Brainteasers/Jokes
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Mizman102 wrote:
1 yummy mummy in her cayenne?badfish wrote:
Idk who?a man lays dead on the ground with 53 bicycles around him. who killed him?
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A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by 2 female teachers, went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the sporting industry, but mostly to see the horses. When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the gents when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their trousers, and began lifting the little boys up one by one, and held onto their ‘john thomases’ to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, ‘You must be in the 4th.’ ‘No, ma'am,’ he replied, ‘I'm in the 7th, riding Silver Arrow, but thanks for the lift.’ -
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, ‘You must be in the 4th.’ ‘No, ma'am,’ he replied, ‘I'm in the 7th, riding Silver Arrow, but thanks for the lift.’
What's the 7th riding silver arrow? -
Mizman102 wrote:
Horse racer, they are usual very short men lolAs she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, ‘You must be in the 4th.’ ‘No, ma'am,’ he replied, ‘I'm in the 7th, riding Silver Arrow, but thanks for the lift.’
What's the 7th riding silver arrow? -
Mizman102 wrote:
Dudes a horse jockey, usally short men! LOLAs she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, ‘You must be in the 4th.’ ‘No, ma'am,’ he replied, ‘I'm in the 7th, riding Silver Arrow, but thanks for the lift.’
What's the 7th riding silver arrow? -
Ooooohhhhhhhh hahahahahahahaha that's funny!
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Pinz wrote:
Lol!Mizman102 wrote:
Dudes a horse jockey, usally short men! LOLAs she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, ‘You must be in the 4th.’ ‘No, ma'am,’ he replied, ‘I'm in the 7th, riding Silver Arrow, but thanks for the lift.’
What's the 7th riding silver arrow? -
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini Skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket.
As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. -
About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line Picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, Screeching at him, 'How dare you touch my body. I don't even know who you are!'
At this the Texan drawled 'Well ma'am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly twice, I kinda figured that we was friends.' -
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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An old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She spends weeks staring at the cage and, eventually, catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn't get them mixed up again, she puts a little white collar around the male parrot's neck.
Later, the local priest visits the old lady. The male parrot takes one look at the father's collar and says, ‘I see she caught you at it, too.’ -
Pinz wrote:
Good one!An old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She spends weeks staring at the cage and, eventually, catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn't get them mixed up again, she puts a little white collar around the male parrot's neck.
Later, the local priest visits the old lady. The male parrot takes one look at the father's collar and says, ‘I see she caught you at it, too.’ -
Aging Annie was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Joe. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Joe's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.
‘On a woman,’ the doctor said, ‘your heart would be just below your left breast.’
Later that night, Annie was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee. -
Pinz wrote:
BAHAHAHA she has saggy boobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Aging Annie was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Joe. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Joe's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.
‘On a woman,’ the doctor said, ‘your heart would be just below your left breast.’
Later that night, Annie was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee. -
Why does Santa have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year! -
‘I’d like to buy some gloves for my wife,’ the young man says, eyeing the attractive salesgirl, ‘but I don’t know her size.’
‘Will this help?’ she asks sweetly, placing her hand in his.
‘Oh, yes,’ he answers, ‘Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours.’
‘Will there be anything else?’ the salesgirl queries as she wraps the gloves.
‘Now that you mention it,’ he replies, ‘she also needs a bra and panties...’ -
Pinz wrote:
haha, it always seems that more inappropriate jokes seem funnier. :P‘I’d like to buy some gloves for my wife,’ the young man says, eyeing the attractive salesgirl, ‘but I don’t know her size.’
‘Will this help?’ she asks sweetly, placing her hand in his.
‘Oh, yes,’ he answers, ‘Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours.’
‘Will there be anything else?’ the salesgirl queries as she wraps the gloves.
‘Now that you mention it,’ he replies, ‘she also needs a bra and panties...’ -
Aye! They are the best, u got any jokes too? Or shall I continue with the ones I heard and remember :)
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Pinz wrote:
scroll through this! A lot of jokes are mine cause I made thisAye! They are the best, u got any jokes too? Or shall I continue with the ones I heard and remember :)
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A father and son are driving home when they get into a car accident the child is injuired and the father is dead they get to the hospital and the suegen says I can't operate on him he's my son who's the Dr?
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Ur mo wrote:
The boys father. The father in the car was a religious "father".?A father and son are driving home when they get into a car accident the child is injuired and the father is dead they get to the hospital and the suegen says I can't operate on him he's my son who's the Dr?
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Ur mo wrote:
the momA father and son are driving home when they get into a car accident the child is injuired and the father is dead they get to the hospital and the suegen says I can't operate on him he's my son who's the Dr?
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Mizman102 wrote:
LOL! Ur thread I sopose. :) 👍Pinz wrote:
scroll through this! A lot of jokes are mine cause I made thisAye! They are the best, u got any jokes too? Or shall I continue with the ones I heard and remember :)
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Pinz wrote:
Yeah I made it! So it's my forum! DuhhMizman102 wrote:
LOL! Ur thread I sopose. :) 👍 Cause I can't read and don't understand what, "I made this" meansPinz wrote:
scroll through this! A lot of jokes are mine cause I made thisAye! They are the best, u got any jokes too? Or shall I continue with the ones I heard and remember :)
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Mizman102 wrote:
Sarcasm never works on written form LOLPinz wrote:
Yeah I made it! So it's my forum! DuhhMizman102 wrote:
LOL! Ur thread I sopose. :) 👍 Cause I can't read and don't understand what, "I made this" meansPinz wrote:
scroll through this! A lot of jokes are mine cause I made thisAye! They are the best, u got any jokes too? Or shall I continue with the ones I heard and remember :)
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Pinz wrote:
Who are you kidding? It always works!Mizman102 wrote:
Sarcasm never works on written form LOL.... FailPinz wrote:
Yeah I made it! So it's my forum! DuhhMizman102 wrote:
LOL! Ur thread I sopose. :) 👍 Cause I can't read and don't understand what, "I made this" meansPinz wrote:
scroll through this! A lot of jokes are mine cause I made thisAye! They are the best, u got any jokes too? Or shall I continue with the ones I heard and remember :)
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Four nuns are killed in a car accident and arrive at the Gates of Heaven.
They line up in front of St Peter.
The first nun says ‘St Peter, I once saw a man's penis. May I still enter?’ St Peter replies ‘Wash your eyes in this font of holy water and proceed.’
The second nun says ‘St Peter, I once touched a man's penis. May I still enter?’ St Peter replies ‘Wash your hands in this font of holy water and proceed.’
St Peter suddenly notices a scuffle between the last two nuns.
The fourth nun is trying to cut in front of the third nun.
‘What is going on?’ he asks the fourth nun. ‘I'm trying to go first so I can wash my mouth out before she sticks her arse in the font.’ -
Pinz wrote:
BahahahahahaFour nuns are killed in a car accident and arrive at the Gates of Heaven.
They line up in front of St Peter.
The first nun says ‘St Peter, I once saw a man's penis. May I still enter?’ St Peter replies ‘Wash your eyes in this font of holy water and proceed.’
The second nun says ‘St Peter, I once touched a man's penis. May I still enter?’ St Peter replies ‘Wash your hands in this font of holy water and proceed.’
St Peter suddenly notices a scuffle between the last two nuns.
The fourth nun is trying to cut in front of the third nun.
‘What is going on?’ he asks the fourth nun. ‘I'm trying to go first so I can wash my mouth out before she sticks her arse in the font.’ -
An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Darling, etc…
The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over to his host, ‘I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names’.
The old man hung his head, sighed and said ‘I have to tell you the truth, her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask the old bitch what it is...’
A certified PINZ joke 2011 lol -
Wow hahaha dumb old peolple
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