The best joke you can come up with
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I'll put mine: A little boy about 9 years old was playing his playstation portable downstairs while his older brother was banging his girlfriend in his room and the little boy was wondering what the noise upstairs was so he goes his brothers room and asked what they were doing the older brother responds we are making sandwiches so the little boy says oh then get your mayonnaise off of me
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?
'ell-if-i-know
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OK, we all know that 666 is the number of the Beast, but did you know that...
670 - Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI - Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000000 - Number of the High Precision Beast
665.9999954 - Number of the Pentium Beast
0.666 - Number of the Millibeast
/666 - Beast Common Denominator
666 x sq. rt (-1) - Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010 - Binary of the Beast 6
1-900-666-0666 - Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now! Only $6.66/minute.
Over 18 only please.$665.95 - Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$606.66 - Wal-Mart price of the Beast
$566.66 - Costco/Price Club price of the Beast
Phillips 666 - Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 - Way of the Beast
666 F - Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k - Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg - Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66 % - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell National Bank, $666 -minimum deposit.
Lotus 6-6-6 - Spreadsheet of the Beast
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Word 6.66 - Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 - CPU of the Beast
666i - BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised) - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
668 - Next-door neighbor of the Beast
- Number of the Blonde Beast
uh... what was that number again? -
ok so this ain't really a joke but is true and something I found strangely funny at the time…
I was in the pub and some guy just come up to me and said
'Ere mate, it might take months of planning and effort tunnelling under your neighbours house,
but imagine their faces when you surface in their lounge!'then he just turned n walked off and I'm like WTF!!! did that just happen?
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Where does the policeman live? 999 let's be avenue you
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Killing Man wrote:
Isn't it supposed to be:I'll put mine: A little boy about 9 years old was playing his playstation portable downstairs while his older brother was banging his girlfriend in his room and the little boy was wondering what the noise upstairs was so he goes his brothers room and asked what they were doing the older brother responds we are making sandwiches so the little boy says oh then get your mayonnaise off of me
A little boy shared a bunk bed with his brother. One night, the older brother on the top bunk was having sex with his gf. The older brother said "Remember, tomatoe means faster, lettuce means harder." After the girl yelled "Tomatoe, lettuce" alot, the younger boy said can you stop making sandwiches you're getting mayonnaise all over me. -
Whats ORANGE and sounds like a PARROT???
A carrot!!
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Whats the best way to get a baby out of a blender?
Nachos -
Coolio wrote:
Winner!! Were you at the pub with mess?ok so this ain't really a joke but is true and something I found strangely funny at the time…
I was in the pub and some guy just come up to me and said
'Ere mate, it might take months of planning and effort tunnelling under your neighbours house,
but imagine their faces when you surface in their lounge!'then he just turned n walked off and I'm like WTF!!! did that just happen?
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A man was at work when he got a text from his wife.
Darlingthespacebuttononmyphoneisbrokenwhenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative
As the man eagerly rushed home,he wondered 'what the hell does ternative mean?'
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I heard one from a 9yr school kid in a country town once. I'm not saying it tho because you will all get politicaly upset.
Let's just say I lol'd at what kind of jokes kids say these days..
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Nailz⚡ was here wrote:
Come on, share it!I heard one from a 9yr school kid in a country town once. I'm not saying it tho because you will all get politicaly upset.
Let's just say I lol'd at what kind of jokes kids say these days..
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beasty wrote:
Lmao - I hadn't heard the DSM one before. 😄Word 6.66 - Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 - CPU of the Beast
666i - BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised) - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
668 - Next-door neighbor of the Beast
- Number of the Blonde Beast
uh... what was that number again? -
DJHAZZR wrote:
I don't get itA man was at work when he got a text from his wife.
Darlingthespacebuttononmyphoneisbrokenwhenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative
As the man eagerly rushed home,he wondered 'what the hell does ternative mean?'
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Lol it doesn't work
It should end
...whenyougethomeiwantanalternative -
Q: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A: A cherry float. -
krissharm wrote:
Yeah that's it I just realised the stupid post went of the pageLol it doesn't work
It should end
...whenyougethomeiwantanalternative -
What's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator dosent fart when u pull ur meat out. -
Murdock wrote:
NiceWhat's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator dosent fart when u pull ur meat out. -
My 6 year old son's favourite joke.
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrrrrrrrr!! 😺 -
Did you hear about the dyslexic guy that walked into a bra?
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Ring someone up...
Say "I'm calling from the electric company, I need to ask if your fridge running ok?"
When they say "yeah" or something like that, you say, "well quick get after it before it gets away" -
TheSmokinGun🚬🔫 wrote:
LolMy 6 year old son's favourite joke.
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrrrrrrrr!! 😺 -
A jelly baby goes to the doctors and says "doctor I think I've got aids" the doctor replies "why do you think you've got aids?",the jelly baby says "I've been shagging allsorts"
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What's pink and hard?
A pig with a flick knife -
Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stayed up all night wondering if there is a dog?
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Q. What do you call a women in the wind??
A. Gail
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A guy walks into a bar.
It hurt
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Two guys walk into a bar.
Don't you think the second one woulda ducked?
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Ok, no one take offence to this. Belial, Nick and H@voc were in a car speeding. A cop pulled them over and said if all your dicks measured to equal or above 15 inches, I'll let you off without a ticket. So H@voc and nick pull out their meat and the cop says "7in each, that's 14 inches". Then, Belial took out his meat. A measly one inch. The cop said "Well, um, I guess that's 15 inches, your free to go. When they got back in the car and drove off, Belial says "You guys are damned lucky I had a boner!"
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