Bringing the humour back
Forums › General Discussion › Bringing the humour back-
Гöлاл wrote:
LolI couldn't stop farting in bed last night, to the point where my Jewish girlfriend had enough and kicked me out to sleep on the couch. "Oh come on", I pleaded, "a bit of gas never killed anyone". Apparently now I'm fucking insensitive as well
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Ʈℍㅌ ʘㄕㅌℝ₳₮ミℝ wrote:
Whoa how did u do tht?!Fans of FuturamaGOOD NEWS EVERYONE, I've invented a device that makes you read this message in your head...with my voice
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Watching porn at night is so inconvenient.I mean how can the difference between mute and 1 bar be so much?!
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Just took the dog for a shit.I don't know why, I usually just bring my iphone
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After a night of drink, drugs & wild sex. Tom woke to find himself next to the ugliest woman he'd ever seen. Thats when he realised he'd made it home safely
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Unrealistic ;
Never an operator is that funny ! 😜 -
I dislike people who stereotype by saying that people who play World Of Warcraft are virgins. I play World Of Warcraft and I'm not a virgin. Mind you, I do work at a morgue.
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A man returns from safari and tells his friend about a narrow escape he had.'I was by the water hole when a lion jumped out at me, so I ran for the tents, says the man. 'It had just about caught up with me when it slipped and i managed to vault over a log. The lion jumped over the log too, but then it slipped and landed on its back. By that time I was almost at the tents and I could see the safari guide with his gun, so i called out and he took aim. But he couldn't fire because the lion was only a few feet behind me. It bounded up at me, then it slipped again, and I had just enough time to duck in the camp before the guide had shot it.' 'Bloody hell,' says the friend. 'If that had happened to me, I'd have crapped myself.''I did' replies the man. 'Why do you think the lion kept slipping.'
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Why did the chocken cross the road........ To get to the other side
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rfn6 wrote:
What's a chocken?Why did the chocken cross the road........ To get to the other side
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😂😂😂
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Ʈℍㅌ ʘㄕㅌℝ₳₮ミℝ wrote:
Nugget n' a buiscuit nugget n' a buiscuit DIP IT ALL IN MASHED POTATOESrfn6 wrote:
What's a chocken?Why did the chocken cross the road........ To get to the other side
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One day, a man breaks out of prison. He goes along the road until he finds a house in the middle of the night. He breaks in and finds a young couple asleep in bed. He ties the man to a chair, the woman to the bed, and kisses her in the neck. Then he goes into the bathroom. The man says to his wife, " Honey, that man is a prisoner. He's probably been locked up for a long time and not seen any women. I saw the way he kissed your neck. If he asks for sex, give it to him. Don't resist, don't hesitate. Be strong honey, I love you."
"Actully," the woman replied to her husband, "he didn't kiss me. He whispered to me. He told me he found you very attractive and asked if there was any Vaseline in the house, so I told him to check the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too." -
Morning Sex - the best way to start your day, unless of course your in prison!
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The last time I saw my grandfather he had all kinds of tubes and wires attached to him. He and my Grandmother are into some kinky shit.
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I went fishing at the weekend and there was this bloke splashing about in the middle of the lake shouting, "I can't swim! I can't swim!""It's alright, mate," I shouted, pointing at a nearby sign, "It says no swimming anyway".
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I said to my doctor, "I've only got a small penis, can you recommend anything?"He said, "Try a fat lass, they're not usually that fussy."
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rodmeyy wrote:
Pissing myself laughingMy wife is a famous porn star, but she would be pissed if she found out!!
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PuppetMaster wrote:
Ford Fairlane rocksQ: Whats the definition of Vagina?
A: It's the box the penis comes in.
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Yesterday my three-year-old son asked me if he could go to the funfair."Yeah, why not?" I said.He's still not back yet - he must be having a great time.
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I was rather drunk one night and as I was walking home from the pub this frog started talking to me. The frog told me it was a lucky frog and if I did as it said I would be extremely wealthy. I told the frog I only had $1. But it told me that was enough. First the frog told me to go to the tracks. We bet on the winner in each race and won every time. Then we went to the casino. First roulette then the jackpot on the ponies. I had never had so much cash but was getting tired so the frog suggested I get a room in the casino. When we got to the room I was so grateful I asked the frog if I could do anything to thank it. The frog asked for just one thing, a kiss.
And that your honor is how a 15 year old girl was found in my hotel room when the cops broke in.
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