Ye Guts for Garters Pub
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I'll just have water... 😁
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BROKEN🔔BELLS wrote:
After spilling the whiskey into yourself.I'll just have water... 😁
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That's either a lot of dust or Geoff's got a bigger dandruff problem than we thought...Talk about flake city!
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Blow the dust off the tips of your knobs and drink gentlemen.The ladies may swab their bits in the cubby.
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Is this place still in business? It's been awfully quiet around here.
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TheGoat170 wrote:
DML appears thru the door, barman is pouring the stout before I get to the bar.Is this place still in business? It's been awfully quiet around here.
Vish had him warned; "when he sticks his ugly mug thru the door ya better shtick him on a pint quick smart, hes thirsty this evening".
Aye for sure, and i'll have one of those cuts i can smell grilling out back too. Im formed theres ladies swabbing their bits in the cubby, gotta have a full gut for the task ahead. -
More grog!!
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Round of shots for all, livin' de place up.
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"Who brought their fuckin mot" yelled out across the smoke filled dimly lit bar.
"Arragh ffs relax lad, have a pint".
Stout for all, Tullamore Dew for the drinkers. -
The would-be patron with the untidy tonsure inspected the bar with his eyes heavy-lidded.It was all the more striking when compared to the shocked open-eyed face of the health inspector.The regulars never looked up from their swilling for they were well used to Neddy Vaughan walking in without a stitch below the waistline.Nor would they blink an eye when he gave his bits a fine good rattle.
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Back to the window and face in shadow,Nexx peers into the bar,"Do you serve ice-lollies?".Geoff's large wizened head lifts from the bar,filigreed red tracings across his eyes,lifts the dregs of a glass to his cracked lips but the glass changes tact and is sent hurling into the quickly withdrawing head of the questioner,leaving shattered glass and spittle in its wake.Pulling gently on the hair of a mole under his damp armpit,Geoff looks challengingly at nowhere in particular and croaks,"wrong buck'n place!"
Hand drawing across a greasy fringe,Geoff settles his head down again to resume his vigilant guard. -
Needless to say,Nexx is now a regular at the bar,supping and swilling with the rest.Blame it on Geoff's charisma or the charm of the clientele or maybe both.
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Why am i subtracting money highlighted in red?
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wynbrooke94 wrote:
You owe the house for months now. Pay up or gtfo.Why am i subtracting money highlighted in red?
HBK💔 is working the door tonight and he'll be along any minute. You still here he caps! -
A healthy crowd started to gather, headed up by Mickey Dunn. He stood leaning on the bar, a sweet nip in a half glass in one hand, the other raised in the air to gesture the bar keeps attention.
"DML, Vish, what ya havin'?" he happily questioned as the two boys ventured through the door.
"Turfwarrior is due in any minute, we're wetting the baby's head". Twas the begining of the weekend and a good session lay in store.
Scorpion, thunder dan and Iron Buck soon arrived, we all raised a glass; congrats TW and welcome to the world wee baby 🍻🍻 -
Y'all be quiet over there.
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Hyena wrote:
Maybe I shouldn't have admitted to that..... 👆🏼Ultraviolet wrote:
😿 We tried to disown him... We did ship him to England though....vishbume wrote:
Rolf Harris! Who next I wonder? Just shows how being a celebrity gave them an immunity, hang em high!Strewth,the didgeridoo jokes are already etched onto the toilet walls.
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🍻🍻🍔🍟😻
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What a dusty hole. And the place needs cleaning too.
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The only thing giving off any heat at all is the strawberry yoke protruding from the scullery boy’s pants,from his constant rubbing of it. Electing to sit in the chill,the select patrons reject the chance of the little bit of warmth.
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If u guys want British restaurants and Irish mobster papers u can add me bc it’s my job to begin w thx bye
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The meagre ardour of the lad’s feverish actions command greater,though questionable, interest.
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A stench exhudes from the kitchen.Something exhumed.
Casserole releasing a smog of unwholesome and thrombotic vapours
More negative charge than even a place as receptive as this could stand.From the bowels of the kitchen,a grey faced serving lad brings forth a lettuce sandwich with aplomb. -
July the 14th proved to be the near miss death knell of the dear old Garter so near to our hearts. The unguents provided and administered by Geoff kept more than the bluebottles away it would seem. The developers prance and leap about in abandoned fervour in more exalted places they think. The fools! Life yet throbs in Geoff’s musty y-fronts and regulars yet imbibe though less talkative in this much loved hovel.News doesn’t reach us we hear.”It’s like being cream-pied,teabagged,rim jobbed and pickpocketed all at once and not knowing who did it because your eyes have been jizzed shut”,they say.
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And you know what,they’re right in every sense of the chime. Geoff’s belch,redolent of half ingested egg-pasties,gives their statement worth. His bum eruption seems to decry it. Such is Geoff: a man of contradictions and manifest proneness.
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Or “primness” vouch the ladies plying their wares by the gurgling septic tanks.
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They harp on about carnal wishes to delight in the GD.All an empty vessel but it causes energy to eddy which is a vitalness in itself. Edifying and noshworthy. What a delight of alloyed words prance about between the scrabble boards of the Garter where parched lips are strummed and seduced by the sprinkle of Geoff’s toddy.
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Deicide,between swigs and swills,drops names of targets he’s like to launch his seeds at.Bertha,where her oversized maw,the glass cleaner acts as a safe guard,a filter if you will, against the offending spunk transgressions .
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All are welcome to frequent these haunts and imbibe at their will.Here lies a safe haven.
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💪🏻🤓
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