The movement of 'The Yawn' needs You!!!!!!!
Forums › Families & Vendettas › The movement of 'The Yawn' needs You!!!!!!!-
Out of all the bakery products sticky buns rate one of the worst, of course the TBS bakers make them extra sticky, one of these babies lobbed into your bed and all hell would break loose!
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Yawneth be praised for UV and his Vigilance over the movement over the past week! Strong effort! Sleep well my friends
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I will continue to avoid such danger coated baked products, and thank you for your wisdom UV.
These sneaky bakers, I saw a buy a newspaper get a free jam donut today, they'll trick you at every turn, here I am finding out about the latest news and a jam filled icon of trouble is in pursuit!
Resist the temptation! -
Thanks for the observation kriss, these crafty bakers huh, one question I've been asked is about savory cooked products, as in sausage rolls, cheese scones or scotch eggs, well in the great book of Yawneth, the ruling is not clear, personally what I do is remove the puff pastry from the meat and eat it bare, there is nothing better than chewing on a large spicy sausage, cheese scones avoid at all costs, they are made with white flour, a Bakery invention to kill us all slowly, here's something to remember it by " don't eat the white it's full of shite" and " if you want a sausage sarnie chuck the bread or you'll go barmy".
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Am I know aloud to join my sleepy ones
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willis98 wrote:
It's "allowed," not "aloud."Am I know aloud to join my sleepy ones
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Your guidance is again appreciated UV.
I'm not sure any part of "loud" should be in a thread about the yawnth movement... -
Mystery wrote:
Nothing should be 'aloud' in this room... People are trying to sleep ;-)willis98 wrote:
It's "allowed," not "aloud."Am I know aloud to join my sleepy ones
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I'm sorry sleepy ones it's just my rubbish spelling I just wanted to know if I can join cuz mystery sed I had to stay in bed for 7 days and I will be rewarded.
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I meant uv not mystery, sorry sleepy ones
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willis98 wrote:
Well done Willis on your extended tour of bed duty, I hope you look and feel 10 years younger now, the second part of Great Yawneths test is called Bakers trust, I need you to infiltrate the Bakery syndicate, befriend one of them, I don't care how you do it, make apple pies together if you have too, just get close enough to gather info on their game plan, how do I know who might be a baker I can hear you say, there are signs dear Willis, check out a suspects turf, are some named egg flan, apple crumble, toad in the hole? Make friends gather info then spill the beans here, do this and your on your way to greatness!I meant uv not mystery, sorry sleepy ones
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Can't get to sleep 😒
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TheSmokinGun🚬🔫 wrote:
Don't you mean to say...Can't get to sleep 😒
'TheSmokinGun🚬🔫 can't get to sleep'
I like the whole third party talk
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TheSmokinGun🚬🔫 wrote:
UV opens the office door, there stands a bleary eyed soul, looking pale and troubled, "ah your The Smoking Gun thanks for arriving early for your appointment" I said, "please lay on the table", ( Cat was sleeping on the couch) "now in the thread you said you can't sleep" I looked over at him, he was sweating profusely as he tried to get comfortable between the knives and forks, "right Mr Gun" I said, "please start at the beginning".....Can't get to sleep 😒
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El Gato Grande wrote:
TheSmokinGun🚬🔫 breaks out of character and smiles. Will you be my friend?TheSmokinGun🚬🔫 wrote:
Don't you mean to say...Can't get to sleep 😒
'TheSmokinGun🚬🔫 can't get to sleep'
I like the whole third party talk
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Ultraviolet wrote:
TheSmokinGun🚬🔫 wrote:
UV opens the office door, there stands a bleary eyed soul, looking pale and troubled, "ah your The Smoking Gun thanks for arriving early for your appointment" I said, "please lay on the table", ( Cat was sleeping on the couch) "now in the thread you said you can't sleep" I looked over at him, he was sweating profusely as he tried to get comfortable between the knives and forks, "right Mr Gun" I said, "please start at the beginning".....<Can't get to sleep 😒
The very beginning? -
TheSmokinGun🚬🔫 wrote:
"yes just relax and tell me when your sleep problem started" UV removed the dinner plate from under Mr Guns head.Ultraviolet wrote:
TheSmokinGun🚬🔫 wrote:
UV opens the office door, there stands a bleary eyed soul, looking pale and troubled, "ah your The Smoking Gun thanks for arriving early for your appointment" I said, "please lay on the table", ( Cat was sleeping on the couch) "now in the thread you said you can't sleep" I looked over at him, he was sweating profusely as he tried to get comfortable between the knives and forks, "right Mr Gun" I said, "please start at the beginning".....<<br/>The very beginning?Can't get to sleep 😒
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Stop the press!! July 4th a TBS plot!! think about it the loud fireworks keeping everyone awake. The consumption of hot dogs and burgers (they get eaten in buns, and we all know where buns are made).
I fear the American celebration of independence was hijacked some years ago by heinous TBS agents. We must help. UV give us a plan to liberate our American yawners and I'm good to go go go.
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randombloke wrote:
Hang on a bit Random, UV looked across at Mr Gun, " Ok then that's all for today" Smoking Gun gets up and gives UV £50.00. "Same time tommorow" UV says as the money magically disappears into his pocket.Stop the press!! July 4th a TBS plot!! think about it the loud fireworks keeping everyone awake. The consumption of hot dogs and burgers (they get eaten in buns, and we all know where buns are made).
I fear the American celebration of independence was hijacked some years ago by heinous TBS agents. We must help. UV give us a plan to liberate our American yawners and I'm good to go go go.
Now Random, I will have to commune with the great Yawneth on this problem, let me sleep on it. -
These early mornings are just not compatible with yawnwth, but I always have cereal, never toast or bagels, damn bakers trying to get you as soon as you rise!!
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Ultraviolet wrote:
🍴🍴TheSmokinGun🚬🔫 wrote:
UV opens the office door, there stands a bleary eyed soul, looking pale and troubled, "ah your The Smoking Gun thanks for arriving early for your appointment" I said, "please lay on the table", ( Cat was sleeping on the couch) "now in the thread you said you can't sleep" I looked over at him, he was sweating profusely as he tried to get comfortable between the knives and forks, "right Mr Gun" I said, "please start at the beginning".....Can't get to sleep 😒
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Right, Random I've had a good sleep and Yawneth has given me guidance through dreams. The way I see it the Americans use the 4th July as a good excuse to drink and eat as much as they can, so I suggest an alternative, let's have an national stay in bed day, motto for the t-shirts could be - If your sleeping you can't be eating, TSB would be really upset, think of all the bread buns going stale, well what do you think? Any other suggestions greatly appreciated.
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TheSmokinGun🚬🔫 wrote:
The Smoking Gun paused outside Ultraviolets door, in purple lettering it said, Ultraviolet, Sentinel of Yawn, Psychiatrist, drains unblocked. Gun hesitated, did he really want to know the reason for his insomnia? Before he could knock he heard UVs normally calm voice say 'if it's money you want, you can piss off'. As gun entered UV was clearing the breakfast table, he watched the puffy red eyed man enter, 'still not sleeping then', said UV, gun lay on the table careful of the bowl of Cheerios still making small popping noises, 'sorry about the table again, Mr Gun', the cat just won't get off the couch'. 'Are you really qualified in psychiatry?' said Gun in a small voice, 'of course i am,Can't get to sleep 😒
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look at all these books!' UV reached for the nearest book, He read aloud, chapter one - Preparing the subject, chapter two - Removing the brain, chapter three - What to do with the eyeballs, alarmed UV read the title, Head shrinking for Dummies! Quickly he replaced the book, Ha,ha, ' just a little joke Mr Gun', ' please stop biting my tablecloth',. 'Ok then I'm going to ask you some questions, ' ask me anything, all I need is a good sleep' replied the desperate man, 'now you said you haven't slept for two weeks, can you think back to anything that happened around that time?', Gun suddenly brightened, 'well I did have an incident on a train', UV leaned forward, 'yes go on', 'I do a lot of traveling by train, goes with the job, anyway I had just passed Doncaster and I had laid two turf there' gun looked at UV sheepishly, ' this goes no further right?'
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'of course, think of me as a doctor' replied UV, 'well the carriage was empty, and I was looking at pictures of Kyle on my phone, and what with the motion of the train it was turning me on'. Gun had turned bright red, ' to put it bluntly sir, I was in need of relief!' Gun suddenly said,. 'Seeing as I was alone, I dropped me jeans and proceeded to vigorously wank myself, I thought it wouldn't take me long to come, and Kylie was wearing those gold hot pants, then it happened!'
Ding!! 'Oops sorry Mr Smoking gun your session is over, we can continue tomorrow, just leave the cash on the table'. -
Lol
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El Gato Grande wrote:
He has another session tomorrow, I think we are making progress.Lol
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"so where were we?" said Ultraviolet to the puffy eyed man that called himself The Smoking Gun,. Gun looked up shyly, "well I was masterbating to the picture of Kyle on my iPhone", "ah yes", said UV,thinking Kylies gold hot pant might fit him if he lost 3 stone, gun went on, " we were just about to arrive in Manchester train station, and I was on the point of no return, you know the 'vinegar stroke' some call it","but then I came, boy it felt good!," UV leaned closer, studying Guns grin, "is that it?" Said UV, "no, no, it's just the start of my problems" beads of sweat appearing of his brow, "after recovering I looked down, you know to wipe my cock, the train was slowing to a stop, plenty of time to wipe myself I thought, to my horror I had shot my load everywhere! I had missed my tissue and sprayed it all over the seat, the floor, on Kylies hot pants, and even the window!!", "so you started cleaning up" said UV.
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"Yes! Yes!" said Gun agitated, "people were getting on the train, someone might enter at any moment, I set about cleaning the sticky mess up, the window was the worst, it left smears I couldn't remove", "you really must have come loads then", "oh I did" replied Gun going a deep shade of red, "I had just got it all cleaned up when I heard the carriage door open, thank god! I thought just made it, little did I know worse was to come!" Ding! "Oops that's all for today Mr Gun, same time tomorrow" as Gun left UV started up his web browser, "Hmm let try E-Bay he thought as he punched in to search for Kylies hot pants.
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My Gun eased himself onto the leather couch, he felt happier, having had a better sleep that night, "right let's go back to the incident on the train" said UV, trying to get comfortable, he had purchased a copy of Kylies gold hot pants and was wearing them, of course they were a larger size than Kylies, but how else could he get into them. "Well I had cleaned up the cum as I said, and just had time to pull up my jeans when she opened the door", "she?" said UV, "yes she was fit, long blonde hair, legs that went on and on, my luck was in I thought, all my sodden tissues were hidden thank god, and the streaky window didnt look too bad", "so she came in?" inquired UV, "she took a couple of steps towards the seat, looked across and let out an almighty scream!
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