Turf War Times- WT,the other TW.
Forums › General Discussion › Turf War Times- WT,the other TW.-
2⃣1/2 ℋoƦṡeℳeƝ 🐎 is a tall and as thin as a whippet with a top-knot of hair like a sticky cream bun.His nose a membrane between two slightly unfocused cock-eyes.A large ring pierces his nose and viscous black fluid issues from it.He is a hetman,a mayor if you will,of a small mud settlement of swamp hoppers, each an accomplished cutthroat.He invites me to his manse to gaze upon a rich tapestry woven from leathery skin and lights a tallow candle so I might enjoy it all the better.A segment is as yet unfinished.He offers me exotic foul smelling cheeses but forgets the knife. He returns to the kitchen at which I scramble out of the window and leave at the settlement at a trot.
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Dealer's wife chirpily plays cards as Rented Goon torches Dealer's 4x4 truck,ignoring his phone message pleas all the whilst.
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📰Standupacacy📰 reports from the tea party organised to mark the entrance of 🍭ᎡᏌᎠᏀᏓᏣᏌᎦ🍭 into the Licky Lollies alliance.
Trestles were filled with many guests from the high to the low:The Luxembourg cartel,Bake,COPA,TFCW,Nicompoops,Rdb,The softies,S@NE,The Hitlads and other such illustrious groups and individuals such as Sabo with his toe and 🐩Elliot🐩.
An orchestra "The weeping Japeye" (contracted at no little expense) played vigorous elevator music on panpipes and flutes to much appreciative shaking of fists and banging on tables. Moments of froth and fancy were to be witnessed as well as the imbibing of fine liqueurs .Latecomers were accommodated and spigots were on full gush for this most auspicious of events.But where was the golden brown boy? A sudden waft of epic proportions,a smell so ripe that could only be one person, appeared at the edge of the pavilion,just beyond the fairy lights and wrinkled scrotum-like balloons -ᎡᏌᎠᏀᏓᏣᏌᎦ! -
Time appeared to freeze as he entered with a loping yet determined gait.His garments were of a fine tweed impregnated with his signature charm. "The red veiny log by the river",his personal favourite and played by DJ saneman,drowned out the enthusiastic clapping and howling.The burly 🍭Maverick🍭 met him at the podium and gagging bestowed him with the prestigious Licky Lollipop tags. Tears of both joy and pain were shed.But all raised a toast in his honour and swallowed the contents in a single gulp,bidding him great success and joy.Reminiscences were shared and the evening was of great fun all agreed.Flashes of nakedness,wild practical jokes,insatiable lusting,and much vomiting of chunks completed the great night.
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😂😂😂👍
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Can someone explain to me what's going on here?
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Wolfe Brothers wrote:
No you wouldn't understand.Can someone explain to me what's going on here?
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Nice work vish!
Thanks for the name drop lol -
Vish Rules! 👍👍👏👏
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Wolfe Brothers wrote:
Finish the ice-cream first.The grimace on your face as you slurp it down greedily can be readily explained. The ice-cream van that appeared last night was a blemish on an otherwise epic fest.Someone was unfortunate enough to ask for the works and was invited inside to choose from some specially flavoured cone.The treat was served roughly with guttural curses and much chiding..The cream was sour and quite obviously off.Salty one might say.After much whirring and banging around inside Mr.Stiffy pat the fellow upon the head and cast him out and sped off.All the badly bruised glutton remembered was the mellifluous music fading and the yellowing lettering on the back of the van -"Mind that Kid" as it sped off.Can someone explain to me what's going on here?
I see that you seem to wolf down that ice with notable gusto.I'd leave the flake if I were you. -
Pure genius here
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Never mind, I think I got it.
Vishbume, I know exactly what flavour that ice cream was and I don't appreciate it.
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Wolfe Brothers wrote:
😂👍 An ear to ear smile here.Thank you Wolfe brothers.🍦😝Never mind, I think I got it.
Vishbume, I know exactly what flavour that ice cream was and I don't appreciate it.
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Any time. ;)
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Visɧɓuɱe, You are so clever, such a fantastic read. I am totally in awe!
(I missed the first posting 36 weeks ago)
💋
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The audience watched Countup's motions like cats mesmerized by the odd appearance of a searching finger in an open zip.
👼Virtue👼 smiled benevolently as Countup rambled on about some apparent recipe for a supposed salad.She picked up an olive jar and allowed some to fall out onto the table."Calls for more dark rum",she spoke waving the bottle into the air,skimming the onlookers heads,before swigging from it.She counted off random numbers,"and now the trimmings".She placed freshly sliced lemons and oranges,pickled baby onions and olives,both green and black upon the field.She then placed blue tiddlywinks between the lot and deftly began to eat the lot.👼Virtue👼 suddenly bent forward,rubbed his forehead in thought and then recognizing the import of the display his eyebrow's shot upward like twin slugs suddenly repelled by salt!;he made to protect the food but too late for Countup had consumed the lot. -
👼Virtue👼 stood up to slice up a fresh turnip but despaired of the effort and fell back resigned to his fate.He removed himself from the presentation,deathly pale and blind to the grinning and gorged Countup."And that's what I call a banquet",she purred with her distinctive Australian accent.
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Wolfe Brothers wrote:
😂👍Never mind, I think I got it.
Vishbume, I know exactly what flavour that ice cream was and I don't appreciate it.
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🍴 👿 💋 💋
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"The game's evolution has never gone in a smooth flow but always in jerks and twitches akin to the convulsions of a chimp seeking out a troublesome tick.Isolated beginnings,times of expulsion,migration and the merging into larger tribes.Players expunged and others swollen to macro-mobs.They expand through airports and now their seed in other climes without having set foot there.
I have crawled naked across my rug of fine weave depicting galloping horses alongside a beach and have gained much insight and erudition from it.The evidence piles up.Declarations smack of bathos on a bedeviled crone's lips.I dissected a butterfly and pulled a revelation from its womb.The game carries the weight of the jejune and falsehoods spill like from their full fat lips.Emotional babble and the building of circles upon foul sediment are the coin of the game today.
I am but the speaker of a huge underground group.We are WEAPONZ. Prepare yourselves for the time approaches that all is made anew". Signed,The Ranter. -
Tricky Dunn was asked to make comment :
"The Ranter? Such monumental shite and piffle.What an arsehole!". -
In a damp sodden field I encountered a peasant digging for turnips.He introduced himself as 👲PrimoBaño👲 and he carried the stink of recent rutting and manure.But his tale was worth the telling and so I pinched my nose,kept my distance and listened politely.
He recounted how a certain Funky Bear would range the land with fire breathing tricks,tests of strength,dagger throwing ,acrobatic feats and so on,with a thriving business of quackery on the side.Tales of yesterday they were.But a fellow going by the name "Pudgy" wished to emulate FB and now we came to the nut of the matter.
Pudgy grew up on these wild tales and would regularly be told that FB was about with a large potato sack ready to nab a sniveler such as himself.Night terrors and sightings of FB in the woods,under his bed,in the wardrobe,in Debbie Gobbler's knickers,chopping up grandparents for firewood were the very things that shaped young Pudgy;forged him shall we say. -
Pudgy assembled his vagrant troupe and ventured forth.He managed to make a name for himself in the slums and villages,practiced his moves and gained much confidence as a consequence.More flocked to his banner and he came about that he felt it was time to go to a decent sized town.He set up his stall and bowed haughtily to the attendant audience.His half closed calculating eyes missed local chancellor ❄Groucho❄ and his good wife ❄PetiteRubyVee6❄ altogether.
His first few jumps drew polite applause and all seemed well.Pudgy drew himself up and began his star act. -
Two underlings lay on their backs 3 metres apart.Pudgy wore a chalky blue loin cloth only which complimented the rich tan he had applied the night before. (Even it was a bit unevenly applied). He sat on the feet of one and was catapulted to the feet of the other.1,2,3,4 trips in made through the air but his face knotted on the third thrust for he spotted ❄Groucho❄ signal to some constables (❄Cyrus❄,❄Peace❄,❄Sweetman❄,❄Fanatic❄ and ❄Lar❄,❄Smokey❄ to name just a few) to add spice to the act. A tendon cut here,a ligament torn there,some cartilage jellified.This all happened in a thrice and squeals of excitement greeted the antics.
The unfortunate Pudgy struck the hard ground face first with a thud and lay still.The troupe scattered.The applause and whistles couldn't even awake him.It was the cold rain hours later that did that. -
Neddy the curious nooblet:
"How old are you?".
.......
Charlie Siega: "One duck sized horse".
Rud: "You stink of old train tickets and clunge".
Grimm: "Burp".
MrVW: "Jaegermeister".
Saint: "Cunt".
Fartex: "Parp"
Mr.Big Cat: "Yawn".
Hyena: "You need to punch codes".
Tweek: "Fuck off!". -
Good stuff as always
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Marilyn's other self shares the same passion for tasty foodstuffs,beers and ass.But there the similarities end.
"Mazilyn" emerged from the thinning forest and would have been lost but for the discovery of a dirt lane.He had passed the last 3 days with only berries as sustenance.He cursed the denizens of the last village for his plight.
He continued east along the lane and by mid-morning he found himself walking towards an orchard.A man picked and bagged the apples.He stopped at what he was at and approached Mazilyn.The farmer inspected the wayfarer from head to toe and his probing eyes rested more than a few fluttering heartbeats on Maz's crotch.Maz cared nothing for his manner and continued on his way.
The man called out a greeting and commented that Maz was foreign to his parts. Mazilyn searched the man's face for any double meaning and coldly responded that he was from the town of Coughrose. -
"Can't say I know the place but then again,there are many shitholes I know nothing about." Maz noted the eyes resting on his parts again and an open leer on the chap's face,and so bade him goodbye.
"I can't tempt you to sample me apples with some cider?",he called out laughing and Maz saw from the side of his eye that the farmer was half naked and making quick jerky movements.
That night Maz climbed through the farmer's bedroom window and beat and plucked the man's apples. -
Eminent Professor "ShadyKing" stopped reading abd looked up from his papers.He felt that the lecture was a resounding success.Students started to pack their books and file out but the bipolar kid ,(what was his name?....Turfa_active...yes that was it...God,he stinks of fish he thought to himself), remained seated with his forehead knotted in thought.Turfa had been following the lecture about how the nazis teamed up with Hannibal and stormed Troy and now ventured a comment.
"Were not these different ages Prof?",he boldly asked.
"Truth","ShadyKing" said as he casually flicked a snot through the air," truth is for the unimaginative and feeble minded",he continued on seeing Turfa's face scrunch up,"truth is soon forgotten and can destroy the telling if a good tale.Besides,I am your better and your teacher".
"But it's all lies". -
Visɧɓuɱe wrote:
I lol'd 😂😂😂 pure genius vishNeddy the curious nooblet:
"How old are you?".
.......
Charlie Siega: "One duck sized horse".
Rud: "You stink of old train tickets and clunge".
Grimm: "Burp".
MrVW: "Jaegermeister".
Saint: "Cunt".
Fartex: "Parp"
Mr.Big Cat: "Yawn".
Hyena: "You need to punch codes".
Tweek: "Fuck off!".
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