Mr Big Cat Needs You 👇 !!!! Yes ... No open this thread
Forums › General Discussion › Mr Big Cat Needs You 👇 !!!! Yes ... No open this thread-
Listen up fuck nuts, I'm bored.
By opening this thread you have agreed to take personal responsibility and resolve my bored nature.
I require interesting or funny stories. Tales of woe which make me feel better as your lives are shit an mine is fine.
I am currently interested in a number of topics and opinions related to them. Including
1) Vagenda's
2) Jonking
3) Premership and Championship football.Now go ahead and post something I may find interesting. Fear not... If its boring or shit. I will tell u so
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I helped a troll with his planking exploit once. He lay snuggled up between two pine planks and the moon faced smile was a delight for all to see and drew much oohhhs and aaahhhss. Then I sawed the bugger in half.
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This nick bloke has got some fucking cheek...
Posting stuff on turf wars like he owns the place. Saying he gives hench, he makes airports.... Next thing u know he will be taking credit for hospitals and schools being built In your neighbourhood.
Nick, if u read this. Stop taking credit for the game... If it wasnt for me and my vast expertise the game would go to pot
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vishbume wrote:
Why would you saw the poor old chap in half Vish? This seems like a tale of woe...I helped a troll with his planking exploit once. He lay snuggled up between two pine planks and the moon faced smile was a delight for all to see and drew much oohhhs and aaahhhss. Then I sawed the bugger in half.
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Twas woe for him but he gained much wisdom from the caper.But my joy was immense and I couldn't hardly smile for the sweat running into my eyes from such exercise ,Cat.
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Can't help with footie as Scunthorpe is in div1 but the best thing about Scunthorpe is its got c#%t in the middle dam those censors get everywhere
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daveb wrote:
You know what? I never noticed that before. Quality.Can't help with footie as Scunthorpe are in 1st division but the best thing about Scunthorpe is its got c*¥t in it haha
Do people ever just abbreviate it to C*nt?
Like u going shopping in C*nt today?
Or
Crikey, it's well wet in C*nt today. Quite literally pissing down
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vishbume wrote:
Hmmmm I imagine it was a time and effort consuming process. How long would u say the whole thing took... From finding this troll to the inevitable sawing?Twas woe for him but he gained much wisdom from the caper.But my joy was immense and I couldn't hardly smile for the sweat running into my eyes from such exercise ,Cat.
Also was the sawing part of a pre arranged plan?
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Ya some time on the www when trying to but your city In it won't allow you to because they think your taking the piss and it's sc*nt town
haha -
Good to see you taking time out from the 💤 to stroll around your kingdom Mr BC. Thanks for letting us play 👍
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Hmm west brom the best midlands club right now? Traditionally it was villa but they are doing shit and all others are weak....
Just ask because we always discuss the big London and the big Manchester clubs... I feel left out -
My life is shit? Your the dinglberry asking for help curing your Bordem on an iPhone game. Fucking oath, your life sounds bloody wonderful.
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I bought the saw in hope of finding a use for it.... Planks,camera failed to flash the first time, I missed the cut and had to run a new channel... Why, I'd say it must have taken me a goodly 3 hours,Cat! But I worked with a purpose. ( the clean-up course I felt to be my civic duty) haha, now that I think of it, he had a rat-like head but the effect was ruined by his strutting mandible.... You won't appreciate the effect entirely in the photos sadly..... But then again, today is not yesterday.
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nailz wrote:
Your opinion is not as absorbing as you believe.My life is shit? Your the dinglberry asking for help curing your Bordem on an iPhone game. Fucking oath, your life sounds bloody wonderful.
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Welcome to TW nailz. You may want to pop down to your local store and ask the guy at the checkout if he can sell you some aftershave - its a new fragrance called 'scents of humour'
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(ADD:) LURCHER wrote:
BooooyaaaaWelcome to TW nailz. You may want to pop down to your local store and ask the guy at the checkout if he can sell you some aftershave - its a new fragrance called 'scents of humour'
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Ʈℍㅌ ʘㄕㅌℝ₳₮ミℝ wrote:
I haven't given it much thought in honesty but I think u may be right.Hmm west brom the best midlands club right now? Traditionally it was villa but they are doing shit and all others are weak....
Just ask because we always discuss the big London and the big Manchester clubs... I feel left outI always have enjoyed watching Brum play in honesty, albeit a championship club. So I find myself with a little soft spot for them.
Being a Southampton fan I must admit I am happy to see brums form slip.
West Brom are perhaps Having a better season but in the long run I dare say villa will show their class
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(ADD:) LURCHER wrote:
Haha very good!Welcome to TW nailz. You may want to pop down to your local store and ask the guy at the checkout if he can sell you some aftershave - its a new fragrance called 'scents of humour'
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nailz wrote:
Holy Moley... You are right.... This these years I have been wondering.... And them Wham Nailz.... Like a freight train hits me with the truth....My life is shit? Your the dinglberry asking for help curing your Bordem on an iPhone game. Fucking oath, your life sounds bloody wonderful.
I'm lonely .... I just want to be loved. Life is terrible. Why can't I have an existence of the same calibre as Nailz?!?! Why O why.....
Someone put me outta my misery ...
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vishbume wrote:
Incredible... I hate to keep on going on this topic as I am sure the physical exhaustion is still taking its toll but I feel the need for one more question...I bought the saw in hope of finding a use for it.... Planks,camera failed to flash the first time, I missed the cut and had to run a new channel... Why, I'd say it must have taken me a goodly 3 hours,Cat! But I worked with a purpose. ( the clean-up course I felt to be my civic duty) haha, now that I think of it, he had a rat-like head but the effect was ruined by his strutting mandible.... You won't appreciate the effect entirely in the photos sadly..... But then again, today is not yesterday.
What did u do with the saw once The job was complete? I can only presume it was, for want of a better word, fucked?
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BC - u asked for info on others misfortune.... I got to work this morning and was getting changed into my Ronald MacDonald costume (name changed to protect the innocent), when this bloke steps out of the shower (I assume he runs or cycles in), put his shirt on and then shouts '💩' at the top of his voice, 'I've forgotten my trousers'
I larfed big style! Donated to anyone who's day also started badly! -
Vagenda - a classic example.
Gentlemen, I thought I would share a recent example of what can only be discribed as Vintage Vagenda.
My girlfriend is at Uni... And as such hasn't got that much spare cash, all ex students can appreciate this. I on the other hand work full time, earn an okay wage and get by relatively comfortably.
Girlfriend complains due to lack of funds. Moans about not having cash for shit. Can't put fuel in car etc.
Big Cat - has to borrow car to take it to the garage for it to be looked at. Realising the fuel is low, and girlfriend is broke, dutifully fills the tank, buys oil, tops up screen wash etc.
Girlfriend - moans at Big cat... I heard lots of blah blah blah, something about independence and buying own shit as she should... Blah blah
Blah.Vintage Vagenda.
Moral - don't do shit for women
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(ADD:) LURCHER wrote:
Do your research before u speak mate. I've been here a while. Ask around.Welcome to TW nailz. You may want to pop down to your local store and ask the guy at the checkout if he can sell you some aftershave - its a new fragrance called 'scents of humour'
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(ADD:) LURCHER wrote:
Hahaha fantastic effort.BC - u asked for info on others misfortune.... I got to work this morning and was getting changed into my Ronald MacDonald costume (name changed to protect the innocent), when this bloke steps out of the shower (I assume he runs or cycles in), put his shirt on and then shouts '💩' at the top of his voice, 'I've forgotten my trousers'
I larfed big style! Donated to anyone who's day also started badly!I too have experience something similar - for arguments sake we shall say Maddy D's uniform to protect the innocent.
My work mate, outta the shower after cycling to work, full uniform except trousers... Dashing pair of cycling shorts mind u. I did drive him back to his place outta the goodness of my heart to continue my own amusement
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Mr Big Cat wrote:
Lmao. I'd be happy to.nailz wrote:
Holy Moley... You are right.... This these years I have been wondering.... And them Wham Nailz.... Like a freight train hits me with the truth....My life is shit? Your the dinglberry asking for help curing your Bordem on an iPhone game. Fucking oath, your life sounds bloody wonderful.
I'm lonely .... I just want to be loved. Life is terrible. Why can't I have an existence of the same calibre as Nailz?!?! Why O why.....
Someone put me outta my misery ...
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nailz wrote:
In case u didn't know ... He's a pretty big deal around here....(ADD:) LURCHER wrote:
Do your research before u speak mate. I've been here a while. Ask around.Welcome to TW nailz. You may want to pop down to your local store and ask the guy at the checkout if he can sell you some aftershave - its a new fragrance called 'scents of humour'
*cough*
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My tale of woe starts last night. The history behind it is that my 3yo has cut her own hair twice in the past. I thought I had scarred her ( well I had tried anyway ) so she wouldn't do it again.
Last night she wanted to cut some sticky tape to mend a bus she had made out of an old nappy box of her sisters. I helped her with the cutting, well I held the tape and she cut. After she was finished I packed the sticky tape away.
The house was quiet. Too quiet. I went searching, it took 2 laps of the house to find her. In my bed hiding under the quilt. At first I could not see but then I turned on the light and she had cut her hair again. The fringe is gone, she looks like one of the Marx Bros.
I was furious. I screamed and shouted. The bus went in the bin. I was unable to talk to her for 24 hours.
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Mr Big Cat wrote:
Damn crickets! Yes, Cat it was proverbially fucked. Its teeth would have sat proudly in some bloat-head in a freak show. I sold it on EBay as a prototype magnum champagne opener.nailz wrote:
In case u didn't know ... He's a pretty big deal around here....(ADD:) LURCHER wrote:
Do your research before u speak mate. I've been here a while. Ask around.Welcome to TW nailz. You may want to pop down to your local store and ask the guy at the checkout if he can sell you some aftershave - its a new fragrance called 'scents of humour'
*cough*
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Mr Big Cat wrote:
LeTissier was class. Where is he now?Ʈℍㅌ ʘㄕㅌℝ₳₮ミℝ wrote:
I haven't given it much thought in honesty but I think u may be right.Hmm west brom the best midlands club right now? Traditionally it was villa but they are doing shit and all others are weak....
Just ask because we always discuss the big London and the big Manchester clubs... I feel left outI always have enjoyed watching Brum play in honesty, albeit a championship club. So I find myself with a little soft spot for them.
Being a Southampton fan I must admit I am happy to see brums form slip.
West Brom are perhaps Having a better season but in the long run I dare say villa will show their class
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Hyena wrote:
Ha I shouldnt laugh but what a story. 15 years time u will be able 2 have a good laugh over it. If she lasts that long ;-)My tale of woe starts last night. The history behind it is that my 3yo has cut her own hair twice in the past. I thought I had scarred her ( well I had tried anyway ) so she wouldn't do it again.
Last night she wanted to cut some sticky tape to mend a bus she had made out of an old nappy box of her sisters. I helped her with the cutting, well I held the tape and she cut. After she was finished I packed the sticky tape away.
The house was quiet. Too quiet. I went searching, it took 2 laps of the house to find her. In my bed hiding under the quilt. At first I could not see but then I turned on the light and she had cut her hair again. The fringe is gone, she looks like one of the Marx Bros.
I was furious. I screamed and shouted. The bus went in the bin. I was unable to talk to her for 24 hours.
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vishbume wrote:
Being a pundit for Sky Sports. Long live Le GodMr Big Cat wrote:
LeTissier was class. Where is he now?Ʈℍㅌ ʘㄕㅌℝ₳₮ミℝ wrote:
I haven't given it much thought in honesty but I think u may be right.Hmm west brom the best midlands club right now? Traditionally it was villa but they are doing shit and all others are weak....
Just ask because we always discuss the big London and the big Manchester clubs... I feel left outI always have enjoyed watching Brum play in honesty, albeit a championship club. So I find myself with a little soft spot for them.
Being a Southampton fan I must admit I am happy to see brums form slip.
West Brom are perhaps Having a better season but in the long run I dare say villa will show their class
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