🏰 The TW CITY 🏰
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Ima rickshaw
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This is great bro, keep it up 👍
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Egged on by the company of mephitic thugs lacking all charm,a weedy youth with hollow cheeks and a rash of pimples around his mouth jumped down from a soap-box,performed a little jig,straightened his malnourished frame and began to chant in a reedy voice of his triumphs.He demanded that we make space as he sang,interspersing his song with capers and jigs.Punching the air with little tightened-up fists,he pulled up his soiled pantaloons and attempted a somersault at which I,losing patience and unforgivably delayed on my way to no particular place,let fly a drop kick that hurled him like a beanbag across the road directly under the wheels of a passing carriage."
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If he had sung songs of woe,I believe you just might have thrown him a copper,"quipped Bio,clapping me on the back,as I launched a well-aimed kick at Bunty's erratically twitching prostrate form."I have found the inconceivable boggles the mind and is rarely possible,but do allow me to invite you for a tipple,"I replied with good cheer as I cut away Bunty's money pouch.
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Man I missed this thread.
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Directed to the address by Grimm,Lordgarrett99 walked up the short gravel path to the front entrance,a massive door at the back of a short portico.He licked his lips,daubed his glistening forehead with a handkerchief and pulled the bell cord.Within he thought to hear a sound and gave the cord another tentative tug.
The door suddenly swung wide and in the opening stood a strikingly attractive woman wearing a pastel blue coloured cowl-neck top and palazzo trousers with leather ankle boots the colour of burgundy.She wore an expression of annoyance and swept lordgarrett99 up and down with a severe gaze,then asked as to the reason for his visit.
He found that the words would not come and sought frantically for the right words.
Gunstreet grrl regarded him with little sympathy,"Well come on,I haven't got all day". -
"Not even a wintry smile on that face,"he thought and grew yet more nervous.Stuttering and sweating profusely,Lordgarrett99's words came unchecked,"I like big arses,big boobs,big,big,b,bb,"and here he began to gibber,grunt and cluck before befouling himself.His eyes looked up sheepishly then turned to surprise on seeing red hot tongs clamp down hard on his soft bits.In searing pain and smoke he fled,missing the wonderful opportunity to see the radiant smile on Gunstreet grrl.
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😂😂😂😂😂
That will teach him! -
😂💦this made me giggles😘💋
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👍👍👍👍
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A massive door of glass and brass,smudged by a score of greasy marks,slid aside at Mr.Motherfucker's approach.He passed through the opening and found himself in a large high-ceilinged room with a counter separating him from a score or so busy looking clerks.He tucked in his threadbare shirt and advanced to the counter.He coughed politely and waited.
While he did this,he assessed the room.A dozen large framed maps with coloured circles hung on the walls and a large bay window looked out upon a busy plaza at the far end.
Growing impatient,he rapped on the counter with his index finger.Startled,a bottle nosed clerk with no neck looked up in irritation and came to serve him,looking up to the heavens,tutting and cursing under his breath.
"I wish to enquire as to the legality of selling an account," he stated."For curiosity's sake," he hastily added in response to the look of disbelief. -
The clerk wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and grinned,"Sir,all must be handed-in in written form and deposited in yonder bin."
Indignant,Mr.Motherfucker straightened up to his full height,"You may perform a private act upon such papers and be damned for being niggardly with your time."
He turned on his heel but was grasped by the collar and wrenched back.The shirt came off in the clerk's grip and Motherfucker fled the scene in a string vest.He hid in a bush in which he found already housed an occupant,one Mr.Smrks,who was pressing acorns up his arse,two at a time.The cries of disgust along with the moaning alerted the authorities who beat them both with proper zest and took the pair away for further questioning. -
Such a great read! Keep it going Vish👌
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Ꭶ།྄ཐཔྲཇའ☠И↭山↭Я☠ wrote:
Such a great read! Keep it going Vish👌
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lol looks like Mr. Smrks is finally heading to the mental institution wing of TW City Jail! Good work Vish 👍
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ᎠᎬᎪᎠᏞᎽ ⚒ D M L wrote:
I reckon so! 😂😂😂lol looks like Mr. Smrks is finally heading to the mental institution wing of TW City Jail! Good work Vish 👍
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The lone wheel window of the chamber admitted only a cold grey light,casting the bailiffs who stood by the accused as night phantoms or ghouls.The accused,one Pigofsteel, stood with sloping shoulders looking down at his undone shoelaces.His face looked haggard and,commented Legion to Grave Digger,was not unlike "a two-day dead raccoon" found as roadkill by himself the night before.
A handful of people came to view the morning's sittings,perhaps as they had little better to do at so early an hour.
A deep gong sounded and the whispers died.From a door at the back strode High Judge Chucky Pancamo wearing the powdered wig and ink black robe of his profession.Pigofsteel visibly blanched on seeing who presided,having been led to believe that his role was to act in a mere pantomime only.As Chucky took his seat on the dais and ordered his pencil and papers only the distant sounds of the city could be heard along with the occasional gulping sound from the accused. -
Roger stood up and listed the charges,"Oyez,Oyez,Oyez,the accused mister Pigofsteel has been accused of dabbling in necro-threading and banal posts.Court is now in session,let justice prevail and tongues be quiet in their heads."
"The injured party?The accuser?," spoke the judge without looking up from his notes.
"Here milord.Motherfucker be my name and motherfucking be my trade milo..".
"SILENCE",barked Roger,cuffing the offender across the unruly thatch of manure coloured hair.
"Pardon milord",Motherfucker begged,receiving another blow in the process.
"Lord judge,if I may speak?".Chucky nodded thoughtfully and belched magnificently,redolent of beer which apparently gave the floor to Pigofsteel."I was incarcerated two days before on hearsay evidence only and forced to share a cell with a fox-eared rogue with the utensil of a prize bull and feel hard put-on to say the least". -
"WHAT'S THIS about hard-ons?! I have no room for that coarseness and crudity while I hold court.Another week with the bull should show you the error of your ways from whence you will be allowed to walk or crawl free.Court dismissed."
Pigofsteel gibbered as he was dragged away at which Motherfucker hooted and whistled."You sirrah,you too shall know the caress of the amorous bull for your vulgar display in my court",declared Chucky,sending his bailiffs to apprehend Motherfucker."Good day to you all",here judge Chucky exited without looking left or right.All rose and spoke well of the justice served,casting furtive glances over their shoulders. -
Why haven't I read this earlier? 👍
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Visɧɓuɱe wrote:
I plead guilty as charged.Roger stood up and listed the charges,"Oyez,Oyez,Oyez,the accused mister Pigofsteel has been accused of dabbling in necro-threading and banal posts.Court is now in session,let justice prevail and tongues be quiet in their heads."
"The injured party?The accuser?," spoke the judge without looking up from his notes.
"Here milord.Motherfucker be my name and motherfucking be my trade milo..".
"SILENCE",barked Roger,cuffing the offender across the unruly thatch of manure coloured hair.
"Pardon milord",Motherfucker begged,receiving another blow in the process.
"Lord judge,if I may speak?".Chucky nodded thoughtfully and belched magnificently,redolent of beer which apparently gave the floor to Pigofsteel."I was incarcerated two days before on hearsay evidence only and forced to share a cell with a fox-eared rogue with the utensil of a prize bull and feel hard put-on to say the least". -
Slayer and Deús were losing patience with the street vendor who had just sold them two "pickled tripe on sticks".Sure enough he had reached out and had grabbed the coin,but then rather than return the change owed,he had grown misty eyed and babbled as if lost in a reverie -"Easy my prize young creatures,the night is young yet.Show a leg,ahhh,that's the way of it.Hitch up them skirts or cast them off young devils.Nimble fingers catch the leaps just so,"-here a silver thread of spittle ran down the old man's chin,"A fine glow I shall have on those hams,my sprites.Cruel ye are to taunt my virtue so with such a jolly show.Tempting TARTLETS!"
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"Oh,the cruelty of it.A display of delectable fruit jellies to beat the band.The fun to be had.Light-legged capers and twists in the air,oh,oh,oh the cheeky shame of it my tasties,truly finely executed pirouettes,my word.I shall take you all away with me to Naboir hoo,oh,oh I shall.Naboir Hooooooooo."
He was brought back to the now by the sensation of being crushed as Slayer and Deús took turns to leaping upon his thorax,for not only had he neglected to proffer their change,nor was it that the "brine" was suspect,rather it was the utterance of "Naboir Hoo" that the pair realised that he was the one who had gatecrashed their friend Dova's birthday party the night previous,but had fled the scene on nimble feet on their arrival,yelling "Naboir Hoo" in his wake. -
This is good. Gonna have to read through the whole thing sometime. Keep if up
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Good God I can't get enough. "I feel hard put on to say the least" is entering my business correspondence from now on 😂😂😂😂😂
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"Psst"
We turned around and located the source of the sound.The twinkle of an eye could be glimpsed in the hole of a disused whiskey barrel.Through the lidless top a moony face with eyes set close together and lank black hair appeared.It faced us with rosy red cheeks and a lumpy nose cross-hatched with broken veins as a small hand fed biscuits into its gob which it ingested with quick snaps of small tobacco stained teeth.Noisily swallowing the morsels,the creature confessed to be wearing not a stitch and slyly smirking and batting its eyelids it withdrew back down into the barrel.From the barrel it began to sing in a reedy voice of affairs of the heart and the necessities of its body.A "poot" erupted from the hole and the creature within declared its fundament to be positioned and ready for anticipated carnal pleasures. -
Swampdonkey,who happened to be passing,fetched a stout stick and provoked a yelp from the occupant as he jabbed the stick deep and true into the hole.Swamp worked with a will,turning the stick this way and that,in and out,clockwise and anticlockwise,unfazed by the squelching and cries of protest.Finished,Swamp stood back and looked at the barrel with grave eyes and grimly set jaw.He wiped the perspiration from his brow,plugged the hole with a cork,and sealed the top with its lid,muffling the sobbing and cursing from within.The barrel was then placed onto its side and rolled down into the river where it sank slowly,pleading to gurgling,to the bottom.
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Lol...it gets better with every new entry👍👍
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Love it👍
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Guys were the peasants the people with low mob cool
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