The mafia diary
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I admitted to her about my diary...my friends...the fact iv been drinking for years. I'm the fuck up of the family, I have no regard for my life or anyone's around me...I simply don't care, I'm numb...what should I ruin there fucking life...
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Sunday: week 8: day 30:
Breakfast: I'm dressed nice for church..well what's nice in my opinion right... Iv got a dress shirt from Walmart...it has cig burns all over it...work boots and idk what my pants are...why do I care anyways
Lunch: I got thrown out of hueys today, the waitress interrupted me with her smug look and hatred of life...well I called her a bitch and threw my food on her, what does she have to botch about? She works at fucking hueys...she wears a simi slutty attire and serves fucking burgers!
Dinner: my dad called...I told him about my day...minus the waitress...but I don't feel like eating tonight so im just gonna down a cheap beer and some sleeping pills
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Monday: week 9: day 31: how have I made it this far?
Breakfast: I woke up with a head ache...hatred for life, the annoyance for people around me and I'm at the station, my Cheif bought me food and gave it to me.
Lunch: it's my turn to cook the lunch meal at the station...I'm cooking BBQ, everybody was astonished at my ability to cook, they said I should open a BBQ joint
Dinner: ha I'm eating that steak tonight, u know some pepper, steak sauce steak and various vegetables and ah and I put some ah what's it called...damn nvm...not like u can look diary..but it was damn good
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Tuesday: week 9: day 32:
Breakfast: time to work at Kroger, woho!
Lunch: a lady gave me 200 dollars today...she said I looked like I needed it?wtf does she know...I used it to buy beer tho...hope she's happy! I could buy that beer out of spite
Dinner: people say I'm a ass hole...I know it's true...I'm a dick...I'm a ass hole, I have no emotion left in my body, u can keep saying things...but this is me not caring
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Wednesday:week 9: day 33:
Breakfast: when left on my own I go fucking insane, this diary should have a R rated on it...it's all just raw thoughts of a worthless lost man, writing the last thoughts before he jumps off the cliff...
Lunch: I want to kill myself...I'm hitting the breaking point...I'm done...I'm ready to break..I can't handle it...give me another week..
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Memphis mafia wrote:
Yes you are an asshole, and asshole that can change his life around. I'm an asshole, most of us are assholes (at least a few times in out life's) all the best man I'm glued to this!Tuesday: week 9: day 32:
Breakfast: time to work at Kroger, woho!
Lunch: a lady gave me 200 dollars today...she said I looked like I needed it?wtf does she know...I used it to buy beer tho...hope she's happy! I could buy that beer out of spite
Dinner: people say I'm a ass hole...I know it's true...I'm a dick...I'm a ass hole, I have no emotion left in my body, u can keep saying things...but this is me not caring
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Dinner: this seems like a dream I go through...like a nightmare...u know the ones where u are being eaten...and u can't wake up? U feel every tooth that enters ur body in ur dream, and u scream in ur sleep...because ur scared to death and u can't wake up...u think it's real, then u wake up screaming, covered in sweat, laying in a puddle of ur own urine, slapping urself fighting off the imaginary monsters that were eating u...that's my day to say life...welcome to my life
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You know...I look at my life now...after, AA, going to a mental facility 3 times, multiple hospital visits...random women and I go...I was the most lost man u can ever see..now..these days I'm the most loving father, to my sisters kid (my three year old) my kid...my little 7 week old princess, and my fiancé who is now pregnant with our first child, I look back at that man, that man that was lost...without hope, and go...thank u, u made me the man I am today
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script.Twilight part III.its about nothing,but everyone will identify with it.a kind of wailing and gnashing of teeth,without the teeth,but plenty of wailing.book bruckheimer,he's good at this stuff
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messrine wrote:
Dafuqscript.Twilight part III.its about nothing,but everyone will identify with it.a kind of wailing and gnashing of teeth,without the teeth,but plenty of wailing.book bruckheimer,he's good at this stuff
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"havent been this moved since potter "
new statesman
"a right rip roaring read"
New york times
"definitive explanation of the jeux a deaux"
Paris weekly
"I laughed,I cried.a masterpiece of modern juxtaposition,deserves to be read along with Updike,a cry from the heart of darkness"
Time out -
sue me
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messrine wrote:
Idk what to think about the first one..."havent been this moved since potter "
new statesman
"a right rip roaring read"
New york times
"definitive explanation of the jeux a deaux"
Paris weekly
"I laughed,I cried.a masterpiece of modern juxtaposition,deserves to be read along with Updike,a cry from the heart of darkness"
Time out -
Сюмшдиdэя. Рщи wrote:
To each his own...weird interpretation..who am I to judge ehmessrine wrote:
Dafuqscript.Twilight part III.its about nothing,but everyone will identify with it.a kind of wailing and gnashing of teeth,without the teeth,but plenty of wailing.book bruckheimer,he's good at this stuff
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Memphis mafia wrote:
Very trueСюмшдиdэя. Рщи wrote:
To each his own...weird interpretation..who am I to judge ehmessrine wrote:
Dafuqscript.Twilight part III.its about nothing,but everyone will identify with it.a kind of wailing and gnashing of teeth,without the teeth,but plenty of wailing.book bruckheimer,he's good at this stuff
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Сюмшдиdэя. Рщи wrote:
If he wants to bring vamps and wolf people into this discussion idk..lol have fun?Memphis mafia wrote:
Very trueСюмшдиdэя. Рщи wrote:
To each his own...weird interpretation..who am I to judge ehmessrine wrote:
Dafuqscript.Twilight part III.its about nothing,but everyone will identify with it.a kind of wailing and gnashing of teeth,without the teeth,but plenty of wailing.book bruckheimer,he's good at this stuff
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ray Milland was good.he sold his typewriter,
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messrine wrote:
Do u really have to hyjack this thread? I remember u from a year ago! U were a dirty forum troll that hide under bridges :3 weren't you!ray Milland was good.he sold his typewriter,
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Thursday:week 9:day 33:
Breakfast: eggs and beer! My normaly breakfast! Woohoo! With a side of anti depressants and pain pills, seem good to u diary? Because it tastes bitter sweet to me
Lunch: I sat outside the fire station today, I thought about Ashley as I smoked my last cig in my second pack of the day..
Dinner: I'm cooking tonight, idk what I'll cook...I think I'll do hot dogs
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saelo wrote:
Damn saelo 😘 love u girl, I know not to rub u the wrong waymessrine wrote:
Stfu mess. Take your sloppy drunk attempts at profundity to your own thread, ya tit.script.Twilight part III.its about nothing,but everyone will identify with it.a kind of wailing and gnashing of teeth,without the teeth,but plenty of wailing.book bruckheimer,he's good at this stuff
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Memphis mafia wrote:
You know...I look at my life now...after, AA, going to a mental facility 3 times, multiple hospital visits...random women and I go...I was the most lost man u can ever see..now..these days I'm the most loving father, to my sisters kid (my three year old) my kid...my little 7 week old princess, and my fiancé who is now pregnant with our first child, I look back at that man, that man that was lost...without hope, and go...thank u, u made me the man I am today
There ya go. That's what it's all about. Maybe sharing this will help someone else really struggling right now.
I have a question. What drove you to start keeping a journal?
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the more I know,the less I care.which is doubly damning,considering I'm right next to mafia.some people just like to be listened to
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saelo wrote:
I got tired of not remembering what did the day before, it gave me Somewhere to put my feelings, no one else cared, and purely it was Something to keep me remotely saneMemphis mafia wrote:
You know...I look at my life now...after, AA, going to a mental facility 3 times, multiple hospital visits...random women and I go...I was the most lost man u can ever see..now..these days I'm the most loving father, to my sisters kid (my three year old) my kid...my little 7 week old princess, and my fiancé who is now pregnant with our first child, I look back at that man, that man that was lost...without hope, and go...thank u, u made me the man I am today
There ya go. That's what it's all about. Maybe sharing this will help someone else really struggling right now.
I have a question. What drove you to start keeping a journal?
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"the mafia diary"
for fucks sake -
messrine wrote:
Hey now! Don't get mad because it's Friday and ur drunk! Go make a diary it helps :)"the mafia diary"
for fucks sake -
face to face,that's where it is.but you're an anachronism,a present day explanation.you get nothing here,except platitudes
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messrine wrote:
Ok then...I'll forgive u! I knows it's Fridayface to face,that's where it is.but you're an anachronism,a present day explanation.you get nothing here,except platitudes
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Friday: week 9: day 34:
Breakfast: waking up today was bitter sweet, I woke up to a call from Ashley's mom, she said she had something for me.
Lunch: I visited Ashley's mom and she gave me her diary, have not read it yet.
Dinner: I read parts of her diary, there's parts from when she was six in here.
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Friday:week 9,day 34
rations running low,Harris ate the last of the seal and the blubber was all we had left to light the fire.no breakfast
Lunch:no lunch,as explained before
Dinner:Harris burps n farts in sleep,god I wish he were dead -
Christmas day: last time I post in this book, this hasn't been the best few months...haven't felt like writing...next year I'll write more tho!
Met a girl, we have been going for 2 months now, ha she drinks just like me! Idk if it drags me down or takes me up but Idc, were a perfect match when we are drunk!
Granted any other time I can't stand her...but I'm drunk 95% of the time, the Cheif made me take a break from working...had my first death...so I won't be working for a month he says...it's what ever...well it's Christmas...I'm alone in my appartment... Once again the pantries empty, crackers and ranch for every meal again, oh! I found a new drug today...it's a surprise tho...
It spreads Christmas cheer! In a time of need...my girl introduced it to me...I'm going up in the world!Anyways see u next year...new book...new weeks...I'll post all I can
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