Ok a gentlemens game.
Forums › General Discussion › Ok a gentlemens game.-
Hello forum crawlers! I have seen the recent threads asking for advice, ect... And have looted 4 title deeds which mean nothing to me. So I am going to host a challenge. I would like all thecomedians out there to give me your best jokes. The 4 winners will have their codes as the name of my turf. Anyone can apply. Good luck.👍
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Limit 1 joke per person.
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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream?
Cause he was hit by a bus🍦🚶🚌💨 -
When does it end?
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What has six balls and screws you twice a week???
The lottery!
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vapor fly wrote:
May after 20 entries.When does it end?
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Once there was a squirrel who didn't pay enough protection money while one of Bruener's turf was on top of it. Bruener killed it with his ax. Haha it's funny cause the squirrel gets dead.
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This sentence doesn't contradict itself; no, actually it does.
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Horse walks into a bar. Barman says 'Why the long face?'
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What kind of guy happens to scream 'Fire!' when there is a House Fire going on?
The Fireman that tripped on the hose into the burning door.
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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes were glazed. The other hunter whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What do I do?!" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Okay now what?"
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What do you call a cow that just had a baby?
Decaffeinated.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 -
A Mexican and black guy are in a car, who's driving?
The Cops
( no offense ) -
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, “Give me six double vodka.”
The barman says, “Wow! you must have had very bad day.”
“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said, “What the hell? Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”
“Yes, my wife…” -
Women'r rights. ( No offense)
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TheUnknownEnemy wrote:
That shit is funnyTwo hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes were glazed. The other hunter whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What do I do?!" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Okay now what?"
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
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Once I get 20 jokes( not posts) I will give everyone 5 min to post then after I will look at the jokes and then pick our 4 funniest winners!
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I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF COMEDY, HAHAHA!!!
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Mickey Dunn and Misty Dunn.
Together, they've finished. 😉 -
Best joke? Probably came from your dad not using a condom.
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A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads:
Sisters of St. Francis Brothel and Escort Agency, 10 miles
He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says:
Sisters of St. Francis Brothel and Escort Agency, 5 miles
Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real. Then he drives past a third sign saying:
Sisters of St. Francis Brothel and Escort Agency, Next Right!
His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a Small sign next to the door reading:
Sisters of St. Francis
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?", he answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."
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"Very well, my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.
The nun stops at a closed door, smiles, and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup.
This nun instructs, "Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup. He trots eagerly down the hall , smiling and then slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.
As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:
Go In Peace, You Have Just Been Screwed By The Sisters of St. Francis, Serves you right!!
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Whats the difference between a guy jumping off 10th floor and another guy off 50th floor?
Ans: the ahhhh~ -
What does a Toronto Maple Leafs fan do after they win the Stanley Cup? Turn off the xbox.
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We have 14 jokes do far only 6 to go
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TheUnknownEnemy wrote:
👍👍👍👍Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes were glazed. The other hunter whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What do I do?!" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Okay now what?"
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Regular naps prevent you from getting old. Especially if you take the while driving.
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🔥⚡κrᎥااᎧא🔥 wrote:
👍👍👍 I lol'd so much at this.TheUnknownEnemy wrote:
👍👍👍👍Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes were glazed. The other hunter whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What do I do?!" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Okay now what?"
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How did the Pope make everyone cheer at him, at the Yankees stadem, when Barroc Oboma asked him to prove it?
He haved his hand so he would back fist Barroc Oboma.
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Zedman5000 wrote:
Never been referenced in a joke beforeOnce there was a squirrel who didn't pay enough protection money while one of Bruener's turf was on top of it. Bruener killed it with his ax. Haha it's funny cause the squirrel gets dead.
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