Daily Joke :)
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Two guys walk into a bar... The second one should have seen it comin'.
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[]D[][]V[][]D™ wrote:
................................Two guys walk into a bar... The second one should have seen it comin'.
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one day HapticGamer decided to make a post called Daily Joke stating how they'll post a new joke every day...
...the thread was soon enough swarmed with puns and punchlines
may this thread RIP
;P
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A dog is truly a man's best friend.If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour.When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
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matty two thumb wrote:
ROFLMFAOOL XD OMFG I GOTTA TRY THIS WHEN I GET MARRIED N WANNA DIVORCE XDA dog is truly a man's best friend.If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour.When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
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'What it really means' :
‘I'm going fishing.’ Really means... ‘I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.’
‘I missed you.’ Really means.... ‘I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper.’
‘Uh huh,’ ‘Sure, honey,’ or ‘Yes, dear.’ Really mean.... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.
‘I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind.’ Really means.... ‘I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra.’
‘Have you lost weight?’ Really means.... ‘I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill.’
‘Take a break, honey, you're working too hard.’ Really means.... ‘I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.’
‘What did I do this time?’ Really means.... ‘What did you catch me at?’
‘Let's take your car.’ Really means.... ‘Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.’ -
Primo Loco wrote:
He'll bust some jokes soon enough😄one day HapticGamer decided to make a post called Daily Joke stating how they'll post a new joke every day...
...the thread was soon enough swarmed with puns and punchlines
may this thread RIP
;P
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Pinz wrote:
Yeahh sorry I have been studying for my English exam tomorrow morning haven't had time to update it but pinz has done an amazing job at keeping the thread alive thanks a lot :D I will start posting again tomorrow after school lolPrimo Loco wrote:
He'll bust some jokes soon enough😄one day HapticGamer decided to make a post called Daily Joke stating how they'll post a new joke every day...
...the thread was soon enough swarmed with puns and punchlines
may this thread RIP
;P
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[]D[][]V[][]D™ wrote:
Nobody ever gets this when I tell them this!Two guys walk into a bar... The second one should have seen it comin'.
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My girlfriend was in labor with our first child.
She was shouting out ‘get this out of me? Give me the drugs.’ She looked at me and said, ‘You did this to me you bastard!’ I casually replied, ‘If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, ‘it'll be too painful.’ -
[]D[][]V[][]D™ wrote:
Some 2 liner jokes have such simple yet humourous punch lines.Two guys walk into a bar... The second one should have seen it comin'.
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A horse walks in to a bar and sits down, barman asks, why the long face.
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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse,’ he mumbles, from behind the mask ‘Are my testicles black?’
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, ’I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body.’
He struggles to ask again, ‘Nurse, are my testicles black?’
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around and around gently. Then, she takes a close look and says, ‘No sir, they aren’t and I assure you, there’s nothing wrong with them, Sir !!’
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The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, ‘Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely…..
‘ A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – b a c k ?’…..
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HapticGamer wrote:
That was good 😺😺The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, ‘Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely…..
‘ A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – b a c k ?’…..
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DJHazzer. wrote:
Really funnyHapticGamer wrote:
That was good 😺😺The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, ‘Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely…..
‘ A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – b a c k ?’…..
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What the difference between futurama and JLS?theres only one bender in futurama.
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A priest,a pervert and a paedo walk into a bar.he orders a drink.
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A man gets a text at work from his wife it says
'thespacebuttononmyphone
Isbrokenwhenyougethome
Pleasegivemeanalternative'
As The man eagerly rushed home he wondered 'what the
Hell does 'ternative' mean? -
Micheal jacksons this is it is rated PG.even when he's dead he can't be trusted alone with children.
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So Stephen hawking says god doesn't exist.
If I was god then I'd be really angry at Stephen.if I was god I would maybe go back in time and punish Stephen in some horrible horrible way.
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The jokes I just told are from me the original DJHazzer not the one who did the earlier joke and is Dom jones and is about level 10
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DJHazzer wrote:
JLS are goodWhat the difference between futurama and JLS?theres only one bender in futurama.
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DJHazzer wrote:
My Jokes are so much better than yours -.-The jokes I just told are from me the original DJHazzer not the one who did the earlier joke and is Dom jones and is about level 10
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DJHazzer/'s who's who?
Am I missing something? -
Pinz wrote:
DJHazzer/'s who's who?
Am I missing something? -
Pinz wrote:
Remember domjonesxd?well he changed his name to DJHazzer.if you look theres a full stop after his name and he's low level.me(the one who just did those 4 jokes)am the original DJHazzer and am level 33DJHazzer/'s who's who?
Am I missing something? -
DJHazzer wrote:
Ahhh now I see :)Pinz wrote:
Remember domjonesxd?well he changed his name to DJHazzer.if you look theres a full stop after his name and he's low level.me(the one who just did those 4 jokes)am the original DJHazzer and am level 33DJHazzer/'s who's who?
Am I missing something? -
JUSTIN: mom i think i finally hit puberty
MOM: really? how do u know?
JUSTIN: I’m bleeding from my vagina. -
HapticGamer wrote:
My jokes are the ones way better than hisDJHazzer wrote:
Ahhh now I see :)Pinz wrote:
Remember domjonesxd?well he changed his name to DJHazzer.if you look theres a full stop after his name and he's low level.me(the one who just did those 4 jokes)am the original DJHazzer and am level 33DJHazzer/'s who's who?
Am I missing something?
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