Fucked up shit you didn't know about turf wars:
Forums › General Discussion › Fucked up shit you didn't know about turf wars:-
I miss Mess!
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You forgot to out Johnny as the biggest Starbucks distributor in the Boston area.
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More than one of these are true.
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cute.
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мīм wrote:
✅And that my good friend is what makes this thread truely fucked up.😜More than one of these are true.
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ZRAYGO wrote:
Great post Saba. All 100% factualI miss Mess!
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Das had a pace maker due to an infection that damaged his heart when he was in the military. He was able to control the fibrillations with an external control box and would often use his pacemaker as an alarm clock to wake up and attack players.
For a very brief time both Matt Damon & Ben Affleck played turf wars. Nick has a pic of the 3 of them turfing while leaning against his gold Ferrari.
Innocent SABA 👋✋👋, used to rent an appartment in Nick's basement and would take care of his pets on weekends in exchange for Don Points.
SpeedDoctor/Black Wallstreet was such s prolific hopper that a YouTube video was made and went viral.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoLhLn9hVkE
Brooklyn almost sparked an international crisis by spamming on Christmas Eve.
As of the posting of this thread, there have been exactly 432 forced resets for violations of TOS. 37 of those were 2nd resets for same device and 16 were third or more for same device.
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Embraced by the TW community, swagger embarked on and eventually completed his gender reassignment procedures.
On a sidenote, swagger briefly dated the "soup nazi" from Seinfeld.ChainsawCharlie went "off the grid" to become a missionary in Papua New Guinea. While no hard evidence has surfaced as of yet, reports from others in his party were that CC met his untimely demise after inadvertently using the local Canibal tribes sacred hunting grounds as his personal latrine.
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best post ive read in a long ass time
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Innocent Saba wrote:
That explains so much.Das had a pace maker due to an infection that damaged his heart when he was in the military. He was able to control the fibrillations with an external control box and would often use his pacemaker as an alarm clock to wake up and attack players.
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Lmao this is great
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MIM is short for Masterfully Improvised Misinformation which is quite fitting for the crew he is associated with.
Havoc is the owner on record of 37 unique patents, with another 64 pending. He also at one point had every member, employe and visitor of the gym he belonged to, playing TW.
Macas was named after a Nobel gas in RL.
Wino once won a bet by successfully inserting 9 cadberry mini eggs into her ears.
Randombloke swam the English Channel.
Belial worked at Disney for 8 years before moving on to greener pastures as a big game hunting guide.
Johnson Mob is a world renowned elephant trainer and broke his coccyx when he slipped on a pile of elephant dung.
At age 16 Turf🐑Warrior was arrested for gross indecency with a mollusk (a quahog to be exact) in public. Due to the aggravating circumstances of his case (being within 100 yards of a school zone), he was tried as an adult and will always be a registered 🐚 offender.
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Johnny O is actually folically challenged. He has a rare case of Alopecia Areata. His only treatment is to make all assume he's getting haircuts on a regular basis. Mystery is a burlesque dancer. Dropping a pin in every local that she has been to. Thus the fight to keep her capos. They are reminders of where she has been.
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Innocent saba is a retired cold war era operative from the Kremlin. Born under the name of Valentin Sabasnikov, he came to be recognized by his comrades and enemies as simply Saba. He was recruited by nick for the sole purpose of using his skills of dupery and guile to generate don points by triggering scuffles and wars between otherwise peaceful turf wars players or alliances. Groups across the Turf Wars community where often taken in complex and costly boondoggle to the benefit of his now prosperous employer. Many realised the deceit and it is often heard on Pal that if you wake up with thousands of hits it must be "Saba's fault".
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Innocent Saba wrote:
geriatric reproductive therapies.
i think i just threw up in my mouth
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Innocent Saba wrote:
☝ This is not trueIf you reach god father status (level 100) before achieving elite status on all missions, you will automatically be reset.
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✯ᐪᑋᵋᎪᏒᏟᎻᎪƝᎶᏋᏝ✯ wrote:
Innocent Saba wrote:
☝ This is not trueIf you reach god father status (level 100) before achieving elite status on all missions, you will automatically be reset.
No...
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Mojo owns an ISP and travels the country marketing the advantages of using one of the "small guys". Due to relentless reports of spoofing & needing to provide receipts & travel related proof to support, he is 99% inactive these days.
Funny thing is, some would say he was 99% ineffective even when he was active so in essence, nothing's changed.After the first year of turf wars, nick went on a mini marketing campaign to try and bring in new blood. For some unknown reason he chose Tub Thumping by ChubbaWumba as TW there music. The marketing plan failed misserably and was scrapped after only 2 weeks.
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Seeker was the first openly homosexual team physican in the NHL. He was eventually relieved of his duties for performing "unnecessary" prostrate exams on team players. In his defense, he was always "bottom line" cost conscious and saved the team thousands of dollars by avoiding the use of latex/vinyl gloves during these procedures. Unimpressed with his frugality, he now drives the Zamboni during intermissions.
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Gas Face was a name change. He originally went by the name Hanukkah Harry.
OSU - what more is there to say? You can't have a C_CK _ _CKER without OSU
Momo & Mama Tek where arch enemies and actually met on 5 seperate occasions at a local 7-11 to settle their differences in person. Momo has a bald spot on the side of her head where tek twice ripped out an entire handfull of hair. Both were arrested several times and restraining orders are still in place. Ironically, Rhode Island is the only state in which neither of them are banned from 7-11 for life.
Additionally, somehow (may have fallen under RICO ACT) Nick was fined $17,000 by the state of Ca for what they called "his part in the process of promoting the then ongoing disputes and elevating the circumstances for personal & profitable gains." -
Saba is a notorious pick pocket. He is wanted in 3 state on several mistameare charges and once escaped from a straight jacket while being detained for yelling and spitting on people.
He changes his appearance bi-monthly in hopes not to be recognized.
This also reflects his game play and answers many, many questions about our beloved Saba... -
ĐΞΛĐ☠МΛИ wrote:
Saba is a notorious pick pocket. He is wanted in 3 state on several *misdemeanor? charges and once escaped from a straight jacket while being detained for yelling and spitting on people.
He changes his appearance bi-monthly in hopes not to be recognized.
This also reflects his game play and answers many, many questions about our beloved Saba... -
😂😭😂😭😂😭👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
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Bigmann is Bruce Jenner.
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hahahaha nice one Saba
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A very enjoyable and amusing read! Glad I'm relatively unknown!
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DonGordi is a relatively unknown 2nd cousin to Zraygo.
He was once charged and served time for armed robbery of a local 7-11. He got caught because in his loot was a 6 pack of Miller Lite. The salesperson told him he needed ID for the beer. He instinctively showed them his ID.
The police were waiting at his house when he got home. They were glad to see him. His grandma was serving them iced tea and home baked cookies while showing off cute pictures of "Littile Donnie" as a child.
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G E T C H wrote:
Haha, she makes great cookies!DonGordi is a relatively unknown 2nd cousin to Zraygo.
He was once charged and served time for armed robbery of a local 7-11. He got caught because in his loot was a 6 pack of Miller Lite. The salesperson told him he needed ID for the beer. He instinctively showed them his ID.
The police were waiting at his house when he got home. They were glad to see him. His grandma was serving them iced tea and home baked cookies while showing off cute pictures of "Littile Donnie" as a child.
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We don't talk about Don
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Before becoming a master carpenter, ĐΞΛĐ☠МΛИ was a gifted pan flute prodigy studying under the tutelage of 70's icon Zamfir.
Killer Kashla was one of the civilians who helped apprehend Richard Ramirez
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