Bringing the humour back
Forums › General Discussion › Bringing the humour back-
Didn't help myself in court yesterday.I was arrested for child porn charges and the Judge said, "How does 5-6 years sound?"I said, "Sexy."
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My ex-girlfriend had a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it, I swear you could smell the ocean.
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A man is out walking in the hills when he sees a woman standing on the edge of a cliff. She is very upset and crying loudly. "What are you doing up here?" says the man. "I’m going to kill myself," replied the woman. "Well, before you do, what about letting me fuck you in the ass?" said the man. The woman proceeds to let him fuck her in the ass and it's the best one the guy can remember. "Anyway, why do you want to kill yourself?" asks the man. "Because my family have disowned me for dressing up as a woman."
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Yourplague wrote:
lolA man is out walking in the hills when he sees a woman standing on the edge of a cliff. She is very upset and crying loudly. "What are you doing up here?" says the man. "I’m going to kill myself," replied the woman. "Well, before you do, what about letting me fuck you in the ass?" said the man. The woman proceeds to let him fuck her in the ass and it's the best one the guy can remember. "Anyway, why do you want to kill yourself?" asks the man. "Because my family have disowned me for dressing up as a woman."
coot
hahapix
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Yourplague wrote:
I feel your pain. xDJust as the porn video finishes loading a message appears at the corner of my screen:"Battery low - 5 mins remaining"
Game on.
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YOU wrote:
Nudist wrote:
Who is the most popular man in the nudist colony?
The one who can Carry 2 cups of coffee and 9 doughnuts!!!!Who is the most popular female in the nudist colony?
The one who can eat the last doughnut!!!Ya
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YOU wrote:
Nudist wrote:
Who is the most popular man in the nudist colony?
The one who can Carry 2 cups of coffee and 9 doughnuts!!!!Who is the most popular female in the nudist colony?
The one who can eat the last doughnut!!! -
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
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spacetoast wrote:
ཨཝཔྲ ཨ࿃ཕ།อ པྲབཔ อ࿂ ནཝᏘᎿ?ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
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Hey guys theres something in my pants... Passion🏃🏃🏃(shuffilin)
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Oh yes but it's called 'Accessorize my Hillman Imp' and it's not quite as cool.
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Operator Call me a dr my stomach hurts👏👏👏
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Yourplague wrote:
I love it!My ex-girlfriend had a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it, I swear you could smell the ocean.
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One day, a salesman goes up to Little Johnny's house and rings the doorbell. Johnny answers the door. The salesman asks him, "Hello, little boy. Is your mother available?"
Johnny replied, "No, she's in the shower."
So the salesman asked, "Is your father available?"
Johnny said, "No, he's in the shower too."
"Do you know when they'll be done?"
"Probably not for a while. When my dad asked for the tube of Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead." -
Ʈℍㅌ ʘㄕㅌℝ₳₮ミℝ wrote:
Lol I get it!Personally, I fucking hate Raymond.
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American football is bit like Deal or no deal, if you cut out the crap, it would be over in 15 minutes !!
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I'm thinking about quiting my job and becoming a chav.What are the benefits?
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Sometimes ... when you cry ... no one sees your tears... Sometimes... when you are in pain... no one sees your hurt... Sometimes... when you are worried.... no one sees your stress...Sometimes ... when you are happy ... no one sees your smile ......But try masturbating in Asda car park & see how much fucking attention you get. Can you pick me up from the police station ?
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5 things NOT to say in a gay bar: -
1) Well fuck me!
2) Bottoms up!
3) Can I have a fag?
4) Toss ya for the next round!
5) Can someone push my stool in? -
A boy comes home from school at 7pm, his dad says "Where were you?"
"I was with Jessica" he replies.
" What were you doing?"
"We were revising" he says.
After picking a snack off the table the son says "These fishcakes are lovely". Dad replies "Wash your hands son, they're fucking donuts." -
I was having a full blown threesome with these two dirty bitches at work. The blonde one was taking it up the arse while the black one was licking and slurping on my balls....Then the boss walked in. Needless to say I lost my job at the kennels!
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Q:what's the definition of suspicious?
A: A nun doing push ups in a field of cucumbers.
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Q: Whats the definition of Vagina?
A: It's the box the penis comes in.
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Q: What do you do if you see a black guy driving a sports car?
A: Call the cops.
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Q: What should you do if you hit a Mexican with your car?
A: Stop, put it in reverse and back over him to make sure he's dead.
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Q: What did the blind man who picked up a cheese grater say?
A: "That was the most violent book I've ever read."
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Q: Where does a Mexican hide his money?
A: Under the soap.
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Q: Where does an Ethiopian hide his money?
A: Nowhere, he doesn't have any.
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3 workers are sitting on a steel girder atop a high rise construction at lunch time
Worker 1: If there's one more peanut butter & jelly sandwich in my lunch I swear I'm jumping off
He opens his lunch box, sees a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. He jumps off & plummets to his death
Worker 2: If there's one more ham & cheese sandwich in my lunch I swear I'm gonna jump off too
Again the worker opens his lunch box, sees a ham & cheese sandwich, jumps off & plummets to his death
Worker 3: And If I find one more fucking tunafish sandwich in mine I'm jumping as well!
He opens the lunch box, there's a tunafish sandwich inside and he jumps, plummeting to his death. At the wake, their wives are talking about their untimely deaths
Wife 1: If only I had of known he didn't like peanut butter & jelly!
Wife 2: I don't get it, I thought he liked ham & cheese!
Wife 3: Fucking idiot, he made his own lunch!
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Q: What do you call a Latino with an IPad?
A: A thief.
Q: What do you call a Mexican with a gun?
A: Sir.
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