The mafia diary
Forums › General Discussion › The mafia diary-
Listen man. There's a lot of people interested in this thread. Don't let some troll side track you. It's a good read. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
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Day 1: week 1: of a new year...
I'm gonna stop putting days...they arnt days anymore they are nightmares.Basically I'll just give a overview of my day now...considering the only time I'm really in the right mind to write is at night so...welcome to my fucking life this year.. Diary part 2? Better then the first maybe...idk but here we go
Today my girl got the stuff, the magic drug, it's amazing...it's good no drug tests are happening...
This Is the last year of my life
I'm in love with the drug, I'm in love with the girl.We got married in the spite of the moment, who celebrates but watching drugs boil in a spoon...well that's how we celebrated
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You should right a book about this
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Day 2: week 1: she's pregnant...the count down begins...how did it happen this quick? How is it going downhill...I'm not in the write mind to be a father...I can do this, I'm a mess, I'm even worse then when I was with Ashley...I'm a monster, I look in the mirror...I look at my arms...the scars the horrible scars..I was a bueatiful child once upon a time, I'm rejected by my family...I'm a disappointment..I can't keep going much longer...now the count down starts, the name of the count is death...when's it gonna happen and how... We will see
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Showing the world that anyone can recover
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Nikki Sixx already did it! I can't steal his thunder he's my hero 😘💗
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Day 3: week 1: she wants a abortion...I can't deal with that...I want my child...I have to try to quit this drug...but my kind changes rapidly, one second I'll want to Change, the next I wont...I miss work...I need work...she's such a bitch...why did I marry her in the moment? All she does is bitch about not having the drug, she can't afford it and I refuse to get it for her...my child? Does she not care, about the child
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God bless you and all the people that suffered through this with you.I praise you for sharing a story like this. I actually can relate to ya bro!
I was going through things like this in my teens. Never thought about a journal at the time though. Good stuff!👌🙏 -
🍁Canuks🍁 wrote:
Agreed! Love the journal format too.You should right a book about this
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messrine wrote:
Ok I'll admit it. Instead of getting all pissed off again, I lol at this entry.Friday:week 9,day 34
rations running low,Harris ate the last of the seal and the blubber was all we had left to light the fire.no breakfast
Lunch:no lunch,as explained before
Dinner:Harris burps n farts in sleep,god I wish he were deadThough I hesitated commenting as I don't really want to encourage his return to *this* thread, either.
Whadda dilemma...
Ok memphis, darlin'. Looking forward to more this weekend.
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Memphis mafia wrote:
Bookmark.Sunday: week 8: day 30:
Breakfast: I'm dressed nice for church..well what's nice in my opinion right... Iv got a dress shirt from Walmart...it has cig burns all over it...work boots and idk what my pants are...why do I care anyways
Lunch: I got thrown out of hueys today, the waitress interrupted me with her smug look and hatred of life...well I called her a bitch and threw my food on her, what does she have to botch about? She works at fucking hueys...she wears a simi slutty attire and serves fucking burgers!
Dinner: my dad called...I told him about my day...minus the waitress...but I don't feel like eating tonight so im just gonna down a cheap beer and some sleeping pills
(sorry guys) -
Ok lol...the new 2nd year one isn't formatted but it's longer
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Idk I feel like such a ass when I read this >.< this not me now, I was a monster 😭😭😭 it's so fucking dark
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Anyways I let my fiance start reading them and it's like a couch cuddle cry feat while the kids sleep in the mafia house
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Day 4: week 1:
Thought I'd write while I wait for it to boil...it's been a long day...iv lost 20 pounds..I'm turning to skin and bounds...I never eat...I drink beer and do drugs...and take pills...not a very balanced diet I guess -
Memphis mafia wrote:
People go through dark times. I really fell sorry for you, getting yourself off the ground only to be pushed back down again.Idk I feel like such a ass when I read this >.< this not me now, I was a monster 😭😭😭 it's so fucking dark
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Day 5: week 1:
I'm checking into rehab today, they are letting me keep my journal, so u will be with through the detox...and pain...my wife...no matter how much I hate her...has my child and she agreed to do rehab to...and stay clean till the kids born -
Memphis mafia wrote:
Rehab, that's the way to go buddie!Day 5: week 1:
I'm checking into rehab today, they are letting me keep my journal, so u will be with through the detox...and pain...my wife...no matter how much I hate her...has my child and she agreed to do rehab to...and stay clean till the kids born -
Day 6: week 1: my first night in rehab sucked...I had to wait in a tiny room for 8 hours while they processed me...I saw a girl get stabbed in the neck, she was acting up...and hitting her head on the wall till she started bleeding, I watched then clean the spot...she's coming off the same thing as me...I'm scared...I want my mom...I want to be back in Ashley's arms...they said in 8 hours I'll be going through the worse pain in my life... I can't go through that pain...im scared
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Day 7: week 1:
Breakfast: I'm structuring again...it seems to help...fuck my body acts...i can't stop twitching...I can't control my movements...I need it...I can't do this...the first thing u do is detox...the next u go into groups and then u get out...I don't think I'll make it...I saw a patient hang himself today...he's in the room across from me...he swung back and forth for a hour before they noticed..
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Lunch: we have shitty food, I'm reminded of a song my mom use to sing to me As a child...my little sun shine..I don't feel like sunshine...I feel like I'm in hell...this place sucks..it's not rehab...it's a mental assilum...
Dinner: food suck like normal...the song won't go out of my head...it's ironic because it's the complete opposite of where I am...
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Day 7: week 1: midnight...
I thought heavily of suicide...I imagined myself in ashleys arms again...the man swinging in the light...they won't go away...it's driving me insane...Ashley...I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that to u, I'm sorry, im so sorry...u said you would never leave me...if that's true...ur probably with me now...I wish I could see u, feel u...I miss u so much
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Day 1: week 2:
I woke up covered in urine...my body...I can't control it, pain doesn't begin to decribe what I'm going through, this is mental it's a fight, the drugs the alcohol...my brain my body my everything needs it...it doesn't get it, I can't do this..they started me on some medicine I don't even remember the name...it makes me puke constantly -
Day 2: week 2: my parents visited me...they said I looked better, I just hugged my mom...I wouldn't let go.. My body is breaking, it's so fragile...fuck! The food gets better every night...maybe it's just me getting use to the slop...or the fact I don't hold it down for long before I puke...I wake up in puke every morning...I'm suffering
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Day 3..week 2: I had a dream last night, I dreamed I was with Ashley, I was with her I felt her..I was happy...then I woke up...I screamed and hit my fists on the walls I rammed my head into the wall, and fell in the corner crying...it's a sick joke...happy dream..I was with her, her smile her b
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Body next to mine..THEN I WAKE UP IN THIS HELL!
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Memphis mafia wrote:
Dont sweat it man its all in the past 👍Idk I feel like such a ass when I read this >.< this not me now, I was a monster 😭😭😭 it's so fucking dark
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Please update soon. I can't believe what you went through. So glad you didn't give up man
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Can't wait for the next episode. Great work dude! Ashley sounds like a true angel RIP.
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💀ՏɧʀɪɲʉϮ💀+₅₅₂ wrote:
Amen to thatCan't wait for the next episode. Great work dude! Ashley sounds like a true angel RIP.
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