Jokes

Forums › General Discussion › Jokes

krazijay Apr 22, 2011

Anyone have any good jokes? Could do with a bit of cheering up n a laugh ,as have had hear stroke for 2days. And pls no controversial jokes,not that I care as a joke is exactly that,but just out respect for all
p.s I wish I had one to start off with,but can't think of a single one(don't want to cheat and n use google,lol)
krazijay Apr 22, 2011

And b4 any smart Alec jumps in......yes I know my mob is a joke ;-(
∆Ƿɦɵɛƞıҳ∆ Apr 23, 2011

Yo momma like a shotgun.
One cock and she blows.
fydge Apr 23, 2011

I bet my broth $20 off a stupid bet , won the bet, and my parents wouldn't let me collect the money hahaha wait theats not funny
Marky G Apr 23, 2011

Doc rings a husband of patient &explains "yr wife is here & I'm afraid there has been a mix up with her test results so we don't know if she's got Alzheimer's or Aids" the man replies"what am I supposed 2do then? doc answers "I'm going 2put her on the wrong bus, if she finds her way home don't fuck her!"
krazijay Apr 23, 2011

Marky G wrote:
Doc rings a husband of patient &explains "yr wife is here & I'm afraid there has been a mix up with her test results so we don't know if she's got Alzheimer's or Aids" the man replies"what am I supposed 2do then? doc answers "I'm going 2put her on the wrong bus, if she finds her way home don't fuck her!"

That is brilliant, have hear alzeihmers /aids joke b4 but not as good( was along lines of doc tells patient there's good news n bad news, patient says what's bad news then ? Doc say u have aids ! Patient says "damn,well I could do with the good news now" so the doc say u also have alzeihmers and will forget by morning)
☠GAMEOVER☠ Apr 23, 2011

A mushroom walks into a bar, and the bartender says "we don't serve your kind" and the mushroom says "why not I'm a fungi(fun guy). 😜
krazijay Apr 23, 2011

A man walked into a bar........Ouch!!!
Marky G Apr 23, 2011

"Hush little gooner don't you cry, you can't win a thing no matter how hard you try, hush little gooner don't say a word , you've slipped up in the league n you'll probably finish 3rd, hush little gooner you've fucked it up, you couldn't even win the the carling cup, hush little gooner lifes not fair another season without any silverwear"
krazijay Apr 23, 2011

No no no, this is a joke thread, unfortunately that's reality! Lol
Marky G Apr 23, 2011

A crowd of blokes outside a pub and a woman walks past, one bloke says to his mates "I would give her one." The woman turns around and replies "I would not have sex with you, if you were the last man on earth." The bloke answers "who said anything about sex? I was marking you out of ten you fat cow."
fydge Apr 23, 2011

Your mob is a joke lol
Ʈℍㅌ ʘㄕㅌℝ₳₮ミℝ Apr 23, 2011

Marky G wrote:
A crowd of blokes outside a pub and a woman walks past, one bloke says to his mates "I would give her one." The woman turns around and replies "I would not have sex with you, if you were the last man on earth." The bloke answers "who said anything about sex? I was marking you out of ten you fat cow."

Or he could have said... If I'm the last man on earth, who is going to stop me?
james87 Apr 23, 2011

Sickipedia....