The Monday News
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It's monday, and y'all know what that means!
HBK capped TBT's favourite turf, for those 1 or 2 of you keeping track. It takes a village to find a photograph worth 65,000, but it will evolve your Firm-chu into Stealth Force-chu. Baptist 469 claims double free don points on this Happy Veterans Day, and it takes about 35K hits to create a safe zone in Bismarck. Jesco White is getting COD: Ghosts tonight: He's got 5K bitches to play with him. Dumbarse; only four can play at a time locally. >_>
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Wolfe,I like your style.Well done.
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...Mickey had to avoid hitting the 5,000 people running around celebrating Veteran's Day. Meanwhile, he questioned the stealthiness of discussing safety pins in the Monday news.
In other news, Bismarck has evolved from a safe village to a world alliance. It's become known for its mad hit men and traditional hamburgers. However, there are 0 Srawfrut trees. Locals say the Subway isn't worth a 💩 though. Fires tend to occur late at night, so if you hear a knock on your door, grab your walrus & run!
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Thanks Vish. I appreciate it. :)
Nice bonus paragraph, Mystery. Pretty funny.
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In World News:
One Mad Squid committed a grievous Sin today by flinging thongs at Taz. Taz had been trying to Big Iron Buck (BIB) from hitting the road in his '71 VW Bus. BIB had a list of 1,000 farms that sold Sour Pickles. He thought he could use the Sour Pickles to get all the Canadians drunk, thus achieving Global Supremacy. Sadly this was a Fallacy.Bystanders found it hard to believe that Taz untangled himself from the 85,000 thongs in time to quietly prevent BIB from bullying the Canadians. One observer commented that it was "just like a scene from Breaking Bad." The nexx(t) comment can be summed up in one word: "Wooooohoooo!"
The Canadians, sensing a change in the winds, voted to remove Sour Pickles from Canada. The vote was 6:1, in favor of removal. Sadly, Canadian leader Getch missed the roll call, so he was unable to respond.
Meanwhile, the U.S. griped that they were left with Sour Pickles but no maple bacon. This was quite a heartbreaker for many.
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In U.S. News:
All hats have gone missing. While no regular hats can be found, there is an abundance of caps. Many people blame this on the Bay Area Income. Others think a Kentucky clerk failed to square things away, allowing outlaw(s) 500 days to snatch all the hats. It's rumored that the hats were exiled to Vegas.In Sports:
Mobs gathered around the country to protest the NFL's complaints that the turf on their playing fields is dying. The mobs claim that the turf is actually "Marvlas." The worst disturbance occurred in Boston. The unruly mob flung ear wax and chanted "Dreamsmasher!" It's a Mystery as to how this complaint will affect the start of the season or the NFL's new slogan, "I Cando it." -
I just realized this is the 2nd time Taz was featured in one of my "news articles." I had totally forgotten about the one from before, lol.
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Mystery wrote:
Hmmmmm that's not good. Taz tries to shy away from the lime light.I just realized this is the 2nd time Taz was featured in one of my "news articles." I had totally forgotten about the one from before, lol.
Nice recap.👍
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In GS this evening:
Asterix* is in love with the coco, and will buy the world to prove it. (*Most likely paid for the new update)The 'Last Post Game' has had some interesting topics lately. Mostly to do with philosophy and the passing of time, and occasionally just catching up with old friends. Participants say the game will last an 'Undefined' amount of time.
Also, being a copy-cat is now known as "Pulling a Chucky Pancamo".
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Mystery wrote:
How long did it take to write the script?In U.S. News:
All hats have gone missing. While no regular hats can be found, there is an abundance of caps. Many people blame this on the Bay Area Income. Others think a Kentucky clerk failed to square things away, allowing outlaw(s) 500 days to snatch all the hats. It's rumored that the hats were exiled to Vegas.In Sports:
Mobs gathered around the country to protest the NFL's complaints that the turf on their playing fields is dying. The mobs claim that the turf is actually "Marvlas." The worst disturbance occurred in Boston. The unruly mob flung ear wax and chanted "Dreamsmasher!" It's a Mystery as to how this complaint will affect the start of the season or the NFL's new slogan, "I Cando it." -
The script? You mean my "news articles?" Idk - I didn't time it. I was just goofing around this am before I got on TW. (I opened the forum in Safari.)
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Mystery wrote:
Can you do this every week/2 weeks. This was brilliant.The script? You mean my "news articles?" Idk - I didn't time it. I was just goofing around this am before I got on TW. (I opened the forum in Safari.)
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Mystery, you are hilarious! 😂😂😂
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WOW don't ya just love too read the news, well funny guys and gals keep it going. 😂👍🏼
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Oh cool, there I am👍🏼 Definitely entertaining and should continue
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fun6754 wrote:
Lol, anyone can contribute at any time. I mean, gosh, it wasn't even a Monday when I posted.Mystery wrote:
Can you do this every week/2 weeks. This was brilliant.The script? You mean my "news articles?" Idk - I didn't time it. I was just goofing around this am before I got on TW. (I opened the forum in Safari.)
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Breaking News:
Beware of a Bounty Hunter running around & trying to punch your Johnson! To prevent a possible attack, play your favorite song 71,000 times.One unlucky soul said having his Johnson punched made him see one trillion stars and utter, "poog."
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:) cool
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Reporting to you live from Friday's:
Tonight's menu is sinful. Service tonight will consist of bacon wrapped squid or blood pudding, followed by hare or trout. Cannoli fill the dessert tray. Beverage selections include red wine and water. It smells delicious!
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