Need help with a friend
Forums › General Discussion › Need help with a friend-
I've noticed a lot of posts about sad stuff recently and imma bring up one more (sorry)
Its not about me it's about my friend. Shes 14 and She's a cutter and I've helped her thro it before and I thought I helped her quit but she's back at it again. Her parents are divorced an she gets to see both of them but shes mostly wit her dad. Her dads a Nazi Christian (he's not an actual nazi hes just so Christian that he's unchristian [pm me if you want to know about how he's too Christian]) he used to always make her feel horrible because he would always point out her flaws and show how she wasn't perfect. It used to be different and she was very close to him and could talk about anything with him. He realizes over the holidays that he needed to fix their relationship and he talked to her about it and she was so happy. His new idea about "fixing their relationship" is ignoring her and not talking to her completely shutting her out.
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Her mom is horribly unhealthy and could die any given day and won't stop telling my friend wht she wants when she dies. It makes my friend feel like she's a failure and no on could love her.
Her relationships with other people have not gone the best and that makes her feel even worse.
I've tried talking with her recently but nothing's seems to work. I used to give great advice but now I'm all dry on ideas and thought I'd come here as one of my last resorts (one of the next is child services which might make her happier after a while but I'm not positive about that. Child services are ready to step in anyways if something big happens)
Thanks for your help and prayers
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Well, if her father believes he is a Christian, then he must know how Christ died for us. He died for ALL of us. He loves US so much that he would give his very life. Wouldn't that be great to know, that you are so special, that an Almighty God sent His one, very own, Son?
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I've tried telling her that already. She's a Christian but she doesn't understand.
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She needs professional therapy. Child services might be the best thing that could happen for her. Most cities have good group therapy where she'll learn skills with other kids in similar circumstances. It's all about learning coping skills. Like riding a bicycle or any other skills, sometimes life needs a users manual.
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I see how she wouldn't... For now, all I believe we can do is pray...
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Praying is fine but your friend needs DBT therapy. Look it up.
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Tell her to talk to me (not creepy at all) I've been through it all and helped many get past things like this
Easiest way to reach me would be through an app called
txtplus username is (TRIPOUT) I work thrusdays and Fridays at night so I won't be able to answer during that time.As far as professional help I don't believe in it. It might help others but other ppl just need a good friend (which would be you) and a change of view in life (which would be me) despite all I go through I still hold strong and try to keep the comedy fresh. Laughter is the best medicine there's other alternatives but laughter helps heal all. So yea
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wow...i've been in the same sort of boat...
my dad passed away when i was 6. thats when the beatings started off my mum. then i started rebelling. tried suicide and everything. i've been too therapy and anger management over it, the therapy helped in many ways but my anger is getting much worse. i know how it feels too be degraded by a parent and feeling that it is your own fault doesnt help at all.
she should be proud of a friend like you. we all need one. -
Fong wrote:
This! You should try counselling first, go with her if that's what it takes! If u straight call child family services, she may take that as the ultimate betrayal from one of the only support systems she has(you). If that doesn't work then call CFS before it's too late.She needs professional therapy. Child services might be the best thing that could happen for her. Most cities have good group therapy where she'll learn skills with other kids in similar circumstances. It's all about learning coping skills. Like riding a bicycle or any other skills, sometimes life needs a users manual.
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Sister Shadow wrote:
Your an idiot! Wait long enough and you can pray for her dead body! If u pray hard enough he'll put a second story on your house too! Moron!I see how she wouldn't... For now, all I believe we can do is pray...
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originalbones wrote:
Calm down! Everything works out according to God's plan. He knows how she feels and knows that she is struggling. Praying for her is huge, but also acting on it. Doing something like enrolling in therapy together would be great.Sister Shadow wrote:
Your an idiot! Wait long enough and you can pray for her dead body! If u pray hard enough he'll put a second story on your house too! Moron!I see how she wouldn't... For now, all I believe we can do is pray...
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Sister Shadow wrote:
Well, if her father believes he is a Christian, then he must know how Christ died for us. He died for ALL of us. He loves US so much that he would give his very life. Wouldn't that be great to know, that you are so special, that an Almighty God sent His one, very own, Son?
I'm agnostic, each to his own yada, yada. But come on man. Just because the father of this poor girl is Christian doesn't mean it justifies his wrongdoings!
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Mr. Beefy0 wrote:
Of course it doesn't. And people like that give Christians a bad reputation everywhere. He's in a position where he could make things so much better by showing the love of Jesus to this girl. To the OP, do everything you can to make her understand that she is loved more than she ever thought possible, and that her life has immense value. It's not really something you can simply make someone understand, but being a friend is crazy helpful.I'm agnostic, each to his own yada, yada. But come on man. Just because the father of this poor girl is Christian doesn't mean it justifies his wrongdoings!
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Whoops...didn't format that one right.
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The way I see it, the father's treatment of your friend is where most of this is coming from. He needs to be talked to, have his eyes opened so he can see that flaws aren't that bad. Your friend needs to tell her father that he cannot treat her this way, just shutting her out. Its not right. You don't fix something by ignoring it. Maybe if your friend told her father how all of this was affecting her, how sad and depressed it made her, the father would see that he has to change for his daughter. I would even go as far as to say she should ask him what happened to them being close, could he really be a good dad, or even a good person, not to mention a good christian, if he's just distancing himself from his daughter while these problems are eating away at her? I wish your friend the best of luck.
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Something is leading me to think that the father being a
Christian isn't the issue, this is a parenting issue... It's common with many families Christian and non Christian. -
If you can't approach the parent's you need to do the right thing and tell someone with the authority to investigate it. Her school, her pastor, someone... It could easily cost you the friendship, but if it helps her get healthy and you do care about her, then it will hurt, but be worth it. It could save her life. The way it's going, it's not going to get better left alone. I know it's easy to sit here and type that you need to tell people about her problem, but it's really the only way to handle this situation. You aren't a professional and you might find one or two on here, but for the most part none of us are either and don't know shit about how to help her. Best wishes.
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Thx for the help guys. She can't afford therapy tho. They are super poor and they eat at McDonalds cuz they can't afford food anywhere else.
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vinnie the deal wrote:
I'm sitting here typing because everything I tried to do has helped but only temporally. I'm running out of options and thought I could ask on here and see if the tw community could help at all. Not have someone yell at how unprofessional I amIf you can't approach the parent's you need to do the right thing and tell someone with the authority to investigate it. Her school, her pastor, someone... It could easily cost you the friendship, but if it helps her get healthy and you do care about her, then it will hurt, but be worth it. It could save her life. The way it's going, it's not going to get better left alone. I know it's easy to sit here and type that you need to tell people about her problem, but it's really the only way to handle this situation. You aren't a professional and you might find one or two on here, but for the most part none of us are either and don't know shit about how to help her. Best wishes.
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originalbones wrote:
Dude WTFSister Shadow wrote:
Your an idiot! Wait long enough and you can pray for her dead body! If u pray hard enough he'll put a second story on your house too! Moron!I see how she wouldn't... For now, all I believe we can do is pray...
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vinnie the deal wrote:
well that was negativeIf you can't approach the parent's you need to do the right thing and tell someone with the authority to investigate it. Her school, her pastor, someone... It could easily cost you the friendship, but if it helps her get healthy and you do care about her, then it will hurt, but be worth it. It could save her life. The way it's going, it's not going to get better left alone. I know it's easy to sit here and type that you need to tell people about her problem, but it's really the only way to handle this situation. You aren't a professional and you might find one or two on here, but for the most part none of us are either and don't know shit about how to help her. Best wishes.
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I think you've taken me wrong. In no way did I even suggest that you've done something wrong. I simply made the point that you are in a rough situation to help someone who is going through such a terrible time.
I commented that you are not a professional so there is no way that you can know what to do. I'm not a professional and don't know the best thing to help. I said that you might get lucky enough to find a professional on here but it's not likely.
I'm not being rude and certainly didn't mean it that way. I just wanted to express that it's not easy but getting this girl the professional help that she needs is the right thing for you to do.
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🔥Add MOOB🔥 wrote:
I agree. I don't think any of that was called for.originalbones wrote:
Dude WTFSister Shadow wrote:
Your an idiot! Wait long enough and you can pray for her dead body! If u pray hard enough he'll put a second story on your house too! Moron!I see how she wouldn't... For now, all I believe we can do is pray...
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Nadarrah, I hope that you have recieved SOME help from this thread, and that you received my message. Be good.
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