♠Turrrfa™😖 is very ill and needs your help.
Forums › General Discussion › ♠Turrrfa™😖 is very ill and needs your help.-
♠Aⅅⅅ ϮuƦƑ₳♠ wrote:
It's the poem I live by.... I MEAN..... I enjoy it, so I memorized it.... I MEAN... Im a lady, it should only be in mens bathrooms! ..... Sigh 😔Queen Nicole wrote:
Lol. That poem is written on most of the guy's toilet walls at TAFE (kinda like a trade-school in Australia lol) ... Every time I saw it I used to shake my head and attempt to cry. Lol.As I sit so broken hearted, tried to shit but only farted.
Than I walk and at a glance, felt a fart but shit my pants...
Hope you smiled ;) lol or felt disgusted, either/or it's better than feeling sicky 😘 -
Don't. Judge. Me. Lol
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LMAO!!!! Queen Nicole, I love you right now 😊❤
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♠Aⅅⅅ ϮuƦƑ₳♠ wrote:
Hehehe Mwah!! 💋💋💋LMAO!!!! Queen Nicole, I love you right now 😊❤
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♠Aⅅⅅ ϮuƦƑ₳♠ wrote:
Your not a dick(at least I don't think so). You'll figure something out for your sister. Don't worry👍👍👍👍👍In reply to everyone's messages, I don't feel any better, but I don't feel any worse either. Silver lining right there, eh? 👍✌
I do appreciate the support. I'm hoping to be better soon ... wait, did I need to say that? Lol. It's my little sister's 18th birthday tomorrow, and I just realized I haven't bought her a present. Man, I'm a dick. 😖 ... I'll work something out for her though.
SeñoritaMafioso, I'm in no state of mind to try writing anything technical. Lol. Sorry ma'am.
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Get well. Could use a bit of the two personalities you have on the forums. 👍
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18th birthday you say, I'm coming down the Hume Highway.... Where do I turn off????
😺😺😺😺
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Queen Nicole wrote:
Ahahahaha!! That's hilarious nic! I'm saving that.As I sit so broken hearted, tried to shit but only farted.
Than I walk and at a glance, felt a fart but shit my pants...
Hope you smiled ;) lol or felt disgusted, either/or it's better than feeling sicky 😘
Get better soon Turfa! And if you find out what sickness you have, let us know!!!!! -
Aw man... 😔
Oh I'll do one!!! 😄 See you in a few minutes...hehehe...
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As I was meandering merrily down the antarctic one fine summer's decade, the most obnoxious, orange mailman scathingly destroyed me, stopping me in my tracks. "Look here," I said, slapping my nose at him destructively, "That was terribly spicy of you. I demand an apology."
The mailman sniffled at me crazily and destroyed me again, this time with both lungs.
"Excuse me!" I said, this time more whimsically. "Desist at once, or I shall be forced to caress you. You're a very questionable mailman, I must say."
"I can't stop," the mailman said protectively. "You see, my mother was a dentist, my father was conniving, and the trauma was just too much. I'm dirty as a cat, I'm energetic to say."
At hearing his lethargic story, I felt for him. But I ate the evil butthead anyway and moved on.
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I'm gonna do another cuz it was fun!!!
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YOU wrote:
Oi, I saw you posting in another thread. Now what is the address for your 18 year old sisters birthday?????18th birthday you say, I'm coming down the Hume Highway.... Where do I turn off????
😺😺😺😺
🎂🎉📦🎈💝
👆see cake and party supplies. 😋
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Someday I want to ditch this veterinarian job and become a film director. I have a great script for an action movie.
It starts out with the badguy, Clarissa "Tornado" Argh, hijacking a taxi. The old banker fights him off, but Argh starts firing his gun and hollering his signature line, "Yuck, bystanders!" He ties this one dude up and force feeds him a pint of syrup, so the audience knows this Clarissa character is mean and destructive.
Enter our hero, Turfa Rainbow, who is a rookie optician. He is desperate, because of a mysterious mishap with a puppy. The old banker, it turns out, was his bff, so he chases the badguy down in a series of arrogance-packed chase scenes that take place in semis and tricycles. It climaxes with a face fight in an igloo.
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"You'll never get away with this!" Turfa Rainbow yells as he punches "Tornado" Argh's face.
"Yuck, bystanders!" Argh hollers back.
Rainbow beats Argh, but it's not over yet! There's an explosive lampshade that a theif is unwittingly carrying to the very heart of Los Angeles! Rainbow races against time, snatches a hamster ball away from the theif, pulls out the lampshade inside, and defuses it with just 81 seconds to spare!
Of course, it turns out that Argh isn't really dead. "Yuck, bystanders!" he screams, leaping to his feet and flexing his mighty stomach muscles. But then Rainbow skewers him with a water drop, and it's all over.
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Thnkng of yu! 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙WIZZOO!
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Hyena wrote:
Dude. She's my sister. 😳😡18th birthday you say, I'm coming down the Hume Highway.... Where do I turn off????
😺😺😺😺
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Thanks again everyone :)
Hyena, I don't trust you. You can't come to her party. You're a creepy person. Haha
SeñoritaMafioso ... you're actually insane. I just decided. But ... I like it. In fact, I love it lmao 😂😂😂👍👍
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SkyTheLimit wrote:
Special thanks! I hope you're doing well too! Hugs coming your way! Xoxo WIZZOO!Thnkng of yu! 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙WIZZOO!
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So we have this chex-mixy/gardetto-y mixy stuff and I like the pretzels best which is weird because normally they're my least favorite but I was eating them and then I poured a glass of lemonade that my mom had made yesterday for a little get together thing we had and I ate some pretzels and then took a swig of the lemonade and when the two combined IT FRICKIN TASTES LIKE EGGS!!! I am not sure how that works but now I can't stop because even though they both taste better SEPERATE—holy crap spell check just all caps-ed that—it's so weird that I have to eat them together because it's weird and crazy and DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!
NO CAT GET AWAY FROM THE BIRDS!!!
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I super love the Avengers movie I've seen it four times and I plan on seeing it more I just watched like alllll the hero movies that led up to the Avengers but I hadn't seen the first Hulk so I watched it online and man was it WEIRD!!! I like the second one much better and the guy that plays Bruce Banner in it and I didn't really like the Banner from the Avengers since they got a new actor but hey what're ya gonna do? Ha, I love Hulk.
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I hate algae. You know the green slimy stuff that grows on rocks and makes em all slippery and stuff. Algae is the world's biggest cock blocker for me. Let me explain.
Okay, it's approximately 4 years ago, and I'm buy a man made lake jogging near the water, when I spot a girl I've been trying to talk to. Naturally, this seems like the perfect time to say hello, but there is one problem, I am clumsy as hell. As I'm running, the algae must have seen me and shouted put sliminess output to maximum, because once I hit that patch of inconspicuous green, I slipped and did a full scorpion. For those of you who may not know what a scorpion is, it is when you faceplant so hard, the tip of your toe taps the back of your head. I'm pretty sure I terrified the girl because when I got out of the muck I looked full-on swamp monster and I was staggering around from shock. Imagine explaining that to somebody. -
Fast forward two years...
Same pond, different situation. This time I'm carefully walking and talking to a potential girlfriend who has yet to see me be umm "graceful." Anyways algae sees me, remembers me, and assumingly says to its collective self, "this bitch must want some more," because yet again, I find a way to slip in the green goo, effectively ending any relationship possibilities.
I know algae is extremely vital to any ecosystem, but when I find a way to make a Raid type spray for exclusively algae, I am going to drop millions of gallons of it on the world. Fuck algae. -
SeñoritaMafioso wrote:
I'm trippin'. I must be trippin'. Lmao! 😂👍♠✂♠
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Turfa, go to sleep.
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Tweek wrote:
I only just saw Bad Bean's posts just then. And I'll admit, I loved his story. Epic!!!👍😂Turfa, go to sleep.
Tweek, it's 2:26am here and I'm finally feeling healthy. I seem to get better each night. So I savour it. Then, I'm sick all morning when I wake up. It drives me nuts 😒
Anyway ... I suppose I should go to bed. Lol. Night all 👋✌
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See, when you say you like the insanity it only encourages me... 😔
You know what I hate? Children. I picked up my lil bro from school, and they're all around me, doing and saying and thinking stupid child things. And boy are they obnoxious. Grr... (no offense to people with kids. Even I was a child once, and I would've hated myself, too. In fact, I think I would have hated my child self especially, because—as my mom loves to remind me—I had all the traits that I hate in kids)
I'm going to eat some lemonade-iced tea now.
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My bird is barking.
No really, it's true.
His body's green
And his head is blue.His name is Sheldon,
And we're trying to teach
Him to say "Bazinga!"
But he just likes to screech.So I was playing peekaboo with him around a corner; whenever he said "Peekaboo" I'd pop out and say it too. But one time he said it and I didn't pop out, and he waited a few seconds, then just screamed it really loud, like "I'M WAITING!!!"
😂😂😂 -
It woulda been even funnier if he actually DID scream 'I'm waiting!' lmao 😂😂
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♠Aⅅⅅ ϮuƦƑ₳♠ wrote:
LoL😂😂It woulda been even funnier if he actually DID scream 'I'm waiting!' lmao 😂😂
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Dear Sweetheart,
I lay awake all week thinking of you, your sparkling smile, and our tryst in the sky. Respectfully, I recall our meeting, how my heart entrusted with surprise when I first saw you. How brown you looked in that pink sock and those two detrimental shirts on your lymphnodes!
I cherished every moment we were together and was exquisite when our date came to a close. I can't say how distastefully I regret spilling lemonade on your naval; you were scared about it, however, for which I am grateful. You are so beautiful when you're scared.
You're expensive most other times. Your eyes are like deep pools of hot chocolate, warmed in the moonlight. Your cheeks are as rosy as zebras. Your lips are like succulent granola bars. Your hair is turquoise like a parrot on a summer's day. Your fingers are two enormous trapezoids of determination.
I can't wait to seek with you again. Write soon.
Frighteningly,
Your Friend
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