A Message to God
Forums › General Discussion › A Message to God-
Are you there God? It's me, Jesus.
The kids in South Park are in real trouble, and I'm not sure what to do.
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Omg you're awesome Brown!
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Lmao
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What did they say to Jesus when he was carrying the cross......?
You drop that one more time and you are out of the parade....
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😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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I've got a parade in my pants.
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Remember "The Crow"?
Jesus walks into an inn, throws 3 nails on the counter and says: "I'm dead tired... Can you put me up for the night?"
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What did Jesus say to Peter while hanging from the cross?
Hey I can see your house from here.
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What does the INRI on the cross stand for?
I'm Nailed Right In...
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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Jesus!
Jesus who?
Uhhhhhh...
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Sgt. Mayday wrote:
Let him come down and defend himself then.Please stop this and delete this thread. The debate threads were bad enough, but this is insulting God.
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I thought that was a very clean joke. I'm actually trying hard to avoid the really bad ones.
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Here's a good one:
🍻Top 10 reasons that beer is better than Jesus:
10. Nobody will kill you for not drinking beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
7. Beer has never caused a major war.
6. When you have a beer, you keep it all to yourself.
5. Nobody has ever been burned at the stake or tortured over a beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.
3. There are laws saying that beer labels cannot lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a beer.
1. If you are devoted to beer, there are groups that can help you quit.
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Sgt. Mayday wrote:
Coming from a person who passes judgement and condemns others for their beliefs. You openly speak out against homosexuals, people who smoke or drink etc. Crawl back into your hole.Please stop this and delete this thread. The debate threads were bad enough, but this is insulting God.
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Sgt. Mayday wrote:
If he's insulted, he can use his own godly powers to delete the thread? Or even ask brown himself to delete it.Please stop this and delete this thread. The debate threads were bad enough, but this is insulting God.
I'm sure God has better things to worry about then some petty humans making jokes about him.
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Brown🎵Note😲 wrote:
Here's a good one:
🍻Top 10 reasons that beer is better than Jesus:
10. Nobody will kill you for not drinking beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
7. Beer has never caused a major war.
6. When you have a beer, you keep it all to yourself.
5. Nobody has ever been burned at the stake or tortured over a beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.
3. There are laws saying that beer labels cannot lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a beer.
1. If you are devoted to beer, there are groups that can help you quit.
#9 is debatable.
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41Fivin' wrote:
Good point!Brown🎵Note😲 wrote:
Here's a good one:
🍻Top 10 reasons that beer is better than Jesus:
10. Nobody will kill you for not drinking beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
7. Beer has never caused a major war.
6. When you have a beer, you keep it all to yourself.
5. Nobody has ever been burned at the stake or tortured over a beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.
3. There are laws saying that beer labels cannot lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a beer.
1. If you are devoted to beer, there are groups that can help you quit.
#9 is debatable.
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Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father. He looks high and low but cannot find him.
He asks St. Peter "Where is my father?" But St. Peter says he doesn't know.
He asks the archangel Gabriel "Where is my father?" But Gabriel doesn't know.
He asks John the Baptist "Where is my father?" But John does not know. So he wanders Heaven, impatiently searching.
Suddenly he sees out of the mist an old man coming toward him. The man is very old, with white hair, stooped over a little. "Stop!" Jesus yells. "Who are you?"
"Oh, please help me, I am an old man in search of my son." Jesus is very curious. Could this be his father? "Tell me of your son, old man."
"Oh, you would know him if you saw him. Holes in his hand where the nails used to be, he was nailed to a cross, you know..."
"Father!!!!!" Screams Jesus.
"Pinocchio!!!!!!!" yells the old man.
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These forums have been quite entertaining as of late... Some master trolls out there haha!
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41Fivin' wrote:
HahaBrown🎵Note😲 wrote:
Here's a good one:
🍻Top 10 reasons that beer is better than Jesus:
10. Nobody will kill you for not drinking beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
7. Beer has never caused a major war.
6. When you have a beer, you keep it all to yourself.
5. Nobody has ever been burned at the stake or tortured over a beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.
3. There are laws saying that beer labels cannot lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a beer.
1. If you are devoted to beer, there are groups that can help you quit.
#9 is debatable.
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Sgt. Mayday wrote:
I bet he's too busy fighting Satan. He'll not be bother Mayday!Superyan wrote:
He could. And no, he's probably not mad. Just sad at the way people reject and mock him.Sgt. Mayday wrote:
If he's insulted, he can use his own godly powers to delete the thread? Or even ask brown himself to delete it.Please stop this and delete this thread. The debate threads were bad enough, but this is insulting God.
I'm sure God has better things to worry about then some petty humans making jokes about him.
He's mighty enough to not be effected by little jokes. I think you should follow his example and ignore the remarks being made? :) -
Sgt. Mayday wrote:
Just some banter, people trying and succeeding on having a good time. Maybe you can lighten up a bit and just embrace what is on the forums.Superyan wrote:
He could. And no, he's probably not mad. Just sad at the way people reject and mock him.Sgt. Mayday wrote:
If he's insulted, he can use his own godly powers to delete the thread? Or even ask brown himself to delete it.Please stop this and delete this thread. The debate threads were bad enough, but this is insulting God.
I'm sure God has better things to worry about then some petty humans making jokes about him.
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A Jewish businessman sent his son to Isreal for a year to absorb the culture. When his son returned, he said, "Papa, I have converted to Christianity."
"Oy Vey!" said the father.. "What have I done?"
He went to his best friend for counsel. He said "Funny you should say that. I too have a son I sent to Israel and he also converted to Christianity! Perhaps we should talk to the Rabbi!"
The Rabbi said: "Funny you should say that! That happened to me, too! What is happening to our young people?"
As they began to pray, a booming voice from above said: "Funny you should say that. I, too sent my son to Israel..."
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A little girl is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying her eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"
The little girl turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car -- and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."
The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"
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This thread makes me feel bad and insulted. Please delete it really insults me.
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Why are there no jokes about Jonestown?
Because the punchline is too long.
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Brown🎵Note😲 wrote:
I don't get it 😓Why are there no jokes about Jonestown?
Because the punchline is too long.
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🍟ßᎥ₲ ҡэṼчƝ🍟 wrote:
Brown🎵Note😲 wrote:
I don't get it 😓Why are there no jokes about Jonestown?
Because the punchline is too long.
Google Jim Jones and Jonestown.
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A new priest at his frist mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied: "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door:
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1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are ten commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not refered to as Daddy, Junior and Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as Big T
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body," he did not say, "Eat me!"
12. The Virgin Mary is not refered to as the "Mary with the Cherry."
13. The reccommended grace before a meal is not, "Rub-A Dub-Dub, Thanks for the grub, Yeah God."
14. Next Sunday, there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's. -
Brown🎵Note😲 wrote:
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂41Fivin' wrote:
Good point!Brown🎵Note😲 wrote:
Here's a good one:
🍻Top 10 reasons that beer is better than Jesus:
10. Nobody will kill you for not drinking beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
7. Beer has never caused a major war.
6. When you have a beer, you keep it all to yourself.
5. Nobody has ever been burned at the stake or tortured over a beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.
3. There are laws saying that beer labels cannot lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a beer.
1. If you are devoted to beer, there are groups that can help you quit.
#9 is debatable.
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