Bad jokes
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What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot
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What goes bam and and is stored in pots?
Explosives
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Why'd Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock Knock, who's there?
Not Sarah. -
What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?........
Nacho cheese..
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Three legged dog walks into a saloon and says, "I'm lookin' fer the man what shot my paw."
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Your moms so fat that when you told her you were going to the Super Bowl she grabbed a spoon.
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Why'd the plane crash?
A bomb.
Why'd the cars crash?
A bomb.
Why'd the boat sink?
Your mom got on. -
What did the kid with no hands get for Xmas? Gloves... Just kidding. I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
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ɱɪʟқ wrote:
Funny chitWhy'd Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock Knock, who's there?
Not Sarah. -
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies. -
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
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〓Տɧɑƌøա₭ɪɲɠ〓 wrote:
HahahahaaaWhat did the kid with no hands get for Xmas? Gloves... Just kidding. I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
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I literally came up with this one.
Why do Buddhists shave their heads?
Because no one likes the smell of burning hair.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station. -
4nick8r wrote:
Why did the skeleton cross the road?Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.To get to the body repair shop
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Look... I'm gonna make this pencil, disappear!
(Guy runs over to table where pencil is)
(I slam the pencil into his face)
Ta-Da!!!!
Taken from The Dark Knight
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Did you hear about the Mexican who had 2 pesises, he called one Hose A and the other one Hose B. (Get it? Hose A-Jose). Groan !!!
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Frodo Baggins wrote:
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?4nick8r wrote:
Why did the skeleton cross the road?Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.To get to the body repair shop
He didn't have the guts to. -
Why'd the plane crash?
The pilot was a loaf of bread. -
Youre such a reject yo moma tied a steak around your neck just so that the dog will play with you
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Yo mama so fat that Taco Bell announced her as the newest 7 Layer Burrito
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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
—Where's my tractor?What's green and has wheels?
—Grass, I lied about the wheels. -
So this guy walks int a bar, sits down and orders a drink. He has been there for just a short while when his cell phone rings. He hits his hand, leans on the bar, and proceds to talk to his hand. After a while of this, he "hangs up", and everyone asks, "why were you talking to your hand"? The guy replies, well, got tired of losing my phone, so i had it implanted in my hand. This goes around the bar, and everyone thinks is cool. Well, after a while, the guy asks the barkeep where the restroom is, and the barkeep tells him. Well, he has been in there for a while, and the barkeep gets worried. So he goes into the restroom, finds the guy spread eagle against the wall, toliet paper hanging out of his butt. The barkeep bit concerned asks the guy if he is alright, the guy replies, "Shhhh, i am receiving a fax!"
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What did the orphan with no arms get for Christmas?
AIDS from a toilet seat.
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King of Chaos wrote:
Lmao...What did the orphan with no arms get for Christmas?
AIDS from a toilet seat.
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4nick8r wrote:
Why did the abstract surrealist cross the road?Frodo Baggins wrote:
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?4nick8r wrote:
Why did the skeleton cross the road?Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.To get to the body repair shop
He didn't have the guts to.Tomato monkey
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Where did Sally go during the explosion?
Everywhere
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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone??
She was hit by a bus.
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Two dyslexics walk into a bra...
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Did you hear about the dyslexic satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa.
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How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family
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