🎅Christmas jokes!!🎅

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🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 Dec 25, 2011

Why was Santa's helper depressed? He had low elf esteem!
Why is Santa's sack so large?
He only comes once a year!
Jeff 🍆 Newton Dec 25, 2011

I like the second one
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 Dec 25, 2011

What do you call Santa when he goes done a lit fireplace?
Krisp Kringle
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 Dec 25, 2011

Which reindeer is the most impolite?
"rude"olph
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 Dec 25, 2011

What do sheep in Mexico say during Christmas?
Fleece navidad!
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 Dec 25, 2011

What do you Put on reindeers for Christmas?
Hornaments!
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 Dec 25, 2011

What does a transvestite do for Christmas?
Eat, drink, and be Mary!
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 Dec 25, 2011

This one is a bit dirty!
Santa Claus makes his way down the chimney, and is met by a lovely young woman in a robe.

She says "Santa, how about giving me a special present. I know you'd like to come into my bedroom."

Santa responds "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know."

The lovely young thing peels off her robe, revealing a skimpy negligee. Santa looks up from his sack of gifts, and she says "I've got something special for you Santa. Can't you stay for just a little while? I know you want me. Let me make this Christmas eve unforgetable."

Santa responds "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know."

Not to be denied, she strips off the negligee, revealing her naughty bits, and they were quite nice naughty bits, I might add. And she says "Santa, this is your last chance. This body is your gift."

Santa responds "Hey! Hey! Hey! Gotta stay. Gotta Stay. Can't get up the chimney with my c*** this way!!!."
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 Dec 25, 2011

Santa walks into a strip club and says.....
A. Hoe hoe hoe!
B. Hurry up I need to unload this package!
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 Dec 25, 2011

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today ?"
Johnny raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." and Robert, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Robert how he knew this. and Robert said, "Well.....every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 Dec 25, 2011

What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies ?Snowballs.
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 Dec 25, 2011

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.
zephyr f Dec 25, 2011

badbean wrote:
What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies ?Snowballs.

Lol
N_O_O_B Dec 25, 2011

Why is Santa always happy?
He know where all the naughty girls live.
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 Dec 25, 2011

Lol