I am sara I cant find my thred
Forums › General Discussion › I am sara I cant find my thred-
How about a joke with absolutely no mention of sex in it at all....
A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist. She asked, "Do you have Viagra?""Yes," he answered.
She asked, "Does it work?"
"Yes," he answered.
"Can you get it over the counter?" she asked.
"I can if I take two," he answered.
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Absolutely no sex in this one at all...
A lady goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing interest in sex.He gives her a pill but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it in his mashed potatoes at dinner. At dinner that night, she does just that.
About a week later she's back at the doctor and tells him, "The pill worked great! I put it in his mashed potatoes like you said.
It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, pushed all the food and dishes to the floor, grabbed me, ripped off all my clothes and ravaged me right there on the table."
The doctor says, "Oh dear -- I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill
was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."The lady replied, "That's very kind - but I don't think the restaurant will let us back in anyway."
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Right, I'm getting the hang of this now....no sex, nothing crude... Here goes...
During a good manners and etiquette class the teacher says to her students:
"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"
Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss."
The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."
Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."
The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word ''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."
And Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner."
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Some of the best jokes I've ever read are in this thread. Anyone do better?
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I'd rather see a pregnant woman standing on a bus, than a fat girl sitting crying.
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sadsam wrote:
HahahahahahahahahaRight, I'm getting the hang of this now....no sex, nothing crude... Here goes...
During a good manners and etiquette class the teacher says to her students:
"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"
Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss."
The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."
Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."
The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word ''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."
And Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner."
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A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock at the front door. He opens it to find two sheriff’s deputies there. He asks if there is a problem. One of the deputies asks if he is married. The man replies, “Yes, I am.” The deputy then asks if he could see a picture of the man’s wife. The guy says, “Sure…” and gets a photo to show them. The deputy says, “I’m sorry, sir. But it looks like your wife’s been hit by a truck.” The guy replies, “I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook.”
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Hahahaha how ugly was she....
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A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There’s plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he’s doing alright – but after a few months he gets lonely…
The pig starts to look more and more attractive - soft, pink flesh, round buttocks, etc. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating.
One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health. Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him “Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don’t know how I can ever repay you. I’ll do anything for you, anything, just name it.”
The guy thinks for a minute and says, “Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?”
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English isn't my native language but I heard an English joke once, you can't translate to my language but I think it's quite funny, here goes:
Q: How do you get Pikachu on the bus?
A: Poke 'em on
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F.Y.I this joke was made for entertainment purposes I do not hate gays or support hitler.
Random guy: I was gonna make a gay joke, butt fuck it.Me: Cum on guys! Gay jokes aren't funny.
Random guy: Really? What's next Hitler jokes?! Anne Frankley I don't find those funny.
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A blond, a redhead, and a brunette are stuck on an island. They can see land a few miles away. The brunette swims, doesn't even make it halfway, and drowns. The redhead swims about 50% of the way, and drowns. The blond swims 90% of the way, says "It's too far...", swims halfway back, and drowns.
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A man with bad eyesight is about to go on vacation to Texas. He asks his friend for advice. The friend says "Just remember, EVERYTHING's bigger in Texas". The man, with this in mind, comes across a hotel while in Texas. At the restaurant, he asks for a beer. The beer is enormous. The man is about to ask why it's so big, but then remembers everything is bigger in Texas. He asks someone where the bathroom is. The person says "It's right down the hall, the last door on the right". The man says "Thanks", but accidentally walks all the way down the hallway, into the swimming pool. As he falls into the swimming pool, he flails his arms around, shouting "DON'T FLUSH! DON'T FLUSH!"
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A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
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