Jokes Pleez!
Forums βΊ General Discussion βΊ Jokes Pleez!-
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not!
Not who?
Not Romney!πππππ -
So im camping with my friend, we get in our tent and fall asleep. At about 3 am, he wakes me up, and says
"Look up"
I look up to see millions of stars and planets,
He says to me
"You know what that means right"
I reply
"Yea, the possibility of extra terrestrial life is truly endless, there is no many planets and stars humans could never find all the possibilities.
"NO YOU IDIOT SOMEONE STOLE OUR TENT" -
4nick8r wrote:
Omg! My name reely isnt skythelimit!ππSkyTheLimit wrote:
My names not really Nick πShort*1 wrote:
I liked sam and nick's jokes too....i assume tthats wat yu meen πOMG she is still alive. I thought she was dead. Guess who's back.!!!
-
4nick8r wrote:
BAAAAAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAThis guy walks into a bar & orders a dozen shots of taquila & starts downing them one after the other. The bartender ask "what are you celebrating?". The man replies "First blow job". "Well congrats" replies the bartender "the next shot is on the house". "No thanks" says the man " if the first 12 don't get rid of the taste, nothing will".
-
πΰΌΰ₯ΰ½§ΰ€Όΰ½ΰ€ΰ½Ίΰ½ΰΌΰΌ¨ΰ½α§ΰΌπ wrote:
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAKnock knock.
Who's there?
Not!
Not who?
Not Romney!πππππ
so apropriat tday! -
βΦ Ι΄ΥͺΗ« wrote:
Love thatππππππSo im camping with my friend, we get in our tent and fall asleep. At about 3 am, he wakes me up, and says
"Look up"
I look up to see millions of stars and planets,
He says to me
"You know what that means right"
I reply
"Yea, the possibility of extra terrestrial life is truly endless, there is no many planets and stars humans could never find all the possibilities.
"NO YOU IDIOT SOMEONE STOLE OUR TENT" -
SkyTheLimit wrote:
LMFAO. True, but both our names stand for sometime great. π4nick8r wrote:
Omg! My name reely isnt skythelimit!ππSkyTheLimit wrote:
My names not really Nick πShort*1 wrote:
I liked sam and nick's jokes too....i assume tthats wat yu meen πOMG she is still alive. I thought she was dead. Guess who's back.!!!
-
I was walking through the cemetery when I saw a man squatting by a headstone. "morning" I said to him.
" no" he replied, "taking a shit". -
So I'm talking in class, and the teacher says
"Stop talking or else i will call your parents!"
Then I say
"But my mom is in the hospital"
"Oh well, i can call you dad!"
"But my dad took money and left us"
"Okay then, just dont let it happen again"Im so happy my mom is a nurse and my dad is a buisnessman
-
Taking votes fr best joker!
-
So you're the fucker who keyed m car!?!?!
Well just to let you know that was your car! Not mine
And You didnt key it, i did!!!!
Now who's crazy?!?!?!?!?!?
-
Shit man, what happened to you!
I fell off my bike
Into a bear
-
βΦ Ι΄ΥͺΗ« wrote:
Ifunny user here lol. Me too πShit man, what happened to you!
I fell off my bike
Into a bear
-
π© MaddHatter π© wrote:
Just so happens i own a banana tree πππβΦ Ι΄ΥͺΗ« wrote:
Ifunny user here lol. Me too πShit man, what happened to you!
I fell off my bike
Into a bear
-
I was quite surprised when my lesbian neighbors have me a Rolex for my birthday...
They asked me what I wanted, but I guess they didn't understand when I said "I wanna watch" -
βΦ Ι΄ΥͺΗ« wrote:
Lmaoπ© MaddHatter π© wrote:
Just so happens i own a banana tree πππβΦ Ι΄ΥͺΗ« wrote:
Ifunny user here lol. Me too πShit man, what happened to you!
I fell off my bike
Into a bear
-
What if we were all zombies once
And then there was a human apocalypse?
-
Dalas = Salad
-
YOU wrote:
You two with iFunny go to featured and go to what a suprise. It is a picture of a monkey and seven seconds long.βΦ Ι΄ΥͺΗ« wrote:
Lmaoπ© MaddHatter π© wrote:
Just so happens i own a banana tree πππβΦ Ι΄ΥͺΗ« wrote:
Ifunny user here lol. Me too πShit man, what happened to you!
I fell off my bike
Into a bear
-
πΆI'm too sexy for my shirtπΆ
πHahahahaha
πno, seriously put your shirt back on -
A small business owner is struggling to stay afloat and comes to the realization that he has to lay off one of his employees to make ends meet. The problem is, he can't decide between his two amazing assistants, Jack and Jill. They've both been with him for years and they're both smart, capable, and reliable. Finally he decides to just call them to a meeting. He instructs Jack and Jill that he is having a hard time making up his mind but one of them is going to lose their job.
He calls Jill into his office first. After about thirty seconds, Jill runs out of the boss' office, crying. Jack watches her run out the front door and slam it behind her.
Jack turns to his boss and smiles. "You made the right choice, sir," he says. The boss looks back and says "I didn't make any choice, though. All I said to her was I can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off."
-
Bartender is closing up the bar for the night, when he hears a knock at the door. He walks over and there's a homeless guy standing there. "Sorry, we're closed," he tells the bum. "It's ok sir," the homeless guy says. "I was wondering if you could spare a toothpick." the bartender thinks its strange but he goes and gets the bum a toothpick.
A minute later there's another knock at the door. Bartender walks over and sees a different bum standing there. "We're closed." "Oh, I know sir, I was just hoping to get a toothpick from you," he tells the bartender. The bartender is curious but he goes and gets the bum a toothpick.
(continued...)
-
(continued from above)
A minute later, there's a third knock at the door. Bartender walks over and opens the door. There's a third homeless guy standing there. "Let me guess," says the bartender. "You need a toothpick?" "No, sir, not a toothpick," the bum responds. "I was wondering if I could trouble you for a straw?"
The bartenders curiosity is too much. "A straw?" he says. "Sure. On one condition. Whats it for?" The homeless guy explains. "One of your patrons got sick on the sidewalk, but the good stuff's already taken."
-
*Hot girl comes up to me and asks
"Is that a banana in your pocket or you just happy to see me"
It was the last time i brought a banana to school -
Ok, so this joke is awful. It is gross, discusting, and I feel like less of a human for spreading this filth, but if it helps sky laugh...........
What does 85 year old pussy taste like?
Depends.
If you didn't laugh Sky, let me know so I can delete this from the world of cyberspace. π
-
4nick8r wrote:
Mild and funny. You're good bro.Ok, so this joke is awful. It is gross, discusting, and I feel like less of a human for spreading this filth, but if it helps sky laugh...........
What does 85 year old pussy taste like?
Depends.
If you didn't laugh Sky, let me know so I can delete this from the world of cyberspace. π
-
I heard that Minecraft had a update, i hope they upgraded the graphics to get rid of all the cubes
-
4nick8r wrote:
EeeewwwwwwwwwOk, so this joke is awful. It is gross, discusting, and I feel like less of a human for spreading this filth, but if it helps sky laugh...........
What does 85 year old pussy taste like?
Depends.
If you didn't laugh Sky, let me know so I can delete this from the world of cyberspace. π
Baaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaah -
πΎα¦α»αͺαπΎ wrote:
Borowin this 1!A small business owner is struggling to stay afloat and comes to the realization that he has to lay off one of his employees to make ends meet. The problem is, he can't decide between his two amazing assistants, Jack and Jill. They've both been with him for years and they're both smart, capable, and reliable. Finally he decides to just call them to a meeting. He instructs Jack and Jill that he is having a hard time making up his mind but one of them is going to lose their job.
He calls Jill into his office first. After about thirty seconds, Jill runs out of the boss' office, crying. Jack watches her run out the front door and slam it behind her.
Jack turns to his boss and smiles. "You made the right choice, sir," he says. The boss looks back and says "I didn't make any choice, though. All I said to her was I can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off."
-
Ok, keep em comin. Hart still unstedy but like i sed laffter is indeed th best med!
πWIZZOO!π
![[][]](https://turfwarsapp.com/img/app/ajax-forbutton.gif)
Purchase Respect Points NEW! Β· Support Β· Turf Map Β· Terms Β· Privacy
Β©2021 MeanFreePath LLC