Turf War one giant dysfunctional family
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Distant cousin pyro: always sits at far end of table watching the conversations with a weird smirk on face, sometimes pipes in to put someone in their place, or tell a story from her life. Often invited because of her way with words after a few bottles of cola :p Many are surprised when they find out pyro is a woman when she turns up.
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ʗℝ₳ℤㄚℝㅌⅆℕⅇʗҜ wrote:
Lmao!Brother n law Havoc- always gets blamed or accused after the party is over for his wrongdoings. Always the hardest planner for the reunion. Also works at a potted meat factory. Very predicable when it comes to the covered dish he will bring, it's gonna be spam and lots of it!!!
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OTB - the uncle who you're not quite sure how you're related and to who he is actually related too. But he's been at every function (of worth) since god knows how long and always gets an invite.
Has an encyclopaedic knowledge of alcoholic beverages and cocktails recipes (probably the reason for all the invites).
Especially noted for his use of 'that magic trick' where he separates his thumb into two bits and always on hand to aid in a rescue with one of various items in his pants.
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🎸₩℣ӈɪƖƖßıƖƖγ🎸 wrote:
You're my boy blue!! 😢OneThumbBastard wrote:
I close my eyes, only for a moment and the moments gone.mr71vwbus wrote:
We all are gonna miss that s.o.b.Tweek - first cousin, now removed. He was always the one cussing out whoever took the last of the pie. Telling dirty jokes at the kids table and taking the adults for their change at the family poker game after dinner. Decided he didn't wanna be part of the family after an unknown disagreement. Rode off into the sunset with a toast and a smile.......gonna miss that foul mouthed s.o.b.! 😔
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OneThumbBastard wrote:
"The Man" - the one person you hope shows up so you'll have another adult at the table with whom to converse.
Right back at ya bro! ✊
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Big Jake wrote:
The Great Uncle Man--everybody loves him and wishes he'd come but never does because he doesn't fly.
No more airports!!! 🔥🔥
✊
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Then theres grampa fachan hes sittin at the table trying to look as grouchy as he can. But really all he needs is a full belly and some wrestling on the tube. Hes the guy with the heart of gold, doesnt take shit from anyone but as long as your on his good side your sure to enjoy the night.
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Big Jake wrote:
You're Johnny O's uncle & half brother? 😳Half bro Johnny O- yeah sure he's got more cash, and yeah he sleeps more and yeah he's got the women but Mom that don't mean he's more successful. He's just lucky, that's all.
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PSI some 3rd cousin twice removed that's now in a mental institution. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia & disassociative disorder (multiple personalities).
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thegame add BF wrote:
I age fast! I've gone from being seen as the mom of TW to the grandmother! Lmao! At least I'm not as old as great-grandpa Swagger. 😝ℬeƖƖɑIƗɑƖiɑɳɑ wrote:
😂😂😂Heh, mystery has been called a grandmother 3 times.
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BWS, the nephew that will drive across the country to make a reunion. He's taking time off after college to travel all around the country. He likes to discuss his many road trips.
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I'd love to see a chart now showing how everyone is related to each other, according to this thread.
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Mystery wrote:
Haha, how would you choose parents? Start with nick and Beauty and work your way down?I'd love to see a chart now showing how everyone is related to each other, according to this thread.
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Morgan Freeman wrote:
I try but it is quite bloood-busy work. I will be there next time though 👍Unknown Assassin: the distant cousin you never see, UA usually sends over large cash sums to make up for him not visiting. From what you've heard, he's calm, reasonable, and has a job that pays well. Though no one will ever discuss what that job is…
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Mystery wrote:
What do you mean??? So this is not what everyone else's family tree looks like?? I'm confused....I'd love to see a chart now showing how everyone is related to each other, according to this thread.
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Ϯµཞƒ💀ℒøཞÐ wrote:
You could really just choose any person to start & follow the relationships from there.Mystery wrote:
Haha, how would you choose parents? Start with nick and Beauty and work your way down?I'd love to see a chart now showing how everyone is related to each other, according to this thread.
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Mystery wrote:
You need to be one of the first, maybe Johnny O or swagger as the otherϮµཞƒ💀ℒøཞÐ wrote:
You could really just choose any person to start & follow the relationships from there.Mystery wrote:
Haha, how would you choose parents? Start with nick and Beauty and work your way down?I'd love to see a chart now showing how everyone is related to each other, according to this thread.
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Matt - the intelligent uncle who always has something interesting to say. His work keeps him busy though, so he doesn't often make the reunions. He will call & say "Hi" to everyone when he can't make it though.
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wec wrote:
One of the many, many grandkids. He likes to play rough with his peers. He's got a bad boy image & gets himself into trouble, but actually has a good heart. (He got roughed up a lot by the older kids early on, so now he's passing on the favor to the younger kids.)🌟🌟Mystery-the caring grandma that prepared the food and served every member of the family in the BBQ except Houston haters!🌟🌟
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Cousin gasface- the soldier who you never met because he was killed in battle. Uncle Johnny O always says he went down after taking out 20 other soldiers. Every time Uncle Johnny O cuts his hair cut he goes out with the boys and shoots targets. He says it's to remember gas face.
Cousin Belial- always sulks around in the corner babbling about not wanting to work out. He does jump into every argument he can though
Aunt Mystery- she is always helpful with life issues but unfortunately always sides with the girls. -
ChickenESupply wrote:
ChickenESupply - another grandkid. He likes to discuss his latest sports events at the reunion. He always shows up to grab a bite, but then has to run off to his next event. Someday he'll stick around long enough to discover that the fun lasts all weekend.Grandmother Mystery- the caring one for all the young ones, but can still put up a fight.
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Queen Nicole: she is the sweetheart of the family. As nice as she is beautiful, everyone always anticipates her arrival. Her presence guarantees that drinks will be poured and good times will be shared!
7⃣1⃣🍻🚌
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Mystery wrote:
It's a jacked family, no doubt Gramma. If Viper would've stayed married that first time maybe things would've been different. I'll say this most of the damage was done before I got here.Big Jake wrote:
You're Johnny O's uncle & half brother? 😳Half bro Johnny O- yeah sure he's got more cash, and yeah he sleeps more and yeah he's got the women but Mom that don't mean he's more successful. He's just lucky, that's all.
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PastaKid: The uncle you don't want to see knocking at your door for a thanksgiving dinner. Sort of like uncle Eddie from Cristmas Vacation although a lot more dangerous. Where ever he goes trouble comes with him. Although many people have tried to kill him and his destructive ways, none have succeeded.
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Brother UnknownAssassin: I don't know
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Mystery wrote:
Lol 👍wec wrote:
One of the many, many grandkids. He likes to play rough with his peers. He's got a bad boy image & gets himself into trouble, but actually has a good heart. (He got roughed up a lot by the older kids early on, so now he's passing on the favor to the younger kids.)🌟🌟Mystery-the caring grandma that prepared the food and served every member of the family in the BBQ except Houston haters!🌟🌟
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Brother tattoo🔨🔥💀--one of those late comer because he likes to show off his new 2012 dodge charger and could never find parking since he's so lates so he parks his car blocks away and has to walk to the reunion
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ʗℝ₳ℤㄚℝㅌⅆℕⅇʗҜ wrote:
Mystery wrote:
What do you mean??? So this is not what everyone else's family tree looks like?? I'm confused....I'd love to see a chart now showing how everyone is related to each other, according to this thread.
redneck family trees either dont split or look like there are vines all over it =-)
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Mackmech(addKM) wrote:
😱😱ʗℝ₳ℤㄚℝㅌⅆℕⅇʗҜ wrote:
Mystery wrote:
What do you mean??? So this is not what everyone else's family tree looks like?? I'm confused....I'd love to see a chart now showing how everyone is related to each other, according to this thread.
redneck family trees either dont split or look like there are vines all over it =-)
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Queen Nicole - The hot step sister that has the butterfly tattoo playing peek-a-boo on her lower back. the one you would bang if it wasnt illegal in your state =-O
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