Best jokes (18+)
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Haha! Itouch kids
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Nailz 6025 wrote:
:Dchezzy sian wrote:
lmaoApple are planning to launch a new kids range, one problem they are struggling to name the said products..... itouch kids is apparently not appropriate!!
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DJHazzer wrote:
ROFL omg lol ROFLIn Sunday school little Mary always fell asleep,so when the teacher asked her'what is the name of the man who died on the cross for us?' the boy behind her poked her with a needle and she cried out with pain:'jesus Christ!'the teacher said well done Mary and she fell back to sleep.when the teacher asked her 'what is the name of our lord?' the boy poked her again and she cried out:'god almighty!' and the teacher carried on.the last time the teacher asked Mary:'what did eve say to Adam after they had their 20th child?' and the boy poked her again and mary cried out:' if you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to kill you!'
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Crip Keeper wrote:
U probaly do lmaoHaha! Itouch kids
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An Asian woman is strolling along with her baby and a man comes up to her and says, "Oh what a beautiful baby. From Peking?" and the lady answers, "No, from fucking."
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💀 (add smooth) wrote:
shhhhh don't tell anyoneCrip Keeper wrote:
U probaly do lmaoHaha! Itouch kids
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💀 (add smooth) wrote:
Crip Keeper wrote:
I do to lmaoHaha! Itouch kids
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There are two men sitting next to each other in a bar. One shouts at the other " I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" Everyone in the bar looks at them to see what the other weasel would say. The other man says "shut up dad you're drunk."
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A man is burned in a fire to the point that nobody can recognize him, so the morticain calls in who they think he is's only friends, the first man looks at him, and says "turn him over." he does and after a quick look he says, "nope that ain't him." the morticain thanks him and calls the next friend in, after studying the corpse, the man says "turn him over" then after a quick study the man says that it isn't him. Now after this time the mortician is curious as to how both men could tell, and so he asks. The friend is happy to say so he says "oh Jim had to ass holes." then the mortician says oh how do you know that. And so he says "oh everyone knows, cause when we walked around town everyone would always say "oh there goes Jim with those two assholes!"
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bennington wrote:
ha ha true thatWhat's the difference between Maddie Maccann and the North Korea football team?
North Korea team only got raped by 11 Portuguese men! -
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender asks" what's the steering wheel for" the pirate says " arrr it's driving me nuts"
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Bump
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How did they come up with the spelling for Canada?
C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?
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There were 2 blond chicks walking through the woods. One points at the ground and says " awww look at the deer tracks" the other says "no those are fox tracks" the two keep arguing over what type of tracks they are until half an hour later they are both killed by a train
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Y did th blondes belly button hurt?
Cause her boyfreind was blonde to
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Nailz 6025 wrote:
Lmaob😹😹😹Y did th blondes belly button hurt?
Cause her boyfreind was blonde to
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Bump
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Wife tells husband " bulls can fuck up to 3000 times, why can't u?"
Husband replies " does it fuck the same cow every night!" -
A woman comes home to find her man blowdrying his cock. She says "what the he'll are u doin?" he answers "heating up ur dinner!!"
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Tony Montana Add poo wrote:
lmaoA woman comes home to find her man blowdrying his cock. She says "what the he'll are u doin?" he answers "heating up ur dinner!!"
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Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree?
A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.
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Guts or Balls...
There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, Being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ''Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?''
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the balls to say: ''You're next, fatty.''
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Police at LHR arrested a man with a pork joint stuck up his back passage today. They are still awaiting forensic results but they believe he is a member of the outlawed terrorist group Ham-Ass!
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bennington wrote:
LolCarlos Tevez: "Introducing my new lean, mean, grilling machine. I'm so proud of it, I put my face on it!"
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