Jack Handey - Deep Thoughts

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PSALM40 Mar 8, 2011

"If you'r a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet its real embarassing if someone tries to kill you" - Jack Handey

Whats your favorite one?
If this was done already let me know :)
BellaItaliana Mar 8, 2011

Oh jeez, I'll have to google them or think really hard to come up w/ them off the top of my head. Been too long. :)
Tom Servo Mar 8, 2011

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
PSALM40 Mar 8, 2011

Tom Servo wrote:
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

The first time I heard this on SNL I was cracking up. It's been my fav since
Tom Servo Mar 8, 2011

"Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind. "
tha goddmotha Mar 8, 2011

You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he's sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
 mama tek Mar 8, 2011

"to me it's always a good idea to always carry around two sacks of something when you walk around. that way if anybody says, 'hey can you give me a hand?' you can say 'sorry, I've got thees sacks.'"
Jimmy Needles Mar 8, 2011

Thank you all for opening my eyes to this!! It may be because I'm from the uk and in my late 20's that I've not heard of this guy, but this is my favourite type of comedy! 👍