BEST JOKE!
Forums › General Discussion › BEST JOKE!-
whats the best joke out there?
you be the judge!!!!!
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You.
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A dirty old farmer walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep under his arm. Seeing his wife in bed he says "This is the pig I have to f*ck when you're not up for sex". His wife pipes up and says "I think you'll find that's a sheep" to which the farmer replies "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!".
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Paddy's driving down the road when he gets pulled over by the police, officer says to paddy, have you been drinking sir?, paddy replys yes officer, I've had 9 pints of larger, 4 rum snatches and 2 bottles of wine! Officer replys, well what you doing driving? Paddy replys, I couldn't fucking walk!
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👿MRS_KILLER G👿 wrote:
😹😹😹A dirty old farmer walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep under his arm. Seeing his wife in bed he says "This is the pig I have to f*ck when you're not up for sex". His wife pipes up and says "I think you'll find that's a sheep" to which the farmer replies "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!".
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fkwit wrote:
This one!You.
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VANDALIZM wrote:
Lmfao. I usually hate these.Paddy's driving down the road when he gets pulled over by the police, officer says to paddy, have you been drinking sir?, paddy replys yes officer, I've had 9 pints of larger, 4 rum snatches and 2 bottles of wine! Officer replys, well what you doing driving? Paddy replys, I couldn't fucking walk!
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👿MRS_KILLER G👿 wrote:
I lol'd at this one.A dirty old farmer walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep under his arm. Seeing his wife in bed he says "This is the pig I have to f*ck when you're not up for sex". His wife pipes up and says "I think you'll find that's a sheep" to which the farmer replies "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!".
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What did the number 0 say to the number 8. That's a nice belt you're wearing
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why is 6 scared? 789
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'Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me'.
Said my late wife.....
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krissharm wrote:
The full joke is why is 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 789why is 6 scared? 789
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ok here are a few top notch ones:
1. what is much worse than a hippy drum circle?
Nothin
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2. what's the most commanding day of the year?
"Maaaarch Foooooorth!"
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3. how do u kill a circus really fast?
Stab it in the juggler.
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Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other "Do you know how to drive this thing?"🐡🐠
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Mr. Satsuma wrote:
☺Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other "Do you know how to drive this thing?"🐡🐠
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Two cows are munching away next to each other in a big paddock when 1 cow lifts up it's head, looks around and calls "Moooooooooooooo", the other cow lifts it's head quickly and says "You bitch, that's what I was gonna say!!!"
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👿MRS_KILLER G👿 wrote:
LMFAO!Two cows are munching away next to each other in a big paddock when 1 cow lifts up it's head, looks around and calls "Moooooooooooooo", the other cow lifts it's head quickly and says "You bitch, that's what I was gonna say!!!"
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Man comes over to priest right after sermon...
Man: that was a damn good sermon sir.
Priest: Thank you my son, but the lord doesn't like cursing.
Man: but I was pretty damn impressed!
Priest: the lord forbids cursing especially in his house!
Man: yes, but I was so damn impressed I put $500 in the collection.
Priest: NO SHIT!? 😳 -
!ZAZ wrote:
LOL!! ROFL!! ROFLMAO!!Man comes over to priest right after sermon...
Man: that was a damn good sermon sir.
Priest: Thank you my son, but the lord doesn't like cursing.
Man: but I was pretty damn impressed!
Priest: the lord forbids cursing especially in his house!
Man: yes, but I was so damn impressed I put $500 in the collection.
Priest: NO SHIT!? 😳 -
This is a religious joke, it's not actually very funny: three men were golfing and were debating over how much money they were going to donate to their church. One man said, "Let's draw a circle on the ground and toss some money in the air. Whatever lands in the circle, we donate." The second man said, "No, whatever lands OUTSIDE the circle, we donate." The third man said, "I say we throw some money in the air, and whatever god wants, he'll take."
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A man walks into his bedroom to find his wife packing a suitcase, intrigued he says "Where are you going?". His wife says "To New York, I heard the prostitues over there get $400 a time doing what I do for free!". The wife then notices her husband is packing a suitcase, so she asks "and where are you going?" to which he replies "Im coming too because I want to see how you are going to live on $800 a year, bitch"
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An old lady is going about her business one day when a cop pulls her over because she was carrying two very large, suspicious looking suitcases. "What's in the bag there ma'am?" asks the officer,
"well...I go to the back of the bleachers and when a guy is taking a whizz I say, "$10 or IT comes off" and so it's full of cash.
Officer: "so what's in the second bag?"
Old lady: "well, not everyone wants to give...." -
Kozy wrote:
Its the way I tell em!krissharm wrote:
The full joke is why is 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 789why is 6 scared? 789
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👿MRS_KILLER G👿 wrote:
We have decided. This is the funniest joke here. Lol thank youA dirty old farmer walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep under his arm. Seeing his wife in bed he says "This is the pig I have to f*ck when you're not up for sex". His wife pipes up and says "I think you'll find that's a sheep" to which the farmer replies "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!".
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Are those white m&ms in Ur pocket or are u just happy to see me😏
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Chuck иorris wrote:
Wow boringAre those white m&ms in Ur pocket or are u just happy to see me😏
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A man gets of work then proceeds to spend the rest of the evening in the pub. He gets so drunk he can barely walk let alone drive so he leaves his car at the pub and walks home. Stumbling his way home he is seen by a police officer who quickly walks up to him.
"Hey buddy are you okay?" the policeman asks
"Yesssir officcer j'just bina drinkin" replies the man
"And where are you going?"
"To*hic*too a lecture"
Now the policeman is curious so he inquires further.
"Who is giving a lecture at 3 in the morning?"
The man smiles and says
"My wife"
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