😠 I Bought It!
Forums › General Discussion › 😠 I Bought It!-
Parents dilemma:
Kid bought an itouch, plays all day. Her mom gets mad. "stop it with that and do your home work! Who said you could purchase that anyway? You know you don't deserve it because of your bad grades this year." says the parent. "you can't take it, I bought it with my own money!!" says kid
What would you do as a parent? What about from the kids viewpoint? -
You can take it. Make sure they know that. Hope you don't have to.
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So which one are you?
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ΤΞ⊄Η∩➒₦∉ wrote:
The "aunt in-law"So which one are you?
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Brown🎵Note wrote:
The mom, walked away with tail between legs :/You can take it. Make sure they know that. Hope you don't have to.
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GRANE wrote:
I might do the same... Picking battles is important. But I'd like to think I could make the kid see it's for their own good, and take it while other things need to be done.Brown🎵Note wrote:
The mom, walked away with tail between legs :/You can take it. Make sure they know that. Hope you don't have to.
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You're the adult. So unless you're on meth, you know what's good for them. Let them know that and take his iPod from him until you see improvement. Granted I'm not a parent, so you should be looking to a real one for advice.
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I would let my son/daughter know that I'm proud that, he/she saved enough to buy such an expensive item. Yet, I would also tell him/her that, I should "know" before they spend money on big ticket items and that, I'll have to hold on to it until grades improve.
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Your house, your rules. When they are able & willing to be self sufficient & are on their own they get to make the rules. - (says the father with 2 boys under thr age of 4.)
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Sabasaul wrote:
Well if you start now, and are consistent, you will have more success when they reach their teens!Your house, your rules. When they are able & willing to be self sufficient & are on their own they get to make the rules. - (says the father with 2 boys under thr age of 4.)
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MR 357 wrote:
I like this advice. You show some degree of compassion, yet there's still the valuable lesson of upkeep.I would let my son/daughter know that I'm proud that, he/she saved enough to buy such an expensive item. Yet, I would also tell him/her that, I should "know" before they spend money on big ticket items and that, I'll have to hold on to it until grades improve.
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@Fat Bastard...👍
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ItMe wrote:
I was gonna say just take something else that you bought..My kids ever talk to me like that. I'll beat there ass! Just to start this post off! And I'll say ok you bought it with your money. Then go upstairs. Take there bed,tv,video game systems, and the door off the hinges. I'll strip there room bare and let them keep that iPod. HAVE FUN. PS when it dies. I buy the electricity 😽. My oldest daughter has been a victim already 😄
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Let's just say that in my household the iPod (earned) has spent several days on top of the refrigerator or (and this just tweaks the young one to no end) in the hands of his grandmother who uses it for her Facebook, etc. (they actually share it...somewhat). Once it spent the entire weekend with grandma simply because the urchin said, "You can't do that!" when I tendered the ultimatum. That being said, he knew from the beginning that I would determine content and use of the device, etc. And that he could lose privileges due to behavior or other school issues. In truth, he really doesn't push me that much and is very good about the time sharing deal with grandma (they go halfsies--it's complicated but makes them both happy).
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Asking the child to do the home work was sufficient. Nothing needed to be said but that. Everything after of that reveals a lack of patience and attention. The statements after that were in error and the parent undermined their own authority. Better would have been to ask the child patiently to do home work. When the child finished the home work the parent could then positively reinforce that by saying something like, 'Great job finishing your homework. I noticed your new device. You saved that with your own earnings? Great job! Since you finished your home work here is some money to purchase some games.' Or, just a compliment is good as well. If the child does not do home work they don't get to play with the device. That is the rule.
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Scarlett❤ wrote:
Let's just say that in my household the iPod (earned) has spent several days on top of the refrigerator or (and this just tweaks the young one to no end) in the hands of his grandmother who uses it for her Facebook, etc. (they actually share it...somewhat). Once it spent the entire weekend with grandma simply because the urchin said, "You can't do that!" when I tendered the ultimatum. That being said, he knew from the beginning that I would determine content and use of the device, etc. And that he could lose privileges due to behavior or other school issues. In truth, he really doesn't push me that much and is very good about the time sharing deal with grandma (they go halfsies--it's complicated but makes them both happy).
Sharing with grandma? Ultimatums? The urchin? How humiliating. Why don't you just castrate him now? I'm sure that would really "tweak" him.
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I agree with ils method of handling it
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wangberg wrote:
i'll have a sense of humor mailed to your doorstep if you'll pm me your address. unwind, dude, UNWIND.Scarlett❤ wrote:
Let's just say that in my household the iPod (earned) has spent several days on top of the refrigerator or (and this just tweaks the young one to no end) in the hands of his grandmother who uses it for her Facebook, etc. (they actually share it...somewhat). --edit--And that he could lose privileges due to behavior or other school issues. In truth, he really doesn't push me that much and is very good about the time sharing deal with grandma (they go halfsies--it's complicated but makes them both happy).
Sharing with grandma? Ultimatums? The urchin? How humiliating. Why don't you just castrate him now? I'm sure that would really "tweak" him.
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@wangberg...it might behoove you to consider that in non-standard households like my own where four generations are under one or two rooves there are often very odd-seeming circumstances. the "urchin" in question is only just now almost six and he and his "Mimi" were not provided with company iphones, so they struck a deal. When he's here the iPod is his. when he's with his dad, the iPod is Mimi's. Unlike you, they see this as great given the alternative...which is jockeying for time on someone's iPhone--good luck with that. An iPod, contrary to modern popular opinion, is not an inalienable right granted to every American at the age of "technability."
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Since when do parents kiss there childs ass? Sounds like the kids run the house and not the adults. SMFH
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ItMe wrote:
That's exactly how THAT household is run. The kids ( including cousins) pick weekends and tell the adults we're going to the beach. The parents scramble to make plans and ask us ( the uncle and "aunt" w/a vehicle) if we want to go :/Since when do parents kiss there childs ass? Sounds like the kids run the house and not the adults. SMFH
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GRANE wrote:
Did the little dude ever do his homework. I need to know that one. 😏ItMe wrote:
That's exactly how THAT household is run. The kids ( including cousins) pick weekends and tell the adults we're going to the beach. The parents scramble to make plans and ask us ( the uncle and "aunt" w/a vehicle) if we want to go :/Since when do parents kiss there childs ass? Sounds like the kids run the house and not the adults. SMFH
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ItMe wrote:
Lol she has summer school, so I guess not 😹GRANE wrote:
Did the little dude ever do his homework. I need to know that one. 😏ItMe wrote:
That's exactly how THAT household is run. The kids ( including cousins) pick weekends and tell the adults we're going to the beach. The parents scramble to make plans and ask us ( the uncle and "aunt" w/a vehicle) if we want to go :/Since when do parents kiss there childs ass? Sounds like the kids run the house and not the adults. SMFH
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Sabasaul wrote:
Your house, your rules. When they are able & willing to be self sufficient & are on their own they get to make the rules. - (says the father with 2 boys & 6 girls.
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MR 357 wrote:
I feel the same.. Lol when I was a teen I'd bring home some things my parents hated. I remember I bought a car when I was 14.. Lol they flipped! I also bought home a parrot they loved him but were pissed I spent a few grand.I would let my son/daughter know that I'm proud that, he/she saved enough to buy such an expensive item. Yet, I would also tell him/her that, I should "know" before they spend money on big ticket items and that, I'll have to hold on to it until grades improve.
As I got older I learnt not to say anything at all or just talk it over
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Let him/er keep the touch, but lock them off from every other luxury, until their behavior n homework improve!! How old?
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At 15/16 I wa making more money than my mum step dad and dad put together, and I would of basically told them to stick it,and move out! Like I did(not over touch tho) so it can go either way, win win really, if they stubborn then they will learn to support themselves very quick and eventually come full circle and understand why u took the stance u did, or they will fold to authority and do as they told? I'm very strict ,but I know it will benefit them when they go out in the world!!
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MR 357 wrote:
Yeah, def let them know u proud that they manage their money good and hbe goals and driven to achieve, that in itself is a big step to independence,..but bottom line...do as ur told,lol...I'd tell him "u have a choice"...do u want to keep touch and do own washing ironing cooking etc...or fie me touch till all responsibilities are met, then u get to have both!! Gota give them options I feel!I would let my son/daughter know that I'm proud that, he/she saved enough to buy such an expensive item. Yet, I would also tell him/her that, I should "know" before they spend money on big ticket items and that, I'll have to hold on to it until grades improve.
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@O-Dogg...that parrot must be beautiful but, for a few Gees- I hope it can talk by now. (ha!)
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@Krazijay...👍
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Since when has it been cool for danielson to disrespect mister miagee?
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