Mr Big Cat Needs You 👇 !!!! Yes ... No open this thread
Forums › General Discussion › Mr Big Cat Needs You 👇 !!!! Yes ... No open this thread-
If it makes you feel any better I smashed a stack of 4 beer glasses and cut my hand open lol. That's what you get for saying yes to a shift with an hours notice because some other idiot called in sick, the idiot WITHOUT the gashed hand >:(
-
Mr Big Cat wrote:
Ah, bout time you realised :)nailz wrote:
In case u didn't know ... He's a pretty big deal around here....(ADD:) LURCHER wrote:
Do your research before u speak mate. I've been here a while. Ask around.Welcome to TW nailz. You may want to pop down to your local store and ask the guy at the checkout if he can sell you some aftershave - its a new fragrance called 'scents of humour'
*cough*
-
👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
Ah Mrs G, were it anyone else I would have perhaps enjoyed this story! But being told by someone whom I enjoy reading posts from I find it a sad tale of woe!If it makes you feel any better I smashed a stack of 4 beer glasses and cut my hand open lol. That's what you get for saying yes to a shift with an hours notice because some other idiot called in sick, the idiot WITHOUT the gashed hand >:(
Tell Mr G he needs to spoil u as a result of this gash!!!
Every cloud has a silver lining :)
-
Mr Big Cat wrote:
The last part of this tale of woe is tomorrow is photo day at her pre-school.Hyena wrote:
Ha I shouldnt laugh but what a story. 15 years time u will be able 2 have a good laugh over it. If she lasts that long ;-)Snipped
People have suggested if it occurs again I should just shave it all off, but I don't think the wife would agree.
-
Hyena wrote:
Hahaha mate that's terrible. I think u need to look at this in a slightly different light... Yeah, u have a bad picture from this year....Mr Big Cat wrote:
The last part of this tale of woe is tomorrow is photo day at her pre-school.Hyena wrote:
Ha I shouldnt laugh but what a story. 15 years time u will be able 2 have a good laugh over it. If she lasts that long ;-)Snipped
People have suggested if it occurs again I should just shave it all off, but I don't think the wife would agree.
But u have a life time of leverage as a result... Get copies.... Lots of copies
-
Mr Big Cat wrote:
Ta MBC 😊👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
Ah Mrs G, were it anyone else I would have perhaps enjoyed this story! But being told by someone whom I enjoy reading posts from I find it a sad tale of woe!If it makes you feel any better I smashed a stack of 4 beer glasses and cut my hand open lol. That's what you get for saying yes to a shift with an hours notice because some other idiot called in sick, the idiot WITHOUT the gashed hand >:(
Tell Mr G he needs to spoil u as a result of this gash!!!
Every cloud has a silver lining :)
-
Mr Big Cat wrote:
She will regret her 16th, 18th and 21st birthdays that is for sure.Hyena wrote:
Hahaha mate that's terrible. I think u need to look at this in a slightly different light... Yeah, u have a bad picture from this year....Mr Big Cat wrote:
The last part of this tale of woe is tomorrow is photo day at her pre-school.Hyena wrote:
Ha I shouldnt laugh but what a story. 15 years time u will be able 2 have a good laugh over it. If she lasts that long ;-)Snipped
People have suggested if it occurs again I should just shave it all off, but I don't think the wife would agree.
But u have a life time of leverage as a result... Get copies.... Lots of copies
It is a fathers right to embaress their children and I plan and abusing my rights.
-
👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
Damn that can hurt, but a good scar always gives a good war story. Remember if they weren't there they can't disprove it.If it makes you feel any better I smashed a stack of 4 beer glasses and cut my hand open lol. That's what you get for saying yes to a shift with an hours notice because some other idiot called in sick, the idiot WITHOUT the gashed hand >:(
What I think you meant to say was a knife wielding maniac came in and tried to rob the place. Using your superior skills you rushed to the defence of inebriated customers but before you could disarm him and hold him for the police to arrive you got this small scratch on your hand from the knife. Bravery award is currently in the mail.
-
Hyena wrote:
Yes but I was being modest, a true hero never tells 😏👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
Damn that can hurt, but a good scar always gives a good war story. Remember if they weren't there they can't disprove it.If it makes you feel any better I smashed a stack of 4 beer glasses and cut my hand open lol. That's what you get for saying yes to a shift with an hours notice because some other idiot called in sick, the idiot WITHOUT the gashed hand >:(
What I think you meant to say was a knife wielding maniac came in and tried to rob the place. Using your superior skills you rushed to the defence of inebriated customers but before you could disarm him and hold him for the police to arrive you got this small scratch on your hand from the knife. Bravery award is currently in the mail.
-
👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
Oh and another silver lining, workers compensation. Take a week off for recovery.Hyena wrote:
Yes but I was being modest, a true hero never tells 😏👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
SnippedSnipped
-
Hyena wrote:
I just had a week off for surgery lol I'll get fired if I take more time off 😒👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
Oh and another silver lining, workers compensation. Take a week off for recovery.Hyena wrote:
Yes but I was being modest, a true hero never tells 😏👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
SnippedSnipped
-
👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
Can't fire you for workers comp. Which reminds me of another story for Mr BC.Hyena wrote:
I just had a week off for surgery lol I'll get fired if I take more time off 😒👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
Oh and another silver lining, workers compensation. Take a week off for recovery.Hyena wrote:
Yes but I was being modest, a true hero never tells 😏👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
SnippedSnipped
-
Mr Big Cat wrote:
Fuck nuts?Listen up fuck nuts, I'm bored.
By opening this thread you have agreed to take personal responsibility and resolve my bored nature.
I require interesting or funny stories. Tales of woe which make me feel better as your lives are shit an mine is fine.
I am currently interested in a number of topics and opinions related to them. Including
1) Vagenda's
2) Jonking
3) Premership and Championship football.Now go ahead and post something I may find interesting. Fear not... If its boring or shit. I will tell u so
-
👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
Crickey, u are in the wars!!!Hyena wrote:
I just had a week off for surgery lol I'll get fired if I take more time off 😒👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
Oh and another silver lining, workers compensation. Take a week off for recovery.Hyena wrote:
Yes but I was being modest, a true hero never tells 😏👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
SnippedSnipped
-
♠♥♣♦ wrote:
Don't question the cat, he calls who he wants what he wants when he wants and there's nothing you can do about it lol.Mr Big Cat wrote:
Fuck nuts?Listen up fuck nuts, I'm bored.
By opening this thread you have agreed to take personal responsibility and resolve my bored nature.
I require interesting or funny stories. Tales of woe which make me feel better as your lives are shit an mine is fine.
I am currently interested in a number of topics and opinions related to them. Including
1) Vagenda's
2) Jonking
3) Premership and Championship football.Now go ahead and post something I may find interesting. Fear not... If its boring or shit. I will tell u so
Yaaawwwwnnnnnnn
-
Mr Big Cat wrote:
😹😹😹👍👍👍Vagenda - a classic example.
Gentlemen, I thought I would share a recent example of what can only be discribed as Vintage Vagenda.
My girlfriend is at Uni... And as such hasn't got that much spare cash, all ex students can appreciate this. I on the other hand work full time, earn an okay wage and get by relatively comfortably.
Girlfriend complains due to lack of funds. Moans about not having cash for shit. Can't put fuel in car etc.
Big Cat - has to borrow car to take it to the garage for it to be looked at. Realising the fuel is low, and girlfriend is broke, dutifully fills the tank, buys oil, tops up screen wash etc.
Girlfriend - moans at Big cat... I heard lots of blah blah blah, something about independence and buying own shit as she should... Blah blah
Blah.Vintage Vagenda.
Moral - don't do shit for women
-
I knew a bloke, he was a motor mechanic. His brother was a quadriplegic due to a work accident so with his payout they went into business together doing brakes and clutches. He was a rev head so brought a company car. A Holden commodore ss ute, with all the trimmings and had the shops name painted on it. He also had a everyday run around vehicle. As business was doing well he took on an apprentice.
One day a VIP client came in and dropped off his car. My friend told his apprentice to drop the man off at his work and come straight back.
Hours later the apprentice had not returned. He looked out and saw that the apprentice had taken the V8 ute not the van. They found the car wrapped around a telegraph pole and basically split in 2. Both the customer and the apprentice were badly hurt.
The customer was a lawyer so sued.
-
The apprentice was off for 6 months then came back permitted only to do light duties. Basically the ones his quadriplegic brother was able to do like polish keys. (before people get up in arms (no pun intended) some quadriplegics have limited use of their arms but not full mobility).
As a result he lost his dream car, was sued by his best customer, sacked his brother, his workers comp premium skyrocketed and he still had to work with the apprentice 5 days a week.
-
He stood silently in the shade, his eyes glinting as he scanned the street and everyone in it. A horse and carriage dash past, and he tasted dust for a moment, before it settled again. Sweat trickled down his brow, but he didn't move. A fly buzzed around his ear, he heard the blacksmith's hammer ringing loudly on his anvil two shops down.
For half an hour, he stood motionless, save to light a couple of cigarettes. It was beginning to get dark, when the man he awaited rode sombrely into town. The man dismounted and tied his cat to the rail outside the sheriff's office before walking inside, spurs jingling loudly.
the man looked at the cat. He knew the poor creature was lonely and bored, and he'd been waiting a long time for this opportunity. Grinding out his cigarette, he walked quietly over to it.
"Mr Big Cat? The name's Turfa. Add Turfa. I'm here to save your life." -
👆had a couple grammatical errors and one tense mess-up (used a present tense instead of past tense verb), but it was written on the fly.
Oh, and I dedicate it to Mr BC. 👍✌ -
Fucking Hell H - that's what I'm talking about. Life seems pretty good in comparison to that chap.
Turfa - this sounds like an epic adventure tale
-
Many years ago I worked as a nurse in an old folks home. I had to bring a lovely lady to happened to be half paralysed and very big to the loo. I propped her up and bent down to lower her pantyhose and used my thumb as a hanger for the skirt. I was witness to the deluge and started to gag and with each convulsion my strength sapped out of me till my head was sandwiched between her nethers and toiletbowl. I hadn't the strength to lift her off and had to get her to ring for help. The mother superior came and asked what I was at. Embarrassing .
-
👿ℳℝՏ Ҝⅈʟʟعℝ ₲👿 wrote:
Oh why did you yawn that's not fair it's catching yawnnnnn♠♥♣♦ wrote:
Don't question the cat, he calls who he wants what he wants when he wants and there's nothing you can do about it lol.Mr Big Cat wrote:
Fuck nuts?Listen up fuck nuts, I'm bored.
By opening this thread you have agreed to take personal responsibility and resolve my bored nature.
I require interesting or funny stories. Tales of woe which make me feel better as your lives are shit an mine is fine.
I am currently interested in a number of topics and opinions related to them. Including
1) Vagenda's
2) Jonking
3) Premership and Championship football.Now go ahead and post something I may find interesting. Fear not... If its boring or shit. I will tell u so
Yaaawwwwnnnnnnn
-
Mr Big Cat wrote:
Thankyou sir. Would you like me to work on the second chapter?Fucking Hell H - that's what I'm talking about. Life seems pretty good in comparison to that chap.
Turfa - this sounds like an epic adventure tale
-
Nice post Turfa.
-
Hyena excels yet again.
-
vishbume wrote:
Thankyou. I'm waiting to see if Mr BC would like to hear the second chapter 😉Nice post Turfa.
vishbume wrote:
+1Hyena excels yet again.
-
♠Aⅅⅅ ϮuƦƑ₳♠ wrote:
Next chapter please!vishbume wrote:
Thankyou. I'm waiting to see if Mr BC would like to hear the second chapter 😉Nice post Turfa.
vishbume wrote:
+1Hyena excels yet again.
-
vishbume wrote:
♠Aⅅⅅ ϮuƦƑ₳♠ wrote:
Next chapter please!vishbume wrote:
Thankyou. I'm waiting to see if Mr BC would like to hear the second chapter 😉Nice post Turfa.
vishbume wrote:
+1Hyena excels yet again.
-
Ok. On it .. Should be here in 15-30 minutes lol.
![[][]](https://turfwarsapp.com/img/app/ajax-forbutton.gif)
Purchase Respect Points NEW! · Support · Turf Map · Terms · Privacy
©2021 MeanFreePath LLC