The real AMA
Forums › General Discussion › The real AMA-
Eric. wrote:
Eric., one must look into oneself for only you have the answer. But if that doesn't answer, check to see if you have a the tell-tale "carpenter-bee" birthmark behind your left earlobe, the mark of the beast Finlay. The angle of the stool you sit upon marks you as not though.Vishbume, am I a Finlay? People are saying I am, but I don't know anymore...
In other words,No. No, you be not Finlay stuff. -
vishbume wrote:
Thank you, mighty Vishbume. I have checked behind the left earlobe (and behind the right earlobe, for good measure), and have not found the telltale birthmark. I can now finally confirm that I am not a Finlay. Thank you.Eric. wrote:
Eric., one must look into oneself for only you have the answer. But if that doesn't answer, check to see if you have a the tell-tale "carpenter-bee" birthmark behind your left earlobe, the mark of the beast Finlay. The angle of the stool you sit upon marks you as not though.Vishbume, am I a Finlay? People are saying I am, but I don't know anymore...
In other words,No. No, you be not Finlay stuff. -
Oh, and I have another question: What is the true meaning of life?
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Eric. wrote:
At the risk of expressing complicated ideas in simple language,I'll quote loosely from a film that I hate -Oh, and I have another question: What is the true meaning of life?
"Life is like a chamber pot of turds. You never know which one will get squeezed out".
Couched in these terms merits your lucubration Eric.. -
"My brain is awash with knowledge", the coarse young maiden belched, exuding a distinct cloying smell.
"For 6 farthings,I warble tavern ditties that contradict each other; for 1 farthing,I foam at the mouth and spit curses into your face."
"Or if you pay 10 through PayPal,I'll speak clearly and tell you who is the father". -
Settling/hunkering down now to watch a few films. A few scatological classics are up for viewing which should set a few noses twitching:
Tremors,The Great Escape,The Dirty Dozen and They Live.
In that order. -
Wading in slush, his jellied bowels relieved themselves of a mighty load.Quick witted retainers scurried with their vials to collect the pumping viscosity. They needn't have bothered for a keen eye would have rejected it.Ah,trainees.Standards are high here at the station.
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Scum. Not sated by their ample ration, greedy thieves have robbed the shop. They had cunningly left scrapings under their fingernails.Where is the morality of it?
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Small Moon crescents were found in one of their homes.
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There is a lot of shit going on.Here,at least,it is shit I know.
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An Auspicious event. The Arch Poopnemancer Rudgicus returns from his treks in Zyngaland.He spoke and we listened;inspired to ever greater lengths of "cordage".
.................................................
To mark the occasion,we are selling some limited edition items:
-25 Twiglets that were used to scrap crud off the choicest blotched hams.
-5 badly soiled hand woven smocks once worn by the incontinent Ecclesiarch himself, famed for his ignoble and frolicsome play with "Galverse", the local prize hog.
-6 pube guitar strings with clackers* included!
-100 salt and pepper shakers moulded from the dross mined at the latrine sump.
-25 "shitflake" paperweights.Be dazzled by the pickled turd in a sleigh scene within.Marvel at the hypnotic fall of flakes when shook.
......Only while stocks last.......
*also known as match-heads,will-knots/will nots,dangleberries,cling-ons/Klingons and many other names.These hardened pin-heads of dried shit are as glued to the crevice hairs. -
👏Pure greatness....you sir are a linguistically marvellous wizard.keep up the good work vish👍
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Oohhh! I'll take one of them clackered pube strings!
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I'm still wiping my eyes from "the upsplash will anoint you"...
😂😂😂
God bless that vish - a true origami master of the written word. -
Time was of the essence. Trapped between two huge mounds it struggled,pulling and retracting all the while.Strength was flagging but the light was so inviting;much better than that darkest of dungeons.It has watched its comrades escape with apparent ease.It was the runt of the litter but headstrong. A little more.Come on.The breakfast of champion's is within me.Then with an audible sigh it slipped from its berth and plunged into the pool below. At last! Freedom. But what's this? Treachery.We have been sold down the Swanee.With a final weeeee it was pushed under the cascade and sucked down down below to go where all turds must go.Bends,curves and exuberant flows it came to a vast loch of mulch where it felt totally at home.
-Excerpt taken from the award winning book "The little turd that could", just one of the many great books we have for sale in our shop. -
༼྇༒ནཟཤརབས༒༽྇ wrote:
I sent it by registered mail buddy. I threw in a few extra strings for you. Musical are we? Or is it for a special person in your life?Oohhh! I'll take one of them clackered pube strings!
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What is my fortune?
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❌❌🇪🇸℘ɑøℒø🇪🇸❌❌ wrote:
Listening to John Denver all the while, we stirred the long handled wooden spoon in ever widening circles stretching the "brim". Within 25 minutes the orifice gives up its tension allowing us to investigate the mix unhindered.What is my fortune?
Ignoring the vessal's groans we ascertain that you needn't buy next week's lottery as you won't win it. There it is. You have saved a few bucks too.
But never fear for the dejected form for he will once again be made serviceable in a shake of a lamb's tail.
The lining is malleable and a deft cobbler makes a flap and punches a wee button into it. All is as before.
Offerings of 50 dollars guarantee our wishes of goodwill. -
Squatters' rights now! Sign the "Squat where you want and lay" petition.
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Job offer:
Position to be filled by a caretaker to help unclog the pipes and keep all in flow. Serious applicants only. Must have a passion for the job on hand and have a gentle touch. -
Ooo me...pick me.
My c.v.-Education-
Grade A in stool investigational studies
Grade A in boff recognition (individual ingredient expert)
Grade A in plop curling techniques
Grade E in dove stool manipulation (still studying)Hobbies- anything brown
I am keen to learn and have a ring piece that is sufficiently trained.
I wait with baited breath and guts that rumble unanticipation -
Wow! Rudge, if anything you are overqualified,akin to some mogul taking on snot flicking duties.
Now picture Hawaii,Trinidad,Florida,New York,Kildoon,etc.... Liking it? Get the chance to travel their sewers. Compare notes with fellow eminences of the field and ponder the transformation of tourist crud. Wade in treacly sludge,assail your nostrils with its poignancy,bathe yourself with the faucet at full gush. Go to conferences and let people marvel at your prowess. Bring joy to the fans,bedazzle them with such a pliable and earnest ring.Work from home even!
Be treated to top healthcare and unctuous bum ointments.
In other words, YES Rudge. The job is yours kind Sir. We look forward to viewing your exploits.
NO MORE APPLICANTS PLEASE. Position filled. -
Have a question, can you give some advice, general advice, thanks
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@Vishbumes Ass.
what would you do for a klondike bar?
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ThatTallKid_ wrote:
Enter. Come closer and speak little one. Yea.Approach the all knowing orifice.Have a question, can you give some advice, general advice, thanks
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vishbume wrote:
Yes, all knowing orificeThatTallKid_ wrote:
Enter. Come closer and speak little one. Yea.Approach the all knowing orifice.Have a question, can you give some advice, general advice, thanks
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Ghetto Monstazz wrote:
Chewing rectally might cause consternation amongst the pilgrims.The parps might turn to phuts.@Vishbumes Ass.
what would you do for a klondike bar?
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ThatTallKid_ wrote:
Press thy ear to the wonderduct my child.vishbume wrote:
Yes, all knowing orificeThatTallKid_ wrote:
Enter. Come closer and speak little one. Yea.Approach the all knowing orifice.Have a question, can you give some advice, general advice, thanks
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vishbume wrote:
yes. yes of course. silly me.Ghetto Monstazz wrote:
Chewing rectally might cause consternation amongst the pilgrims.The parps might turn to phuts.@Vishbumes Ass.
what would you do for a klondike bar?
follow up question, can you fart vowels?
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vishbume wrote:
Advise on how to enjoy the game more?ThatTallKid_ wrote:
Press thy ear to the wonderduct my child.vishbume wrote:
Yes, all knowing orificeThatTallKid_ wrote:
Enter. Come closer and speak little one. Yea.Approach the all knowing orifice.Have a question, can you give some advice, general advice, thanks
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