The Exploits of Cleveland Slim Down Under
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A pall of silence hung over the world of Turf Wars, could this be it for the beloved and notorious bandit Cleveland Slim? Had he gone too far this time? Why didn't he just go home, do his missions, build a turf here and there, and retire with a mound of cash? While most gangsters would have been content with that fate, Cleveland Slim appears to play the game by a different set of rules.
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Cleveland slim is looking slimmer 😉
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New Update: Reporting live from Sidney, it's been a day of activity as gangsters from around the world gather for the hunt for Cleveland Slim. CAPO has begun its onslaught, seeking to destroy the notorious bandit's turf across the entire continent of Australia and beyond. Other veterans of the last hunt to destroy Cleveland Slim, such as Roger That and Razor's Edge, have been spotted as CAPO amasses a small army to go after the world's favorite villain. Popeye, Duair, Toretto, Vinnie Malone, The Johnson Family, Opus, Keyser, IpodGuy, Hercules, Lawn, WiseStanlee, and many others have been mobilizing to destroy the man who shows know fear. In the midst of the huge mobilization, Cleveland Slim managed to pull off an incredible stunt and continue capping Here2Tease, even under the watchful and protective eye of her hulking husband Batista. The world has again, turned upside down.
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Here2Tease gradually woke from her dope fueled slumber, the needle still stuck in her arm as she heard her husband barking orders to his men. As she saw her past laid out in front of her in shambles, she hurled invectives against the air. But as her anger subsided, she began to laugh, uncontrollably, for the first time in years. It was him, he had come back.
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Lol only a game and only circles any mainly it's all fun 😃
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NEWS ALERT!!!! This just in, belying what everyone believed about him, in his hunt for Cleveland Slim, Razor's Edge just built four turf and named them: 01, 02, 03, and 04. We sent a reporter to talk to his Mom.
Reporter: Did you know you son could count that high?
Mom: In spite of what everyone has thought and said, I always knew my son was sharp. -
Ya gotta admit slim does tell a good story , much like teddy Ruxpin 🐻 but better
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It's just boring.A narcissist.
The high point of the thread being a Spice girls' song. -
Visɧɓuɱe wrote:
😂😂😂😂😂 It's funny because it's true😂😂😂😂😂It's just boring.A narcissist.
The high point of the thread being a Spice girls' song. -
Visɧɓuɱe wrote:
What about the low point of being 'down under'? 😂😂😂😂It's just boring.A narcissist.
The high point of the thread being a Spice girls' song. -
THIS JUST IN!!!! While central Sydney has been crawling with CAPO supporters joining in on the hunt against the notorious Cleveland Slim, our the world's favorite gangster has somehow done the impossible. He has torn down here2tease's turf in the heart of Capo's headquarters. Can anyone stop this marauder?
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News Update: While CAPO has taken the war against Cleveland Slim worldwide, it appears to be backfiring as the number of turf he owns in Australia just keeps growing. La Tortuga appears to be munching up Slim's Washington, DC turf like lettuce in an unguarded garden. But in an odd twist, he also appears to have feasted on here2tease's last turf off of the grand island continent.
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With the exception of his daring raid into the center of Sydney, Cleveland Slim appears to have done what all good bandits do, take to the hills and back country. Capo gangsters are struggling to keep up as they huff away chasing his trail. While built like a barge, Batista has not fared well with his endurance. Undisclosed sources have told us that he appears to be in an unusual funk. As SnoopDog might say, ShizzyMac has been fo' shizzle. He's been one of the few that can keep up with the notorious bandit's rapid pace who was last seen headed towards Upper Kangaroo Valley. Is the rizzle dizzle gonna fizzle? Fo shizzle my bizzle.
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As Cleveland Slim had boarded a ship leaving Sydney, stood on the deck admiring the city before the boat set sail, here2tease hurled insults at him from the dock below. The Slim bandit smiled back and blew her a kiss promising to return just for her someday.
Slim admired the young woman, in fact he admired anyone who pursued their own desires without concern for the petty morality of everyday people. The woman knew what she wanted, and Slim could attest, she was a talent. While their desires overlapped, they did not coincide, and seeing the tall poppy leave her left here2tease in a state of rage -- her visions for escape from the provincial world around her dashed. Yes, she had won the heart of Batista, but she wanted so much more.
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Views on the News:
Today we have in studio the esteemed TW expert, Vishbume to comment on the notorious Cleveland Slim's latest escapades.
Host: Vishbume, what do you make of the people's love for the notorious bandit Cleveland Slim?
Vishbume: It's just boring. He's a narcissist.
Host: Could it be that you just have tall poppy syndrome?Disliking the perceived slight, Vishbume grabbed for his walking stick,a thing that could help sway an argument,help change an opinion,expedite quicker service,or evince a forced empathy or belligerence."Go paint yonder fruit seller's banana.Now, Stand aside or we hop on your head."
Interview ends
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This Justin? Where's that Justin?
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News Flash! This note just found outside the wreckage of a torn down turf on the outskirts of Sidney. It is believed the note come's from the notorious Cleveland Slim: "Here lie the smoldering remains of oppression. I have liberated here2tease of one of the vestiges of her past today. Batista tried the best he could to keep his wife in the bonds of matrimony and petty morality. Let these ashes be a symbol of his failure. Rise up ye brethren and break free of your shackles- a new day is coming!"
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Visɧɓuɱe wrote:
It's just boring.A narcissist.
The high point of the thread being a Spice girls' song. -
Batista couldn't believe it, he has always been the big man in town. He was the most handsome, the strongest, and he had a wife with amazing talents. How dare this two bit gangster come into his town and make a fool out of him! Who was this man who seemed to live without fear? Batista gathered his henchmen in the CAPO clubhouse and slammed his fist on the wooden table -- "I don't care what you do, get this Cleveland Slim and bring me his head on a platter!"
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Opus knew who Cleveland Slim was, in fact as a young child his mother had read him the stories of the exploits of this notorious bandit every night as he lay his head down on the pillow. As his eyes closed, he dreamed someday he could be like his favorite bandit, Cleveland Slim. His days at school were not so fun, as the boys, led by Batista, bullied him and teased him for being short and walking with a little waddle. In these awful moments, in the back of his mind, he always thought, "someday Cleveland Slim will teach you a lesson." But as he grew older, he fell in with the gang in what seemed to be his only choice. Everyday he felt like a piece of him was dying until he became numb to is own suffering. Just as he seemed to have come to terms with the path he had taken in his life, Cleveland Slim had finally arrived. As the other men rushed off to hunt for Cleveland Slim, Opus snuck back home and dug up the yellowed clippings his mother had saved of the original Exploits of Cleveland.
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Toretto never asked questions, and he never remembered his dreams. When Batista told him to do something, he did it. He was Batista's most loyal crony. That's the way he had always lived his life ever since he met Batista when they were boys. He never paused as he pursued the notorious Cleveland Slim into the depths of the Yengo National Park. He never even considered the fact that he had no idea what he was doing as soon as he left the comforts of the big city. He always hated camping as a boy, was afraid of the wildlife, and hated being more than a few blocks away from the closest doughnut shop. When Cleveland Slim scurried up worn out tracks of a mountain road near Mogo Creek, the wheels of Toretto's police cruiser got stuck in the mud. Kicking his wheels, now covered in mud, he cursed the damned Cleveland Slim and in the solitude of the park began to cry, "Why me? Why Me?"
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Here2tease felt an incredible lightness, almost as if she was floating, floating above the morass that had become her life. She looked down at the scurrying men, were they trying to protect her of their own egos. Other than Batista, who she felt a loving fondness for, the other men who were now fighting to protect her honor had all been the men who had helped erect the iron cage that had become her life. Again she laughed and laughed heartily.
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*munching on pizza....*
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Visɧɓuɱe wrote:
VISHBUME HAS SPOKEN.It's just boring.A narcissist.
The high point of the thread being a Spice girls' song. -
Besides his large collection of trophies from his expectorating competitions, Batista like to decorate with antlers and dead animals. The only art form he recognized was taxidermy, and was a regular at the local taxidermist. Batista knew how to spit and how to hunt and kill. And that was enough to earn the love of the locals. So when the notorious bandit Cleveland slim took to the hills, he went about doing what he does best, laying his traps for the kill. With Toretto running Slim towards the traps, all he needed to do was spit and wait.
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Batista sat by his fire and drank, not having here2tease around or any of his mules, he gave in to his desire for self pleasure and drifted off to sleep in his tent with his hands down his pants. As the morning arrived, he stirred in bed and moaned in pain as his head throbbed and ached from a night of too much moonshine. As he dragged himself from his tent, he groaned in disbelief. His fire was out, wet with fresh urine. There was a note, from the notorious Cleveland Slim: "Rise up ye mules and throw off your yokes. Cast aside those who whip your flank for the end days are near."
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T-Rex was a fearsome guy. Large, rough skinned, cold blooded, with file sharpened teeth. He was an old fashioned guy, the kind of guy that does the bidding of large mobsters and alliances. The kind of guy who delights in terrorizing those much smaller than himself. If there are those who suffer from Stockholm Syndrome and there are those who are Vichy, T-Rex fell in the latter category. Little did T-Rex know, or did he even have the capacity to know, a large comet was hurtling towards the planet he held dominion over. Little did he know, those small furry creatures he feasted on would soon inherit the Earth.
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HEADLINE: Checkmate in Sidney, Game Over?
On this Valentines Day, 2015, Checkmate put an end to all that once had been of here2tease's extensive racket when he capped the last three of her turf in Sidney, Australia. Moments earlier, the the world's favorite bandit, Cleveland Slim, had destroyed the last of her turf in Brisbane. Both did so in spite of the heavy security CAPO had installed around her remaining turf. People all across the globe are wondering, "Has the end finally arrived?" Will Checkmate go down in the lore of Turf Wars and be venerated for this heroic deed? What will the notorious Cleveland Slim do now that here2tease is gone? Stay tuned...
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Manage the spice girls?
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Here2tease floated higher, feeling ecstatic as the binds that had tethered her to this earthly world gave way, desire, love, and passion venerated though her very essence as she dissipated and became one with the ethereal infinity.
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