What's your best DIRTY joke?

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fum Sep 21, 2011

did you hear About the guy with 5 penises? His condom fit like a glove!
GreenManXphile Sep 21, 2011

I have a bunch of funny sex positions explanations. More of a stand up joke some friends and I wrote. If you'd like to hear them.
thepunk💔 Sep 21, 2011

GreenManXphile wrote:
I have a bunch of funny sex positions explanations. More of a stand up joke some friends and I wrote. If you'd like to hear them.

Hit me.
GreenManXphile Sep 21, 2011

punkass wrote:
GreenManXphile wrote:
I have a bunch of funny sex positions explanations. More of a stand up joke some friends and I wrote. If you'd like to hear them.

Hit me.
Ever hear of the "Oops"idactal? Its done by fucking a girl from behind on a bed. Then when you are about to cum, you stick it in the other door. That's the oops. The dactyl is when you grab both sides of the bed and pull the sheets up quickly. Then you start screeching as loud as you can like a terodactyl while flapping your newly acquired bed sheet wings. Then after you finish, you get dressed, and leave without saying anything. On the way out, drop a copy of jurrasic park on her floor with your phone number on it in permenant marker. If she calls, she's a keeper. Or she has a mental condition. One of the two... Its not an exact science.
thepunk💔 Sep 21, 2011

That's good...ready good !!!
slugboy Sep 21, 2011

I was driving along the other day when I had a momentarily lost concentration and drove into the back of the car in front of me, the female driver got out, walked to my car and shouted through the window 'ram me up the arse why don't you!!'
And that your honour, is where the misunderstanding began.
wangberg Sep 21, 2011

A guy was walking down the street when he slipped and fell into a mud puddle.
BigBK Sep 21, 2011

wangberg wrote:
A guy was walking down the street when he slipped and fell into a mud puddle.

That IS dirty
__Don_Line__ Sep 21, 2011

wangberg wrote:
A guy was walking down the street when he slipped and fell into a mud puddle.

Nice one, lol.
Nailz was here Sep 21, 2011

I was lying in bed with my girlfreid when she said
"my boobs are to small, I should get a boob job"

"hmmm" I replied. "my hands are to small, what do u think I should do?"

"do u want a handjob?"

she's a keeper
plug uglie Sep 21, 2011

Nailz⚡ was here wrote:
I was lying in bed with my girlfreid when she said
"my boobs are to small, I should get a boob job"

"hmmm" I replied. "my hands are to small, what do u think I should do?"

"do u want a handjob?"

she's a keeper

so true
🔥TheC⌖ntract⌖r🔥 Sep 21, 2011

A pig fell into a mud puddle LOL......
fum Sep 21, 2011

What's the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? At least the hooker stops fucking you when your dead
LAWRENCE😮‍💨 Sep 21, 2011

I fell in to a muddy puddle!!!

Get it, a DIRTY joke?
LAWRENCE😮‍💨 Sep 21, 2011

__Don_Line__ wrote:
wangberg wrote:
A guy was walking down the street when he slipped and fell into a mud puddle.

Nice one, lol.
that was me
__Don_Line__ Sep 21, 2011

⚡ Ⓛⓐⓦⓡⓔⓝⓒⓔ ⚡ wrote:
__Don_Line__ wrote:
wangberg wrote:
A guy was walking down the street when he slipped and fell into a mud puddle.

Nice one, lol.
that was me
he put that comment down before you did...
'ᏦᏐ🍴ΞᎡᏟᎻΞF™ Sep 22, 2011

A boy fell in mud.

Clean one:
he took a shower
thepunk💔 Sep 22, 2011

YOU wrote:
GreenManXphile wrote:
I have a bunch of funny sex positions explanations. More of a stand up joke some friends and I wrote. If you'd like to hear them.

Hit me.
Hit me again, dude I know you got some more...
ЖФMiniФЖ Sep 22, 2011

Why does Santa have such a bug sack?
Because he only chums once a year.