The mafia diary
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You can read or not, Idc but if u have gone through depression, drinking or whatever, I thought I would share a few of my entries in mine, they cover about a 2 year period were I was slowly dying...maybe it will help someone, maybe it will help me to share...idk but read if u want
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And if ur just gonna call bs, this is not the place for u, anyways if yal want me to share just leave some comments
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Continue...
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If it helps 1 person then its worth it
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Day 1.
Since I can't remember what I do everyday, I thought I would record what I do, maybe this will help I don't know, at least I'll know what I did, anyway
Breakfast day 1. Mom picked me up at a bar, don't remember how I got there, she continued the same bill shit speech I hear all the time "we care, what are u doing to yourself" the only answer I have, idk I don't remember, the same generic answer from my father, Son I'm a fire Cheif, where did I go wrong, idk dad don't ask me, why can't u be like ur brother...my mom hands me a ice pack and some coffee, I paid ur bill so he didn't have u arrested, that makes it a thousand dollars u owe us now.Lunch day 1.
Finally I'm out of that house, don't have my car, it's at the bar...gotta call a friend and get a ride
Dinner time day 1: don't have much time, im going out tonigh, I came prepared with cash this time at least, but I always over spend, see you in the morning I guess
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Day 2 morning: I woke up next to a girl, it wasnt my apparat ment or my friend near me, she seemed nice, she made me eggs and smiled, idk it didn't seem fake, I thought she really cared.
Lunch day 2:
The girl gave me her number, her name was Ashley...she never stopped smiling, coffee and eggs, how could I resist... Just the smile lifted my spiritsDinner day 2: I called the girl, I asked get what she was doing saterday, idk maybe I called to quick, u know the whole hard to get thing? Maybe it's BS, because she said she wasn't doing anything all day. Anyways I'm not going out tonight..no money left from my paycheck
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Day 3 morning: bought a cheap beer, drinking in the morning, what have I been reduced to, at least it's cold, I'll be a little tipsy when I go to work
Day 3 lunch: Ashley called and left a message saying she was sorry for missing me, and she was looking forward to saterday. I guess I'll have to try to go without beer the whole weekend...
Day 3 dinner: my mom called, asked when I last had alcohol, and that the bank was calling about my car again...
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Day 4 breakfast:
Today's pay check day, tomorrows saterday, looking forward to Ashley, I even got a shirt from my brother, because all of mine have holes.Day 4 lunch: my mother called and reminded me about my car, fuck where will I get 400 dollars...I begged her to pay it, she gave in and I said I'd pay her back...thousand...400 I owe them now, sorry mom and dad...
Day four dinner:
I went to my mom and dads house to have dinner...might as well they Paid my 2 month bill today...my dad continued yelling...the same speech, why am I com
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Compared to my brother...I'm sorry I wasn't like him dad...I'm sorry I have no "regard" for my life I'm "recklace" the son he never wanted.
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Continue...
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Sorry I have to take a break for a bit, I'll write more later tonight
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Memphis mafia wrote:
OkSorry I have to take a break for a bit, I'll write more later tonight
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Sorry ill continue for a few more days, get the first week at least...
Saterday: morning: day 5: Ashley called we talked for a while, she asked where we were going, I said its a surprise, it's a good spot by the Mississippi river by the metal museum...gives a few of the river and it's suppose to have fog and a nice sun set, can't stay long tho...before we go to dinner
Lunch: day 5:
I went to subway, food it's good, I have money to eat subway...it's been a while...normaly saltine crackers and ranch dressing...dreaming about tonight (did I just put that?)Dinner: day 5: the fog did not disappoint, the sun set was amazing, she said she wanted me to come to church with her...well dinner was amazing, she's beautiful, and stunning
But I gotta go to church with her tomorrow...why did I agree...fuck my life... -
I'm going to counseling sessions myself buddy, I have what is known as PTSD. (ex british army) but I'm getting through this situation with family and friends do you're not alone mate!
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Sunday: day 6: morning...well don't have long church is soon, she said she's taking me to Huey's for lunch, it's gonna be hard...I never have it anymore because I can't afford it and it seems like charity...
Lunch: Sunday: day 6: I looked at the paster, he spoke about addiction, it seemed like he was looking at me..Ashley doesn't know about my drinking, she doesn't know much...
Day 6: Sunday: dinner: the lunch was amazing, Ashley asked why I was writing in this book on the way to Huey's , I just said....helps me remember my life, I just started tho...she asked if she could see and I just put my head down...what was I suppose to say, she going on dates with a drunk? A no life? I work at fucking Kroger as a bag man...I can't tell her. It's been days without a cig I'm freaking...I can't handle it
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Day 7: week 2: Monday...fuck it's another one already? Anyways...off the work...after I go to the gas station and grab 2 beers..I need it just to deal with these rich fucks
Day 7: week 2: lunch: I met one of my friends...haven't seen her in a while...she said I looked like a needed some lunch...she married a lawyer? Damn...she took me to a Italian place...when I walked in I was stared at like a hobo...after all...what's a boy in a dirty Kroger outfit doing in a Italian joint? I looked like..ugh nvm
Day 7: week 2: dinner: she gave me money...I feel horrible...but I put it back in her car as I got out to go back to work...I couldn't take it...after all it would just go to beer right? I'm drunk after all? Where else is 500 dollars g
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Gonna go, it's gonna go to beer...I'm a lost cause, I know I am...my dads told me...my moms about to prob, my brother wont let me near his kids, they ask where iv been..no one has the ability to tell them that there uncle is drinking himself into a coma
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Memphis mafia wrote:
Cool threadGonna go, it's gonna go to beer...I'm a lost cause, I know I am...my dads told me...my moms about to prob, my brother wont let me near his kids, they ask where iv been..no one has the ability to tell them that there uncle is drinking himself into a coma
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₲ɛƞɛяɑƖ ₳łɑƌɛɛƞ wrote:
Thanks I thought it would at least be a good read, maybe I can help someone, but I'll just to put up 2 weeks every dayMemphis mafia wrote:
Cool threadGonna go, it's gonna go to beer...I'm a lost cause, I know I am...my dads told me...my moms about to prob, my brother wont let me near his kids, they ask where iv been..no one has the ability to tell them that there uncle is drinking himself into a coma
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Memphis mafia wrote:
So how did you pull through? And is your spouse ashley?₲ɛƞɛяɑƖ ₳łɑƌɛɛƞ wrote:
Thanks I thought it would at least be a good read, maybe I can help someone, but I'll just to put up 2 weeks every dayMemphis mafia wrote:
Cool threadGonna go, it's gonna go to beer...I'm a lost cause, I know I am...my dads told me...my moms about to prob, my brother wont let me near his kids, they ask where iv been..no one has the ability to tell them that there uncle is drinking himself into a coma
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Day 8: week 2: Tuesday: lunch: woke up in the hospital...apparently I got into a bar fight...I don't remember...Ashley was sitting next to me when I woke up...had to tell her everything, that she was with a idiot, a lost cause, a drunk, struggling to pay for myself food and my car, because it all goes to beer, I told her everything, I cried for the first time in years, she looked at me and said she was with me till the end, I looked at the first person to care about me in years...
Dinner: week two: day 8:Tuesday: Ashley has not left me yet, she stayed by me the whole day, the food sucks, it's dry, my ribs hurt, my chest feels like shit and my heads even worse...could she love me?
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₲ɛƞɛяɑƖ ₳łɑƌɛɛƞ wrote:
I'll get to it! I'm taking it week by week...2 weeks a day lol...no my fiancé is not Ashley, my Ex wife wasn't even ashley...Memphis mafia wrote:
So how did you pull through? And is your spouse ashley?₲ɛƞɛяɑƖ ₳łɑƌɛɛƞ wrote:
Thanks I thought it would at least be a good read, maybe I can help someone, but I'll just to put up 2 weeks every dayMemphis mafia wrote:
Cool threadGonna go, it's gonna go to beer...I'm a lost cause, I know I am...my dads told me...my moms about to prob, my brother wont let me near his kids, they ask where iv been..no one has the ability to tell them that there uncle is drinking himself into a coma
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Very compelling.
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Wednesday: day 9 isn't it? Why do I number them? They don't feel like days...they feel like hell...
It's breakfast anyways...not much to look at...shitty hospital eggs...and is this oatmeal? How do u fuck up oatmeal?
She still hasnt left...what does she see in me?Lunch: day 9: I'm told I'll be leaving tomorrow morning, she said will stay till then and drive me home and take off of work and help me for a bit...how does she care so much? What does she see? I don't even see what she see's?
Dinner: day 9: well I had fried chicken, my dad brought it...well he didn't bring it in...he met a nurse and told her to give it to me...my own dad can't look at me anymore
He left a card...but it's pure bull shit, so why even write it...it's nothing but lies...he should of bought one more believable..
She still hasn't left..I'm still amazed -
Day 10: Thursday right? Idk I get the days mixed up now...they are just hell anyways...well I'm home for this breakfast entry...but staring at a bill I can't pay...
Lunch: day 10: suicide popped in my head today...then I looked at Ashley, cleaning my appartment...why? It's just gonna get dirty again? Not like I clean, she just looked at me and said...ur healing u need a clean house...Idc if I have to clean it everyday after work, I'll do it
Day 10: dinner time: she asked what I had for food, I pointed to the fridge...it had 3 items...two dirt cheap beers and a half empty thing of ranch, then I pointed at the pantry...a giant pantry...one box of saltines...she gladly ate what I normaly eat...she said it was actually pretty good...idk I was still ashamed...and she poured my beer out...and gave me water...still no cigs...I'm going nuts...may have to pass on beer and just buy cigs
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Day 11: Friday...it's breakfast of course...that's my first entry of the day...I haven't had beer or cigs in days...I'm going nuts...im walking at least...she filled my pantry and fridge with food...I tasted cereal for the first time in idk how long..cereal and milk...that's a luxury for me now? How far down am I?
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Friday: day 11: lunch...she asked me what I wanted for lunch...I said...baby a big fat juicy burger would be amazing... So we went to...what was the name? Idk I can't remember, it was a shake on the square...started with a m...idk fuck it
Dinner day 11: Friday of course...well she asked if she could read my diary tonight..i looked down ashamed but I agreed it's not like u have anything else to hide.
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Day 12: week 2: it's saterday: Ashley asked me to go to church again, I agree'd, she has taken care of me for days...how could I say no?
Lunch: day 12: saterday: we laughed and talked as we ate ate lunch, she's so nice...I love this Girl, I haven't drank in a while, u feel comfortable not drinking
Dinner: day 12: she says she wants to have sex, idk I think we did before I don't remember that night, don't even remember how we met, she hasnt told me...did I write it in the diary? Idk I'll look back...anyways I better stop writing
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Watch out! Ashley is an assassin from the future, she is just trying to get close so she can kill you!!
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Day 13: Sunday: breakfast time, she read my diary after we had sex...she cried...it's like she felt my pain
Day 13: Sunday: lunch: she had to leave, she said she would pick me up and take me to my family gathering, considering u have no gas now...and church was fine
Day 13: dinner: Sunday: it went well actually my family was surprised...I brought home a good women...and I was sober my dad and mom hugged me, I saw my sister and my brother, my brothers kids and my sisters kid also...they said they missed me asked me where I'd been I just said I was busy...the kids never left my side
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Hugh Jass wrote:
Shut up and show some respectWatch out! Ashley is an assassin from the future, she is just trying to get close so she can kill you!!
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