applicants are welcome to drink from the spittoon.
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The Far Side wrote:
I'm impressed with the job, I was worried it would be one of those horrible makeovers but the chairs still have the appropriate seat marlins for each local, and the smell of cigars still wafts through the air....Four sailors from the tall sailing ships have finished swabbing the floor. Curtains have been drawn to shut out the harsh cruel light of truth. Innuendo and rumor have emerged in the quasi darkness, hinting at lascivious behavior to come. Music is provided by the clinking glasses on the bar and metallic clanking of guns and knives under the tables. Hope the musicians turn up soon. New applicants are welcome to drink from the spittoon.
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Belch.
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Belch.
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Belch. That's three belches without anyone commenting.
Belch. That's four. Belch. That's five. Parp. That wasn't a belch.... Well, okay, it was a bum belch. -
All is quiet in the pub I see. I've been out loot hunting. Still need to set a few traps though. Tiring work catching that loot and placing it on my loot farm...
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There should be some loot floating around, Hyena. A goodly chunk of mine is no longer in my possession.
Skreeeek sqraaaaawk, click....and suddenly Bob Dylan is playing on the jukebox. How can this be?.
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The Far Side wrote:
Don't know why but no one has capped any of my loot for a very long time?? Wonder if its because of the respect I am afforded or the fear with which my name is whispered in dark corners making people justifiably not want to incur my incredible and unforgiving wrath....There should be some loot floating around, Hyena. A goodly chunk of mine is no longer in my possession.
Skreeeek sqraaaaawk, click....and suddenly Bob Dylan is playing on the jukebox. How can this be?.
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Its because of the scoundrels that you can find in the mids of this fine establishment...
The guts for parpers club is gaining a reputation...
Muhahaha
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A fine establishment indeed with its fine gents.From the Garters come muffled sounds of revelry;clopping sounds of Trigger,an occasional yelp and howl of foolish glee from some devilish antic.Heads and shoulders silhouette against the windows from within.The barkeep bawls objurgations with the odd rattle of a foot long implement terminating in a small spiked knob,a gavel of sorts to exert authority.And from a side door one can spy the cook hovering over a cauldron of bubbling sauce,indifferent to the scurrying of the scuttling cockroaches.At the centre of the room a few undersized musicians play on accordions and reed-pipes.The onlookers huddled over their drinks conniving and muttering with the occasional glimpse of a pretty little scantily dressed thing cavorting and singing in a nasal voice,at once urgent and breathless.Yes,The Garter is a wonderful place to whet your whistle.
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Ahhhh the Garter, a place of peace and solitude from the hectic and busy world outside.
I've done my posted my Yawn, put up missing post flyers. No hopping today but a busy day tomorrow planned so only a couple before heading back to Yawn Towers for a nap....
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Next rounds on me boys and girls.... A successful nights trapping of loot hitting 8 turf and bagging 8 smugglers tunnels, 2 union bosses, 1 liquor license and 1 bagman...
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Arrrrrr! There be pirates about! Excellent evening of carpetbagging.
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Ah huh and heyho. Be thy swollen babbages in mine duck down? For this merrymans member is tall and proud awaiting admittance. Be thy of shallow abode my partakings would be serviced unto the sleeping lockinners on thoust billiard slate. To the glory and to the ballast of thine bossom hammock , I bequeath mine oat.
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YOU wrote:
Nothing, not a complaint, not a whine, not a swear word.... I'll need to chat with FreeMason and see what I'm doing wrong.Next rounds on me boys and girls.... A successful nights trapping of loot hitting 8 turf and bagging 8 smugglers tunnels, 2 union bosses, 1 liquor license and 1 bagman...
Ah stuff it just give me another drink...
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I will take a drinky Mr. H!
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Hey diddle dee,hey diddle doe, she be bedecked with a camel ... What's that barkeep? Why yes,another flagon please. Now,where was I?
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...and it makes it just so.
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The incessant attacks on my lax turf dries my whistle. My tongue so parched it is but the size of a rats testicle and heavily wrinkled. I come between laying more to counter the loss with urgent need of White Fairy Urinale. Luke warm please barman.
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Vain attempts to communicate with diplomacy bring me back to the bottle. I may soon be forced to make a decision I know I will regret. To align my mobsters with a side!!!
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Ehm... Barkeep, drinks *hic are on vvizshhbum *hic vishzbrum *hic DEMMIT!
Vishbume! *hicHe stolez my *hic wallzet zho now e cin pay *hic
Oh, and could ye please call molly ?*hic
I hear she be fondeling *hic with cap'in fawwe*hic
FarrZl*hic
DEMMIT!
Farrel!
I shall smite the wrech when *hic i finds her, fir sellin me ouwt... -
Molly said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
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The Far Side wrote:
😔Molly said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
No, just no.....
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⚜Ꮶ͜иιɢн͡т⚜ wrote:
Pick a good one. There might be an upside to the left side, or the right side might leave you lopsided. The downside might be ill effects downstream. Once aligned, you might be maligned if you want to disassociate. But we're all good neighbors here, and what are neighbors for if not to help each other?Vain attempts to communicate with diplomacy bring me back to the bottle. I may soon be forced to make a decision I know I will regret. To align my mobsters with a side!!!
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Er........
Who left the three "Hanson" albums in the bar???
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The last page won't appear, again.Damn bakers or I have been barred!
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Still no last page. 😡😡😡 half the bar under drapes.
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Charlie Seiga wrote:
That was the prize from the last raffle...Er........
Who left the three "Hanson" albums in the bar???
And the one before that....
And the one before that....
Etc...
Etc...
Etc...
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Hyena wrote:
I saw Molly smuggling a pickle in her pants once.The Far Side wrote:
😔Molly said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
No, just no.....
At least, I think it was a pickle... -
I heard her singing something about cockles and muscles.
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