Daily Joke :)
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I will update this everyday hence the name :
I just walked into my son's bedroom to find him performing a horrific homosexual act.He was sat there reading Twilight.
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Lol. I just told my wife the joke and she's like"WHAT". I told her the punch line and she just groaned. Hahaha
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XD haha I can imagine
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Good, But I hope To see improvement in The next days!!!
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iamcanadian wrote:
No pressure.... O.oGood, But I hope To see improvement in The next days!!!
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This may not be homosexual as he may have said "No homo" before reading the book.
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Angel of Blades wrote:
👆This may not be homosexual as he may have said "No homo" before reading the book.
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Angel of Blades wrote:
You killed it. Horribly. -__-This may not be homosexual as he may have said "No homo" before reading the book.
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Neko wrote:
LOL!Angel of Blades wrote:
You killed it. Horribly. -__-This may not be homosexual as he may have said "No homo" before reading the book.
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Sickipedia joke?
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Why did god create yeast infections.
So women would know what it's Like to live with an annoying c***
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what's the best way to pull a fat bird.......with a tractor!
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Lol, yeah from sikipedia I'm just gona pick random jokes I hear or see :) btw troggy xD
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Angel of Blades wrote:
LMAO!! Nice one!This may not be homosexual as he may have said "No homo" before reading the book.
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A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology that was explaining the phenomenon of mixed emotions. The husband turned to his wife and said, 'Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.
She said 'Out of all your friends, you have the biggest penis.'
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Pinz wrote:
Wicked XdA husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology that was explaining the phenomenon of mixed emotions. The husband turned to his wife and said, 'Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.
She said 'Out of all your friends, you have the biggest penis.'
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One day a boy comes home from school and says, ‘Dad, I really need to know
the meaning of hypothetically and realistically for school.’
The father replies, ‘Go ask your mother if she would sleep with another man for
1 million dollars.’ The little boy goes and asks and sure enough she says yes.
His dad says, ‘Ok now go ask your sister if she would sleep with a man for a million dollars.’ He does and sure enough she says yes. The father says, ‘You see son, hypothetically we are sitting on 2 million dollars but realistically we are
living with a couple of whores.’ -
Pinz wrote:
That was funny. I LOL'd so hard at this...A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology that was explaining the phenomenon of mixed emotions. The husband turned to his wife and said, 'Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.
She said 'Out of all your friends, you have the biggest penis.'
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Pinz wrote:
LMAOOne day a boy comes home from school and says, ‘Dad, I really need to know
the meaning of hypothetically and realistically for school.’
The father replies, ‘Go ask your mother if she would sleep with another man for
1 million dollars.’ The little boy goes and asks and sure enough she says yes.
His dad says, ‘Ok now go ask your sister if she would sleep with a man for a million dollars.’ He does and sure enough she says yes. The father says, ‘You see son, hypothetically we are sitting on 2 million dollars but realistically we are
living with a couple of whores.’ -
Pinz wrote:
Hahaha XDOne day a boy comes home from school and says, ‘Dad, I really need to know
the meaning of hypothetically and realistically for school.’
The father replies, ‘Go ask your mother if she would sleep with another man for
1 million dollars.’ The little boy goes and asks and sure enough she says yes.
His dad says, ‘Ok now go ask your sister if she would sleep with a man for a million dollars.’ He does and sure enough she says yes. The father says, ‘You see son, hypothetically we are sitting on 2 million dollars but realistically we are
living with a couple of whores.’ -
Pinz wrote:
Lol, nice oneOne day a boy comes home from school and says, ‘Dad, I really need to know
the meaning of hypothetically and realistically for school.’
The father replies, ‘Go ask your mother if she would sleep with another man for
1 million dollars.’ The little boy goes and asks and sure enough she says yes.
His dad says, ‘Ok now go ask your sister if she would sleep with a man for a million dollars.’ He does and sure enough she says yes. The father says, ‘You see son, hypothetically we are sitting on 2 million dollars but realistically we are
living with a couple of whores.’ -
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, ‘Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?’
The mother says, ‘It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings.’
The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, ‘Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant-- about 4 months, would be my guess.’
The mother says, ‘Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Darla?’
Darla says, ‘No mother! I've never even kissed a man!’
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, ‘Is there something wrong out there doctor?’
The doctor replies, ‘No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be damned if I'm going to miss it this time!’ -
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, ‘Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.’
She replies, ‘If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436.’ -
I realize this will go over some of your heads, but I'll give it a try anyway. Kids, these are Freudian terms.
I actually made this one up myself. :)
What do you get when you mix an anal retentive with an anal expulsive?
An anal repulsive -
troggy wrote:
+1Pinz wrote:
Lol, nice oneOne day a boy comes home from school and says, ‘Dad, I really need to know
the meaning of hypothetically and realistically for school.’
The father replies, ‘Go ask your mother if she would sleep with another man for
1 million dollars.’ The little boy goes and asks and sure enough she says yes.
His dad says, ‘Ok now go ask your sister if she would sleep with a man for a million dollars.’ He does and sure enough she says yes. The father says, ‘You see son, hypothetically we are sitting on 2 million dollars but realistically we are
living with a couple of whores.’ -
Neko wrote:
Angel of Blades wrote:
You killed it. Horribly. -__-This may not be homosexual as he may have said "No homo" before reading the book.
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A blonde woman named Britney finds herself in dire trouble.
Her business has gone bust and she’s in serious financial straits.
She’s so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.
She begins to pray... ‘God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto.’
Lotto night comes and she does not win.
Britney again prays... ‘God, please let me win the lotto! I’ve lost my business, my house and now I’m going to lose my car.’
Lotto night comes and Britney still has no luck.
Once again, she prays... ‘Dear Lord, why have you forsaken me?? I’ve lost my business, my house, my car. My children are starving. I don’t often ask for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order.’
Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Britney is confronted by the voice of God himself.‘Britney, work with me on this. Buy a ticket.’ -
Pinz wrote:
BAHAHAHAHAA man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, ‘Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.’
She replies, ‘If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436.’ -
A hunter spots a small brown bear and shoots it. He then feels a tap on his shoulder, turns around, and is face to face with a big black bear. ‘You’ve got two choices,’ says the bear. ‘I maul you, or we have sex.’
The guy opts to take it from the bear. After recovering for two weeks, the pissed-off hunter searches out and shoots the big black bear. Just then he feels another tap on his shoulder, and turns to see a 10-foot grizzly standing over him.
‘Admit it,’ says the bear. ‘You don’t come here for the hunting, do you?’ -
My mum thought LOL meant lots of love.
The other day I received a text saying your grandma just dyed LOL. -
DJHazzer. wrote:
LolMy mum thought LOL meant lots of love.
The other day I received a text saying your grandma just dyed LOL.
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