Turf War Times- WT,the other TW.
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Bat Smurfett is in the habit of spitting up and out great gobs of green marbled phlegm and then,after the fact,looks around quickly to see if anyone was watching.This person has been doing it for at least 1 year now if his sleeves are anything to go by.
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This is awesome!
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Believ-able has massive welts that appear as islands in the estuary of running sores on his fingers.He has punched over 10,000 codes over the course of a week and been accepted by 503 of which 76 will fall victim to the Mason-reset.Broken veins show as an interesting weave upon his nose that he has also employed to punch codes.
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🎭Mੌɑveɼɩcƙ₀₀₇ 🎭 found fame in the entertainment business. He is in charge of injecting humour into sitcoms.2 midgets and a half is the biggest feather in his cap. "Director of atmospheric engineering" is his official title.Really all it is is pushing the canned laughter button at 10 second intervals.He once nearly lost his job when an urgent news bulletin interrupted the show to announce that communist South Korea had launched missiles against the friendly North...cue canned laughter.
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👙Elliot-s👙 was seen to command a troupe of pretty mimes that wore modest pearly pink frocks and long stripy socks.
🌚Sane Whitecollar🌚 is a a betting man who has made his riches from the willingness to gamble on anything.I threw 4 coppers into his upturned raccoon hat. He pointed to two old codgers that were sipping on reddish honey coloured beer. "Pick one", he ordered.I did as he commanded.Mine was the pot-bellied pig-faced gentleman and his was the toilet brush headed gent."Why?", and no sooner had I asked the question that the two codgers had risen and made for the loos. Sane ushered me to follow him and explained that the first to actually use the latrine would denote the loser.We entered to find the two contenders at the door talking about this year's crop of cabbages. Then,as one, they went to the wall.Sane went to one side and myself the other, all the better to glimpse the winner. -
... The tension was building when Sane's lad happened to glance at me and took petty offense so I bade them good day and rushed out with what dignity was left to me and 4 coppers less.
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Was there another you on Htrae, vish?
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ɆͣƉͩƉͩ💢💉ᏚℍʘŦ∙∘• is repo man from 9am until 3pm,at which hour he goes home and has a light lunch and watches some tv: news,cartoons,documentaries even a little porn. He then dons his robe and sets off as the ecclesiarch of his own church where he helps the needy and speaks out against avarice.
Dexter ⋁ㄒㅌᏟ is a voice over artist. He usually finds himself having to dub Toshirô Mifune and Jean Claude Van Damme.He has a cult following that have meet-up in SignorinaCamorra's basement where she lays on plenty of tiffin,lemonade and crumpet. -
🇩🇪Bodger feeds the elephants at his local zoo voluntarily and sells elephant stumps on the side. His pieces fetch huge sums and can be used as table props,umbrella holders and conversation ice-breakers.
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😈💋NEVER ₲💋😈 is the only living head-shrinker in Htrae.She peels off the skin and snips away leaving only the face and a flap of skin at the back.She boils this for 25 minutes in fresh spring water to shrink it a little.She then gets a stick and glues some wadding and sponge to the top of it and stretches the face onto it. Her stitching is immaculate and then she sets the teeth in,which are made of varnished cornflakes or even Rice Krispies! The face makes for a great toy or even puppet. Lately she has taken to tacking an eraser atop of the gleeful object and affixes a pencil into it so that children can use it as a cool thing to write with and be the envy of the classroom.Some even say that the face appears to grimace to which 😈💋Never ₲💋😈 smiles benignly.She points out that they also make for good "fluffy dice" and " fridge magnets".Sometimes though,she points out sadly,supply can't meet the demand.
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Great stuff as always Vish!!!🍺🍺🍺
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vishbume wrote:
What my wife has been doing that?Bat Smurfett is in the habit of spitting up and out great gobs of green marbled phlegm and then,after the fact,looks around quickly to see if anyone was watching.This person has been doing it for at least 1 year now if his sleeves are anything to go by.
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He signaled me from the dark corner of the rodeo bar.I approached and saw him to be a tall man though he was sitting down.Broad with bone white skin and carefully combed jet black hair his voice was well-modulated and educated.He sipped on a chipped cup of coffee and seemed to derive strength from it. I spied dried white cream on the corner of the slash of his mouth.
"Do you know me?",he questioned searching my eyes with his dark olives -
"🎈TurfWarrior🎈", he answered without waiting for my question. He opened his faded brown trench coat and within I saw a Twinkie still in its wrapper albeit slightly crushed. "There is more where that came from", he continued saying that he had accrued much of the legendary filling from the vats over the years and pretended to sell it to me on hearing that no such stuff was now available on Earth.There was obviously contact between himself and TurfWarrior.I informed him of my disinterest to which he showed neither resentment or disappointment."Many from your world come here", he sighed and with that he left.
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Just then,Cro-Mug came in,sporting a sheriff's badge and frisked me down with a bludgeon and throw me into the jail for a trumped up charge of necrophilia.
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There were a few characters within and from the tiny barred window I spied 👑Byzantium👅King👑 in the stocks with Davey da manbeast and 😆Add Marc😆 hawking rotten veggies by the side..
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👏👏👏👏👏👏
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🍴Ⓖ❽🍴 wears an ill-fitting ceremonial skull headpiece that denotes authority.He is the town black-smith and hammers diligently on a large dented cauldron in preparation for the days events.💧Joker💧 cuts and dices some vegetables with a fervor and the naked Unofficial looks haplessly on as D. prepares the stuffing with glee.
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From a yard-arm swings a small cage;inside a naked flayed sun-burnt creature,barely recognizable as a person.A name plaque has been hammered on to it roughly naming the lodger as a certain ☬G͚Λઙ★ཀंེαཧ़K☣. Children regularly poke sharpened sticks in at him,animated by the fluting noise he makes.For a copper,I rent a stick and feel the flush of satisfaction as the occupier curses.I hand over a few more and find that I enjoy the sport very much.
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Soft Hitta continues with his !!Early morning Roll Call!!.
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One of my cell mates,a certain G-Rush who tells me of injustices visited upon him and that he has turned a new leaf to which his friend Cew nods on assent,speaks of a two headed giant that lives not far off. I see the big creature, and he following my eye,tells me that I am looking at 💧Flariosa💧and 💧Lantic💧 who are Siamese twins and not the giant that he speaks of. He speaks of the huge Fuair and Dachan.The giant is fond of wearing billowing blue pantaloons and a tartan shirt. Very fair to deal with and generous but a c*unt if it felt any insult. Our conversation abruptly stopped as E=(MC)Drill entered to feed us our slops with a massive passing of gas.
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〓S U R E T Y〓 comes to the window and tells me that he has a key to sell me that will unlock the chastity belt of de maddest momma around.I decline the attractive offer citing that the key looks worn and he launches a kick in vexation at 💅℘ཞعϮϮყ_ცօყ💄 who deftly hops to the side.〓M A N H A T T E N〓meanwhile has taken to throw fireworks into the small cage much to the amusement and merriment of the growing crowd.
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And what does the wordsmith see in the mirror? This should be an interesting read Vish..;)
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I managed to extricate myself from the cell through cunning and the smashing of the wicker walls.A carnival atmosphere is in the air and I see a ball of clothes rise and fall from behind a row of heads. I push my way through the crowd to see that the ball is actually what seems to be a small undersized child."Higher Copper Bottom",demanded the crowd.
A pair are lying on their backs about 7 feet apart.With thrusts of their legs Alta and Sacam propell the midget back and forth through the air between them,lifting him higher and higher with each trip.Copper jerks and twists frantically so that he should fall square onto his target's coiled legs.
Cloned🐒 takes advantage of the situation and helps himself to the groups' takings at which Sacam leaps up in anger but is distracted by small scream emitting from Copper's small mouth as he falls head first into a nettle patch and so Cloned🐒 makes his escape with the dispersing crowd. -
💎Steve💎 complains of not getting any dp.
Karas works night shift in a toll booth which ,he says,allows him to punch codes.His other guilty pleasure is to score the side of cars,with a long metal bar that he keeps handy,as they pass. -
Great work I was crying I laughed so hard!!!
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Doctor Beasty is a child psychologist whose book "Daddy drinks because you cry" has helped many a parent.He is currently working on "Mommy doesn't love you anymore" which should prove to be another hit for desperate mothers."And that's why we call Uncle Buttwipe Aunty Mingewipe" with its colourful pictures is another helpful booklet that helps with some awkward questions.
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K A for his zero contribution to the game and the posting of useless codes on ICM.
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Johnny Uncaged is a doorman for a back road strip club and makes some cash on the side by "pick-pocketing" the thongs of the staff.Mr.Bummer is the janitor of said club that is so mean he hand washes the mops after a busy day cleaning.Allegedly he bottles the soapy wash water and sells it as cough medicine.If you ask him what is in it,he will never give you a straight answer."Fruits of much labour", he would say.
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Under a mass of seemingly seething black curls is 💄ULTRA•LA 💋 who stares at me with her black glittering eyes pinched close to the bridge of her nose. She inspects me as a bird would a worm. A minute passes and I politely cough to which her eyes regain their focus.
"You wished to show me your buttons", I reminded her.She had a huge collection of buttons from everywhere and claimed to have one even from Earth.She wanted to have me assess its value and perhaps some of its history.She ignored my professing of ignorance as modesty.And so now I find myself in her parlour awaiting to view the button.
She coughed and I realized that it was my turn to be lost in a reverie.She brought forth a beautiful dark walnut case and slowly opened it.And there,set on a bed of royal blue velvet,was the.. was the.. was the... I hadn't the heart to tell her that a butt-plug sat within."A cuckoo", was all I could say.
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