Every friend I had on tw turned their back on me.
Forums › General Discussion › Every friend I had on tw turned their back on me.-
Well, with the game and people who play, you mad your bed on that one.
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CBT can be helpful. I third that. I've done dialectic behavioral therapy. but my down swings don't last weeks or months. they last hours. I just fuck up my relationships by idealizing and demonizing people. also counter productive.
I've lived my life largely unmedicated. I balance myself with structure and the acceptable insanity of the kitchen. but there are times when a person could use a little help getting the neurotransmitters firing right. there are different solutions as far as meds go these days. with less side effects.
I totally understand how much life sucks feeling inauthentic emotionally, getting artificially fat, and having a hard as fuck time trying to cum. but working with a good psychopharmacologist, there are other drugs on the market that aren't as extreme as lithium or as boring as your run of the mill SSRIs.
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Bugsy✯Siegel wrote:
Yes. What bugsy saidI know I have been critical of you. You need to check into meds. KK said he's a doc. Im a nurse. Tellin you, they are doing a lot with different meds being used for different things. Some patients I take care of you could look at their medication list and never know they have Bipolar bc they are on different groups of meds. A lot of people use anticonvulsants as mood stabilizers. I've heard that they are even trying Gabapentin as a treatment. You said you haven't taken meds in years. You should check into them again. A lot has been done in drug research over past few years.
Also, CBT hasnt shown much effectiveness with BP1. Depression and BPD have shown response to it
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Bottom line, talk to a doctor, get your options, meds, CbT. Meds+CBT. Watever. Just dont sit there in denial!
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I'd much rather do it myself. No risks.
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Sucks that my favorite players have turned on me fully though. Honestly I've been cool and in IMO deserved a little better (DK)
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Bugsy✯Siegel wrote:
Agreed. But for the love of god, do not trust big pharma. They have proven over and over that they will kill you for a fast buck, and many doctors seem to be willfully ignorant of this. Get a professional opinion, then do your own research before swallowing anything. My brother went round and round for years before finding some meds that actually work pretty well. He had the same concerns: intelligent and creative, didn't want to become a zombie. It may take some time, so above all be patient and expect a few setbacks along the way. Trust me, it will be worth it in the end.Im a nurse. You said you haven't taken meds in years. You should check into them again. A lot has been done in drug research over past few years.
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A little story to bring things to light.
Me and my friend both suffered from clinical depression.
It wasn't a fun time. Did some very stupid things, cut, contemplated suicide.
I chose the non medication way out. My friend chose Prozac.
The one thing I'm going to say is it depends on the person. The Prozac knocked her out of it pretty quickly. Me, I did my own cognitive therapy and focused on nothing but finding the little joys in life.
We're both fine now. Survived, lived to see both our sixteenths. But there were side effects.
For me, its the fact that I will slip under back into it. Self-help works, but it takes a long time and a strong will.
The Prozac ruined my friend's kidney. Absolutely wreaked havoc. She's going in for dialysis. And every once in a while, she'll stop being the happy person I know her as and flatline emotionally. And it scares the living hell out of me. -
B, I'm always going to be your friend. And good for you for trying to solve it yourself. But don't be afraid to ask for help. I tried to "self-medicate" myself too. What ended up happening is that I almost slit my wrist in the process.
I'm here for you. That isn't going to change. Keep fighting man. -
What is CBT? I assume it's not the sexual thing I'm thinking of....
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I won't repeat anything I've told you before because frankly, I'm tired of talking in circles. This comes from the bottom of my heart: all you're doing is making excuses. Excuses to not manage this & excuses to not take care of yourself. There are 50 people right here giving you sound advice from their own life experiences. Even the people youve thought for so long don't care about you are even opening their hearts & minds because everyone just wants you to be happy & healthy.
My best friend & her brother are both bipolar. March 27th was 3 years since she attempted suicide. She's fine, but that day is forever etched in my mind. She sent everyone a little goodbye text & told them she loved them. Everyone BUT me because I was the only one with a baby & a family & 1000 more stresses than everyone else in her life, so she actually thought by leaving me out, she was lightening a burden that she would've been putting on me.
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Although it was probably just a cry for help, I don't ever want to go down that road with another friend & especially have it end differently. Anyway, my point was, after she was 5150'd & put on meds, she's like a whole new person & she's been so easy to get along with the past 3 years. She's tons happier, met someone right after the incident, she's getting married this fall. We don't have the ups & downs we used to have all the time anymore.
I just want you to help yourself bc no one can do it for you.
🎀 Bella
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I spent countless hours of my life listening to "woe is me" and told you to seek professional help to no avail. Much like everyone else in this thread, you don't take advice, you just use any means necessary to monopolize peoples attention, usually guilt trips like this bullshit thread, I'm done, I'm a heartless bastard I guess, but I'm a heartless bastard who is accepting the things in life he cannot change, suggest you do the same, I'm out
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Similar scare with another friend this past march & I don't feel like I was really there for her as much as I could have been. I got scared & shut down & I've felt guilty about it since & I know she'll read this, so...I'm sorry.
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Belial, stay strong man. I suffer from dysthymia and I know that life can be a battle. I spent just over a week in a psych ward a few months ago because I O.D.'d on ambien. Be careful what meds you take. They had me on Zoloft for depression, and one of the side effects is increased suicide risk. I'm now also fighting through it w/o mood altering meds. I still take ambien so I can sleep though. Have you looked into alpha-stim scs? It was a life changer for me. Keep your head up.
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David Kruegar wrote:
I agree with you 100%👍I spent countless hours of my life listening to "woe is me" and told you to seek professional help to no avail. Much like everyone else in this thread, you don't take advice, you just use any means necessary to monopolize peoples attention, usually guilt trips like this bullshit thread, I'm done, I'm a heartless bastard I guess, but I'm a heartless bastard who is accepting the things in life he cannot change, suggest you do the same, I'm out
Belial is about being noticed, and is a attention whore. Be done and gone Belial...just go away. This post does nothing but try to garnish pity. To complain about a condition yet do nothing about in here out of all the places is just stupid. Your condition I take to heart due to a death of someone I knew. So your post here and how your just going about doing it yourself is pathetic, and frankly fucking stupid.
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So sorry you have to deal with BP disease. I have two friends whose partners go on and off their meds and it's very difficult for them all. One of them would often say "I don't know if I hate my partner because I am depressed, or I'm depressed because I hate my partner"' which pretty much sums it up. Hang in there, a war game is probably not the best place to make friends! Hope you get back up to a happier plane soon.
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Drugs are bad Reno. The side effects destroy lives. Sorry my quest is to be normal. Not to be crippled by chemicals. I will do what addi said and research however. All I have is my intelligence. It's the only thing about me. To put it in jeopardy is a horrifying thought to me
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I will consider seeing a doctor. That's the best I will give. Admittedly it's getting harder
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Belial wrote:
Good. At least consider it, don't believe anything me or anyone else tells u until you check it out for yourselfI will consider seeing a doctor. That's the best I will give. Admittedly it's getting harder
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At Bella. Thanks for posting. Glad to see you domr hate me. Guess I needed a reminder was all. Hard knowing a mood ruined what was a decent friendship and a good team. At DK. SORRY for our friendship as well. Looks like you're a total loss. Maybe I'll try to fix that one someday too. Well see. I will consider getting help like I said. Those drugs scare me. I've seen them turn intelligent people into uncreative idiots. So I have understandable concerns.
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Belial wrote:
You're an emotional cripple. Work on that first.Drugs are bad Reno. The side effects destroy lives. Sorry my quest is to be normal. Not to be crippled by chemicals. I will do what addi said and research however. All I have is my intelligence. It's the only thing about me. To put it in jeopardy is a horrifying thought to me
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Patsy Killine wrote:
👍👍Belial, my heart goes out to you.
Accolades to you for your awareness of the problem and sharing with us.
KK is actually giving you good feedback. Unless a MD has determined you have drug-resistant BP disorder, you should resume medications.
Thinking you can tackle something this big on your own is actually a classic symptom of mania.
Don't let this disorder control you.
Good luck to you my friend.
❤ Patsy
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🎀BadMammaJamma wrote:
Yeah but a crippled intelligence doesn't seem like a fair trade. Imagine a belial that doesnt understand game systems. That xmat create strategy and that has a crappy memory. Trading likable qualities just to kill off the bad doesn't male senseBelial wrote:
You're an emotional cripple. Work on that first.Drugs are bad Reno. The side effects destroy lives. Sorry my quest is to be normal. Not to be crippled by chemicals. I will do what addi said and research however. All I have is my intelligence. It's the only thing about me. To put it in jeopardy is a horrifying thought to me
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🎀BadMammaJamma wrote:
And hey. I'm good sometimes.Belial wrote:
You're an emotional cripple. Work on that first.Drugs are bad Reno. The side effects destroy lives. Sorry my quest is to be normal. Not to be crippled by chemicals. I will do what addi said and research however. All I have is my intelligence. It's the only thing about me. To put it in jeopardy is a horrifying thought to me
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Here's a really funny joke!
My wife is stressed as a kindergarten teacher, has a special needs kid, and a husband who prefers to sit on his ass playing turfwars.
My wife goes to our family doctor and says she's depressed and life is a struggle, so he prescribes Zoloft.
Months later, she goes back to the doctor and says: "It didn't work. My life still sucks."
So he doubles the dosage.
It would be an awesome joke, but unfortunately it's true.
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I will consider it Bella. I have a lot to lose if it's the wrong choice. I'd rather make an intelligent educated decision on it
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Boohoo another look at me thread. This is the LAST place someone should go if they are serious about helping themselves and changing for the better. But you have no life outside of TW so maybe this was the only option. Either way the help you need is in the REAl world. Try looking there instead of on a phone app game.
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I love you Bella. you should never apologize. you've always been a brilliant friend.
well, for someone who lives 3,700 miles away and I've never actually met. 😜 -
Belial wrote:
Your intelligence is only a part of you, not the whole. There is no point having a rocket scientist brain, if you are not happy with life. Compromise a bit. It's not either smart or zombie - there are many degrees between those extremes.Drugs are bad Reno. The side effects destroy lives. Sorry my quest is to be normal. Not to be crippled by chemicals. I will do what addi said and research however. All I have is my intelligence. It's the only thing about me. To put it in jeopardy is a horrifying thought to me
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