Is it ok for parents to hit their kids?
Forums › General Discussion › Is it ok for parents to hit their kids?-
I agree that there are more than one way of raising a child. For me, none of them involve hitting/slapping/spanking, or whatever you choose to call it. I believe in dialogue, compromise, talking, listening, and trying to understand one another. To me that is part of a democratic society, where everyone has the right to live without fear, and everyone has the right to be heard.
I see hitting as a frustrated failure in the relationship between a parent and the child. -
I am about as far from new age shit as you can get. We have never had a tradition of physically beating our children.
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That's good that your method works on your children. Though how other kids behave an how their parents discipline them are there business. As long as the punishments or whatever are for the kids' own goods and not abusing them.
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🔥SirTalkALot🔥 wrote:
How old Are you?My mom has slapped me a few times. Most of the times I deserved it, some other times, she just needed to chill out. She makes small things a very big deal sometimes.
Any ways I think slapping or hitting (not beating) your kids can get them to listen to you and make them stop arguing (that's usually the reason my mom slaps me) But beating or hitting ur kids multiple times is just wrong in my opinion. What do you think? -
Mr_White wrote:
That what my gradma does lolI remember when I was a kid, my grandpa made me go pick out my own switch. God that shit sucked.
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i see both sides of the medal, and i do agree with some points of both party's, however....
hillbilly is right in what he says, now im not saying the majority is, but there is deffo a lot of kids these days that think they are entiteled to certain things, and if they dont get it, hell breaks lose.
shopping mall, little kid cant have the candy, he starts kicking and fussing until he gets what he wants.
if i see one of those, and im asking you peeps aswell what you think of this, but when i do see one of those, i cant help myself but thinking, oh boy, if you were my kid, you would know a no is a no, and not a start screaming and youll get it. im sure that in cases like these dialogue or denial of certain things at home just aint gonna work, so in these cases, some form of physical punishment would actually get to the kid. i do have examples of this aswell.... -
I see a spanking as a nessesity for situations that a "talking to" wont cut it. That's usually a 2nd or 3rd strike at the same thing.
Tell them no once.
They do it again, telling them no isn't gonna work. Being "bad" has to be connected to a Bad consequence. -
Maybe Katie wrote:
I agree with them👆Looks like a can of worms though? I think we should all learn from our parents mistakes and not repeat them!! I have two children and when they do wrong I would never hit them! there is no need to hit a child nor should you! If hitting your child works for you then that's because u don't have patients and you shouldn't be a parent. The flip side to this is your chil will repeat your parenting skills on there children and so forth..break this abusive cycle and lead by example in a positive way.LexSuede wrote:
I agree.It's not ok for parents to hit their kids.
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This "new age crap" has little to do with spanking or not spanking. If that were true 99.9% of children in Scandinavia would be running amok and many (most?) of the American kids would not be feeling "entitled" or "self-righteous" as you mentioned. Kids/teenagers are basically the same everywhere, at least in the west, and their parents are equally frustrated/baffled. Just as every generation has thought that the new one after it is the end of civilization...
I think the problem is that adults are not present in their childrens' lives. -
I don't even have to hit my dog to train him. I sure don't need to hit my kids. And I don't recall them ever throwing a tantrum in the mall.
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It depends on either the gender of the child an how old try are. Hitting anybody under 5 would be wrong and hitting a little girl would be wrong. If the kid is between 6-15 an occasional spanking or slap would be well off.
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Ojibwe wrote:
The reason children throw tantrums at the mall is because it is boring as hell to be there. They are tired, bored, likely hungry... A recipe for disaster. The ones that throw tantrums in the candy aisle are the ones whose behaviour is rewarded with whatever treat they want just to get them to be quiet.I don't even have to hit my dog to train him. I sure don't need to hit my kids. And I don't recall them ever throwing a tantrum in the mall.
Yay to you for believing in dialogue :) -
Mr_White wrote:
Oh me too! And if that switch wasn't good enough we got it even worse!I remember when I was a kid, my grandpa made me go pick out my own switch. God that shit sucked.
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LexSuede wrote:
Only if he wants his ass beatSo the boss can slap you in a discipline matter?
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Thanks, you took the bait. So why should to physically discipline your child?
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Damn keyboard, a typo again!
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Most parents use physical discipline because they are too lazy to be consistent with actual parenting -- nor patient. It's just a fact that athorative parenting creates the most well rounded people. That said, I can understand why and how people get physical at times. We are animals after all. ;)
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Maybe Katie wrote:
Well put. 👍I agree that there are more than one way of raising a child. For me, none of them involve hitting/slapping/spanking, or whatever you choose to call it. I believe in dialogue, compromise, talking, listening, and trying to understand one another. To me that is part of a democratic society, where everyone has the right to live without fear, and everyone has the right to be heard.
I see hitting as a frustrated failure in the relationship between a parent and the child. -
fartex wrote:
There are kids like this because they receive zero discipline. Discipline does not equal hitting your kid necessarily. There are many forms and correct methods. Nometheless these parents are failing their children as well, not because they don't give them spankings. Because they do not discipline them.i see both sides of the medal, and i do agree with some points of both party's, however....
hillbilly is right in what he says, now im not saying the majority is, but there is deffo a lot of kids these days that think they are entiteled to certain things, and if they dont get it, hell breaks lose.
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★Λddi★ wrote:
👆thisfartex wrote:
Nometheless these parents are failing their children as well, not because they don't give them spankings. Because they do not discipline them.....
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I went to Norway, where (i think) it's illegal to hit your child in any way. The kids were so obnoxious and so misbehaved. One gave me a death threat...lol.
Back in my day, if I did so much as blow bubbles in my pop, I'd get a spanking in front of everyone at the resturant. It's amazing how much our society has changed. The kids seem so much more out of control.
I think spanking and slapping is OK to an extent. But then make sure you show the child compassion after. To reassure that you love them.
That's what my parents did, and people have told my family that I was the most well behaved child they knew. -
★Λddi★ wrote:
Just wondering. Is it the act of hitting you are against, or inflicting pain?Maybe Katie wrote:
Well put. 👍I agree that there are more than one way of raising a child. For me, none of them involve hitting/slapping/spanking, or whatever you choose to call it. I believe in dialogue, compromise, talking, listening, and trying to understand one another. To me that is part of a democratic society, where everyone has the right to live without fear, and everyone has the right to be heard.
I see hitting as a frustrated failure in the relationship between a parent and the child.
Cos I know some ways of causing quite astounding pain which do not require hitting/ physical violence in the slightest. They don't even leave a mark ;) -
I was stubborn asshole as a kid lol. Idk how my dad put up with me. But when I misbehaved, I got the belt. It was the only thing that worked on me. I turned out ok. It depends on the kid. Sometimes a good ass whoopin is called for.
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slugboy wrote:
Lol my dad would grab that pressure point above your collar bone and squeeze★Λddi★ wrote:
Just wondering. Is it the act of hitting you are against, or inflicting pain?Maybe Katie wrote:
Well put. 👍I agree that there are more than one way of raising a child. For me, none of them involve hitting/slapping/spanking, or whatever you choose to call it. I believe in dialogue, compromise, talking, listening, and trying to understand one another. To me that is part of a democratic society, where everyone has the right to live without fear, and everyone has the right to be heard.
I see hitting as a frustrated failure in the relationship between a parent and the child.
Cos I know some ways of causing quite astounding pain which do not require hitting/ physical violence in the slightest. They don't even leave a mark ;) -
... That's splitting hairs. I can't understand any of it. Hitting, slapping, inflicting pain, threatening to do this or that... Why would you want to hurt anyone, let alone your own child? What's the point?
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👋 kids need a good spanking occasionally! If Parents don't care enough to keep their kids in line, they are going to grow up to be lazy ass ungreatfull brats, living off the government. FYI I don't want to pay for them and their future kids SO SPANK THEM if you L💙VE them!!!
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Maybe Katie wrote:
I think you are reading to much into some people's posting. I do not swat/spank my kids to inflict pain. I do it to get their attention after talking with them doesn't do it.... That's splitting hairs. I can't understand any of it. Hitting, slapping, inflicting pain, threatening to do this or that... Why would you want to hurt anyone, let alone your own child? What's the point?
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Maybe Katie wrote:
Say your child is bullying another kid. Really torturing the poor bugger. You have a nice little chat and the child thinks 'awesome, no punishment. May as well continue'. Now maybe the child does stop, but it's my experience that they often continue.... That's splitting hairs. I can't understand any of it. Hitting, slapping, inflicting pain, threatening to do this or that... Why would you want to hurt anyone, let alone your own child? What's the point?
However, let the child experience a little of the pain they are inflicting in a controlled and non excessive way, and let them know there is more of that available if they don't desist. They generally stop. Fast. -
slugboy wrote:
I think that children who bully have often been bullied themselves by the adults around then. They learn that behaviour somewhere. They grow up feeling small and helpless and take this out on others.Maybe Katie wrote:
Say your child is bullying another kid. Really torturing the poor bugger. You have a nice little chat and the child thinks 'awesome, no punishment. May as well continue'. Now maybe the child does stop, but it's my experience that they often continue.
However, let the child experience a little of the pain they are inflicting in a controlled and non excessive way, and let them know there is more of that available if they don't desist. They generally stop. Fast.
The time to talk with your child about how to treat others isn't once they've begun picking on others. You have to live it everyday from the start. -
Slugboy, if it has gone so far as you describe, don't you think that it would be better to discuss whether the kid must have professional help? Just think for a moment if he has a diagnose. You think that it's good to "whip his ass" but if he could get professional help as a kid and maybe medicated, he might be a better citizen as an adult?
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