I am sara I cant find my thred
Forums › General Discussion › I am sara I cant find my thred-
A husband and wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local country club. The man and woman meet the pro and head onto the driving range. The man goes up to hit first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says not bad. Golfpro: "Now hold the club as firm as you hold your wife's breasts". The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says "Excellent!" Now the woman takes her turn. Her ball goes 30 yards. Golfpro: "Not bad, try holding the club like you hold your husbands dick." She swings and the ball goes 10 yards. Golfpro: "Not bad, but now try taking the club out of your mouth and hit the ball."
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sadsam wrote:
😂😂😂😂😂A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. A couple months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."
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A very good looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks into the bar, with no luck. Suddenly a really ugly man walks into the bar. He sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Very soon he walks out of the bar with the two of the most beautiful women you ever saw. Disheartened by all this, the good looking man asks the barman, 'Excuse me, but that really ugly man just came in here and left with those two stunning women - what's his secret? He's as ugly as sin and I'm everything a girl could want but have not been able to connect all night - What's going on?' 'Well,' Said the Barman, 'I don't know how he does it, but he does the same thing every night. He walks in, orders a drink, and just sits there licking his eyebrows...'
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Well, I seem to have found Saelos level....
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sadsam wrote:
Ha! Pretty much and it's mighty low.Well, I seem to have found Saelos level....
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A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the country. She orders the chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Well these two country boys in the next booth notice she is choking so they get up and go over to help her. The first country boy drops his coveralls and bends over and the second country boy starts licking his butt. The women watches these two go at it and is grossed out. She pukes all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. The country boy pulls his overalls back up and says to the other, "You're right Leroy, that hind-lick maneuver works like a charm."
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A married man keeps telling his wife "Honey, you have such a beautiful butt". Every person in the town agrees that she does have a very beautiful butt. The man's birthday is coming up so she decides to take a trip to the tattoo parlor and get the words "Beautiful butt" tattooed on her ass.
She walks in and tells the tattoo artist he husband thinks she has a beautiful butt. He looks and says, "You do have a beautiful butt". She then tells the man she wants Beautiful butt tattooed on her ass. The man tells her "I can't fit that on your ass, it takes up too much space. But I tell you what, I will tattoo the letters BB on each cheek and that can stand for beautiful butt. She agrees and gets it done.
On the man's birthday she hears him come home and is only wearing a robe. She then stands at the top of the stairs. He opens the door and she says "look honey." She then takes off the robe she is wearing, bends over, and the man yells "WHO THE FUCK IS BOB?"!
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Me and the wife decided to make our own sex tape.She was pissed off when I started holding auditions for her part.
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A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.""Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"
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I was chatting to an American about all the pain we felt on 9/11/2001. I should know- I caught my foreskin in my zip that day.Which, by the way, was the 9th of November.
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ᏔλᎡᎡĮØᎡ wrote:
You ready to be raped for the 9/11 joke?I was chatting to an American about all the pain we felt on 9/11/2001. I should know- I caught my foreskin in my zip that day.Which, by the way, was the 9th of November.
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🔰Superyan🔰 wrote:
Rape isn't funny Ryan...ᏔλᎡᎡĮØᎡ wrote:
You ready to be raped for the 9/11 joke?I was chatting to an American about all the pain we felt on 9/11/2001. I should know- I caught my foreskin in my zip that day.Which, by the way, was the 9th of November.
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ᏔλᎡᎡĮØᎡ wrote:
lmao in a lift to work, thanks 😳Me and the wife decided to make our own sex tape.She was pissed off when I started holding auditions for her part.
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Omg sam is on! Thaanks all!!!
And ya helpd me! My fevr is 103.2!!!!WIZZOO!!!!!!!
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A man walked into a shrinks office wearing nothing but seran wrap. The shrink takes one look at him and says "well I can clearly see ur nuts. "
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SkyTheLimit wrote:
PARTY TIME!!!😄😄😃😃😃🎉🎉🎁🎁🎉🍻🍻🍻Omg sam is on! Thaanks all!!!
And ya helpd me! My fevr is 103.2!!!!WIZZOO!!!!!!!
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Just re-read this whole post.
1: bump it up
2: the old man and his sperm count is my favorite. Lots of good stuff to make u laugh Sky. Hope u r feeling better this morning. -
sadsam wrote:
Well I can touch my nose with my tongue. 😁😜 lol. Everyone loves Colonel Lingus! (anyone ever see that saturday night live episode?)A very good looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks into the bar, with no luck. Suddenly a really ugly man walks into the bar. He sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Very soon he walks out of the bar with the two of the most beautiful women you ever saw. ere and left with those two stunning women - what's his secret? He's as ugly as sin and I'm everything a girl could want but have not been able to connect all night - What's going on?' 'Well,' Said the Barman, 'I don't know how he does it, but he does the same thing every night. He walks in, orders a drink, and just sits there licking his eyebrows...'
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http://vimeo.com/32609745
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Sorry "Colonel Angus" funny shhhhtuff.
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How many fingers am I holding behind my back?👌
Zero😉
Good luck Sky😄😄 -
Sammy Guns🔫🌊🗻 wrote:
Yay two samssadsam wrote:
Well I can touch my nose with my tongue. 😁😜 lol. Everyone loves Colonel Lingus! (anyone ever see that saturday night live episode?)Snip✂
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YOU wrote:
Oops sorrySammy Guns🔫🌊🗻 wrote:
Yay two samssadsam wrote:
Well I can touch my nose with my tongue. 😁😜 lol. Everyone loves Colonel Lingus! (anyone ever see that saturday night live episode?)Snip✂
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A teacher walks up to her student to see his picture. The teacher asks him what he drew. He replies "a cow eating grass". The teacher says "where's the grass". The kid replies "the cow ate it all". The teacher then says "where's the cow". The kid says "he left because all of the grass was gone".
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💵ţђȩ ҫǿʉɲϮ💵 wrote:
LolA teacher walks up to her student to see his picture. The teacher asks him what he drew. He replies "a cow eating grass". The teacher says "where's the grass". The kid replies "the cow ate it all". The teacher then says "where's the cow". The kid says "he left because all of the grass was gone".
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Hi i am sara an i need ths agen. Fun
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How do you wake up lady gaga?
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Poke 'er face! -
ℬeƖƖɑIƗɑƖiɑɳɑ wrote:
Why does lady gaga hate sushi?How do you wake up lady gaga?
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Poke 'er face!Bc it's raw, raw, raw raw raaw.
Raw raw,raw raw raaw.🎏 -
Anything for you Sara, just give me a minute to find that joke book
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A guy is walking down the street with some chicken wire under his arm. His neighbor sees him and asks what he has. The guy replies, "Its chicken wire and I'm going to catch some chickens." His neighbor says, "You fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire." Later that night, he sees the guy walking down the street dragging 12 chickens. The next day he sees him walking down the street with some duct tape under his arm. Once again he asks what the guy is up to. The guy says he has some duct tape and he is going to catch some ducks. He replies, "You fool, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Sure enough later that night, he sees the guy walking down the street dragging 12 ducks behind him. The next day, he sees the guy walking with something else under his arm. He asks what it is. The guy replies, "Its pussy willow." He says, "Hold on, let me get my hat."
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