The Exploits of Cleveland Slim Down Under
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Breaking News: Early reports indicate that a spectacular caper has just taken place in Australia. Undisclosed informants have told us that the prime suspect at this moment is the notorious bandit Cleveland Slim. More to come as new details filter in. Stay tuned...
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Here we go again...
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Last we heard from the notorious bandit, he had taken on BAIC single handedly and lived to tell the tale. Since that famous sit down he had with Lucky Pierre, the slim outlaw had appeared to be living life on the straight and narrow. But if the whispering turns out to be true, that has been anything but the case. If these rumors are confirmed, we will be the first to report the story.
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Popcorn anyone?🍻😋
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STRΛTΘSPHΣRΣ wrote:
Ugh, I had too much from the last one.Popcorn anyone?🍻😋
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exploits down under, i love it 😂
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yomama1064 wrote:
By all accounts, it maybe a hairy situation.exploits down under, i love it 😂
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Cheers for your few turfs 👍
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ᎠᎬᎪᎠᏞᎽ ⚒ D M L wrote:
👏😂.yomama1064 wrote:
By all accounts, it maybe a hairy situation.exploits down under, i love it 😂
Could get sticky. -
Visɧɓuɱe wrote:
he might find himself in deep shit if he isnt careful...ᎠᎬᎪᎠᏞᎽ ⚒ D M L wrote:
👏😂.yomama1064 wrote:
By all accounts, it maybe a hairy situation.exploits down under, i love it 😂
Could get sticky. -
Oh, this.
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yomama1064 wrote:
He's hiding out in the wrong hole.Visɧɓuɱe wrote:
he might find himself in deep shit if he isnt careful...ᎠᎬᎪᎠᏞᎽ ⚒ D M L wrote:
👏😂.yomama1064 wrote:
By all accounts, it maybe a hairy situation.exploits down under, i love it 😂
Could get sticky. -
Visɧɓuɱe wrote:
Beaver?....what beaver?yomama1064 wrote:
He's hiding out in the wrong hole.Visɧɓuɱe wrote:
he might find himself in deep shit if he isnt careful...ᎠᎬᎪᎠᏞᎽ ⚒ D M L wrote:
👏😂.yomama1064 wrote:
By all accounts, it maybe a hairy situation.exploits down under, i love it 😂
Could get sticky. -
Moose, it's no beaver. That's a damn wallaby.
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Ｃｏｐｐｅｒ Ｔｏｐ wrote:
A wannabe?Moose, it's no beaver. That's a damn wallaby.
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Visɧɓuɱe wrote:
🎶"If you wannabe my lover you gotta get with my friends.🎶Ｃｏｐｐｅｒ Ｔｏｐ wrote:
A wannabe?Moose, it's no beaver. That's a damn wallaby.
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fizzyfuzzy~ωѧя wrote:
I tell you what I want what I really really wantVisɧɓuɱe wrote:
🎶"If you wannabe my lover you gotta get with my friends.🎶Ｃｏｐｐｅｒ Ｔｏｐ wrote:
A wannabe?Moose, it's no beaver. That's a damn wallaby.
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We have confirmed more information on this breaking story: Here2Tease has seen her turf laid to waste and numerous eyewitnesses have identified the notorious Cleveland Slim as the culprit behind this carnage. While we are still trying to figure out more about the motive and who this victim is, we have established that Here2Tease is the wife of a gangster that goes by the name Batista. Our reporter was able to catch up with Batista to get his initial reaction.
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Batista: "I have no idea who this guy is or what happened. I was just doing my thing and found out from the local cop Toretto that this guy was just completely destroying my wife. I figured he just didn't know who he was messing with so I sent him a note and told him to stop capping her, you know. And I even added a bunch of emoticon fists like we do, cuz that always works. But this guy just kept on capping. I just couldn't understand, it was almost as if he wasn't even scared of me. And I'm big and very important. It was sad what happened to my wife and all, but I just couldn't believe he wasn't scared of me." interview ends as Batista breaks down in tears.
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Could it be, the world's favorite bandit, Cleveland Slim, has dared to upset a leading figure in one of TW's most feared alliances? Wasn't surviving his run in with BAIC enough? How will CAPO respond to this outrage? Stay tuned as the story unfolds...
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〓TAZ〓 wrote:
😂😂👏🍻fizzyfuzzy~ωѧя wrote:
I tell you what I want what I really really wantVisɧɓuɱe wrote:
🎶"If you wannabe my lover you gotta get with my friends.🎶Ｃｏｐｐｅｒ Ｔｏｐ wrote:
A wannabe?Moose, it's no beaver. That's a damn wallaby.
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Ｃｏｐｐｅｒ Ｔｏｐ wrote:
Watch me wallabies feed, mateMoose, it's no beaver. That's a damn wallaby.
Watch me wallabies feed,
They're a dangerous breed, mate
So watch me wallabies feed
Altogeth -
LIVE REPORT!!!! Our reporter was able to catch up with Toretto, let's cut to the interview now:
Reporter: "Toretto, Toretto, is it true you actually pulled over the infamous bandit Cleveland Slim and let him get away?"
Toretto: "Well that's not exactly how I would describe it. I witnessed some suspicious activity and pulled him over for questioning, but he was clean."
Reporter: "Why did you pull him over then?"
Toretto: "There was this new guy planting turf all over Sydney and beyond, and when I looked at his record, I noticed he had been evicted from Australia before after looting huge sums of money from our good citizens. But the guy is just so charming, I mean he's immaculate, handsome, polite, charming, a real gentleman. As I checked further into his record, I saw he didn't have a single turf that he hadn't built himself. Not a single one. So I told him not to cause trouble and to leave the good citizens of Sydney alone. Truthfully, I almost considered asking him out for a drink." -
Reporter: "So he lied to you?"
Toretto: "I mean yes and no. I mean, is your recorder on, is this for the record? Um, let's just say this, we respect Here2Tease because she's Batista's wife. You know what I mean? Batista after all is our national expectorating champion." -
Reporter: "You're a cop right. You shouldn't be cavorting with gangsters like Batista should you?"
Toretto: "We here in Australia value our sports heroes."
Reporter: looking a bit curiously at Toretto's expensive wardrobe, a bit too expensive for a cop to afford "Are you sure there is nothing else involved here?"
Toretto: "Listen, the guy is burly and brawny and has lots of hair. I like him, that's all there is to it. Plus have you seen his biceps?" -
No one quite understood why Batista took a liking the comely, petite, woman with a foul mouth. Before Batista came along, only Here2tease's parents seemed to be able to put up with her. In fact she was and had always been there little princess. She could no wrong. Some speculated that might be why she had become such a spoiled, ill mannered brat. She never had many friends, and had never been able to keep a boyfriend for long before Batista came along. But she had developed a unique talent to make up for her miserable personality. And that had seem to make her at least temporarily popular with many of the boys.
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But Batista was no ordinary boy, he was the national spitting champion, and I am sure as my dear readers understand, opposites attract. Let's just say Here2tease was not a spitter. In fact, if there had been such a thing, she surely would have been a national champion swallower.
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Dude, you're going to talk about someone's wife like that?
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NEWS ITEM: We here in the TW newsroom have been frantically been trying to find out more about the victim of this horrific and audacious crime by the notorious bandit, Cleveland Slim. Who is this woman who the Slim gangster has so thoroughly devastated in his ruthless and cunning attacks? Our reporter on the scene has been working to find out who this poor woman is. Let's here from his in this live interview from the streets of Sydney:
Reporter: Hello dear readers, I am here live with the owner of the baguette shop who has asked that we do not use her name. Can you tell us about Here2tease, what's she like?
Shop Owner: Of course, she's Batista's wife. Oh isn't he dreamy. That man must eat 5 dozen eggs for breakfast. He's built like a barge. The day he was married, a lot of women in Sydney cried.
Reporter: Yes, I understand, but can you tell us more about who Here2tease is? -
Shop Owner: Well, out of our respect for Batista, we try not to talk about her much. I mean, he does seem to like her. Let's just say she's an odd sort, and she didn't seem to have many friends before Batista took a liking to her.
Reporter: What do you mean odd?
Shop Owner: Well, um, how should I say this? Let me put it this way, she liked to put up strange messages on the walls around town, you know, I guess it's what the kids these days call graffiti.
Reporter: What kind of messages?
Shop Owner: Judging from the stuff I had to scrub off my shop's walls, she seemed to have what I might call an oral fixation.
Reporter: Can you give us some examples?
Shop Owner: Well gosh that is a bit awkward, but if you must know, the messages had to do primarily with male genitalia and bodily fluids and the consumption thereof.
Live feed cuts off, "This station is currently undergoing technical difficulties" -
U must be one bored mutha Fuka cs....
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