Need a little help please
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Ok guys, I'm really torn and I need some suggestions. Here goes
My dad died when I was 6, I'm 22 now. My dad had a sister, who just disappeared when I was 8. And when she disappeared, she took the life insurance money that my dad had kept for me for college. A large sum, over 30k. For 5 years my entire family tried to contact her, with no luck. Well, tonight her and her daughter contacted me on Facebook. After more than 10 years, and she wants to see me, catch up. What do I do? I mean, should I be angry for what she did, or should I forgive her since she is the last person in my family who shares my last name and is the only other person who is directly related to my dad.
I know this is just a game, and it's my problem and not yours, but I have that some of you give great advice. I would like some of that advice please 👍
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Have noticed*
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Picasso I have no right to tell you what you should do or feel but i would talk to her and then decide if you are angry or not
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I would try to talk to her and see what happened since then like how she found you and how she is doing. Make a friend. Though maybe try to get what is rightfully yours. She might have been greatly remorseful of what see dud to you for all you know.
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YOU wrote:
*she didI would try to talk to her and see what happened since then like how she found you and how she is doing. Make a friend. Though maybe try to get what is rightfully yours. She might have been greatly remorseful of what see dud to you for all you know.
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She's out of money and needs more. Be very weary. Just because she has the same last name does not make her family. To be family it takes a lot more than that. If you can talk to your family that you know and ask them for background and the story of what happened. You were a child when you last saw her and there is no tie to her anymore. Asking her back into your life could be asking for some serious heartache.
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Yeah she is somewhat family, at least talk to her and let her know how you feel about it, but don't hold a grudge, that's the worst thing you can do :(
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I would talk to a lawyer first.
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Are you in debt?
Have you been to college
Is college important to you?
Did she have a reason to take the money?
Did she have bad debt?
Do you think she can repay you?There are too many factors in this equation that have been left out.
I can tell you this. Love is love. And if she doesn't love you, she doesn't deserve to have a relationship with you.
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Wow, It blows me away people could do that to their own blood. I personally wouldn't speak to her. Honor and integrity are important to me and when you cross that line I never forget, but that's just me.
If you can find forgiveness then it's possible to have a relationship with her, but be wary as she has proven herself to be untrustworthy. -
She fleeced you out of a future. Infiltrate and destroy! --
^^^you've played too much TW when -
vinnie the deal wrote:
She's out of money and needs more. Be very weary. Just because she has the same last name does not make her family. To be family it takes a lot more than that. If you can talk to your family that you know and ask them for background and the story of what happened. You were a child when you last saw her and there is no tie to her anymore. Asking her back into your life could be asking for some serious heartache.
PattySmack wrote:
Yeah. Don't go running with arms wide open yet.I would talk to a lawyer first.
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If she completely disregards and doesn't aknowledge what she did ten years ago, I'd say you were better off without her. But if she can face it, and at leAst aknowledge it, let alone apologize. I'd say she deserves at least a sliver of your time and grace.
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PattySmack wrote:
👍👍👍👆I would talk to a lawyer first.
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PANTERA. wrote:
You don't know her side of the story.. You can't just blame her for everything and shut her out.Wow, It blows me away people could do that to their own blood. I personally wouldn't speak to her. Honor and integrity are important to me and when you cross that line I never forget, but that's just me.
If you can find forgiveness then it's possible to have a relationship with her, but be wary as she has proven herself to be untrustworthy. -
Dr. Seuss wrote:
I have been and graduated from college. I owe about 10k in student loans, and I live paycheck to paycheck, but I am comfortable.
I am not sure if she could repay, but I do know that right around the time she left, she was in the process of getting a divorce.
To vinnie, I understand where you are coming from, but I literally have lost just about all of my family. I have been 17 funerals, all family. 13 of which happened before I hit 12 years old. I have 8 ppl in my family, including myself. So family is VERY dear to me, because I have lost so much. I am afraid to be angry, for I might lose her again -
Well, that quote didn't quite work out...FYI I wrote that, not Dr Seuss lol
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PattySmack wrote:
Someone else told me this, but really? I mean, wouldn't I need mass proof? As far as I know there is none, besides the fact that everyone in my family knows she did it. Besides, wouldnt that be sorta wrong to sue a family member?I would talk to a lawyer first.
(as you can see, I am a VERY...loving(?) person, I hate to hurt others. That idea just seems so wrong to me
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Add RaiKou wrote:
If she completely disregards and doesn't aknowledge what she did ten years ago, I'd say you were better off without her. But if she can face it, and at leAst aknowledge it, let alone apologize. I'd say she deserves at least a sliver of your time and grace.
Completely agree
Everyone deserves a second chance and there is always to sides to a storyListen to her side, see if she Is remorseful and decide by yourself
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Two*
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Ғʟuƒƒ ϻA͜ՏϮeʀ wrote:
It doesn't matter what her side of the story is, she stole money that wasn't hers. Plain and simple. And 10+ years later she out of the blue comes back into the OPs life? Give me a break.PANTERA. wrote:
You don't know her side of the story.. You can't just blame her for everything and shut her out.Wow, It blows me away people could do that to their own blood. I personally wouldn't speak to her. Honor and integrity are important to me and when you cross that line I never forget, but that's just me.
If you can find forgiveness then it's possible to have a relationship with her, but be wary as she has proven herself to be untrustworthy. -
🎨℘íƈⱥʂʂǿ🎨 wrote:
Try to mend the relationship. Family IS important. Keep your money to yourself though.Dr. Seuss wrote:
I have been and graduated from college. I owe about 10k in student loans, and I live paycheck to paycheck, but I am comfortable.
I am not sure if she could repay, but I do know that right around the time she left, she was in the process of getting a divorce.
To vinnie, I understand where you are coming from, but I literally have lost just about all of my family. I have been 17 funerals, all family. 13 of which happened before I hit 12 years old. I have 8 ppl in my family, including myself. So family is VERY dear to me, because I have lost so much. I am afraid to be angry, for I might lose her againI can't imagine how you must feel. I feel like a spoiled brat 😞 my life has been so easy. Best of luck! And I hope she turns out to be wonderful lady.
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And btw I've been marveling at your name. I'm so jealous :)
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Dr. Seuss wrote:
🎨℘íƈⱥʂʂǿ🎨 wrote:
Thanks Doc. And don't feel bad, my mom spoiled the shit outta me. Emotionally. Yes life had been tough, but I've always had a home, great upbringing, intelligent, etc etc. so dont feel bad. I used to yell at my mom when I didn't get what I wanted too :) thank you so muchDr. Seuss wrote:
Try to mend the relationship. Family IS important. Keep your money to yourself though.I can't imagine how you must feel. I feel like a spoiled brat 😞 my life has been so easy. Best of luck! And I hope she turns out to be wonderful lady.
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Dr. Seuss wrote:
Haha thanks. 41fivin gave me the design, but it comes from my XBL gamer tag, Picasso of WarAnd btw I've been marveling at your name. I'm so jealous :)
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🎨℘íƈⱥʂʂǿ🎨 wrote:
PattySmack wrote:
Someone else told me this, but really? I mean, wouldn't I need mass proof? As far as I know there is none, besides the fact that everyone in my family knows she did it. Besides, wouldnt that be sorta wrong to sue a family member?I would talk to a lawyer first.
(as you can see, I am a VERY...loving(?) person, I hate to hurt others. That idea just seems so wrong to me
I'm a lawyer. It's probably too late to sue her as the statute of limitations is only a few years and it would probably cost you more money and aggravation than it's worth. But if you decide to interact with this aunt of yours, be very careful about your money. Once a crook, always a crook. Don't be surprised if she has an urgent need for money after the honeymoon period of getting back in touch is over.
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Lots of good suggestions up above. The only thing I really can tell you is if you don't talk to her, regardless of the outcome, you will regret it the rest of your life. I believe that it would be better to know what she has to say and accept or reject based on what you feel after you have heard her out. But the little bit of doubt that is wondering "what if" will always be there if you don't give her a chance. Hear her out. Think about it and consider the options. Make up your mind.
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get close to her, ask to borrow some money for something important like rent or a car & don't pay her back
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Matt Adore wrote:
Really? This is a serious thread. GTFOget close to her, ask to borrow some money for something important like rent or a car & don't pay her back
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Picasso I am terribly sorry for your losses and I agree family is important. But you only have one life to live and a right to be happy. If someone is not a positive influence on your life then you need to consider whether they belong in your life. I have chosen to wipe a narcissistic wife, father and sister. I have kept close the family and friends that have a positive influence on my life. Sure give her a chance I gave all of mine years and years before I made my decision. You can always change your mind later when you have the knowledge to make an informed decision
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Thank you ALL for the help, guidance, advice. This still isn't easy for me, and I still don't know how I am going to approach this situation, but I have much to think about, and lots of great advice to use. Thanks everyone, the TW community really is an amazing one! 👍❤👏
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