☠️ UNION PLAYER RATINGS ☠️
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☠️ UNION PLAYER RATINGS ☠️
Extensive scouting. Zero bias. Appeals ignored.BASS — 62 OVR
Whines about loot, quits, requires approved teammates. Plays like a 62, carries himself like a 99. Ego: 100.WASTED — 64 OVR
Actually cool. Commitment variesKILGORE — 38 OVR
We waited to be impressed. We’re still waiting.ZOOM — 53 OVR
Message Aggression: 99. War Aggression: 34. Disappears when frustrated, tries an alt. Skill issue follows him.DUIR — 79 OVR
Fast healer, annoyingly hard to keep down. Joins vendettas. Always very proud of himself.CHAPLAIN — 45 OVR
Provides spiritual services to team immediately following ass beating.OSU — 56 OVR
Pick-me division. Delivers “Facts” confidently while remaining impressively gullible. Fact Checking: 12.WULFIE — 42 OVR
Suspiciously innocent. We don’t trust it.
Pretty chill.DEBERG — 23 OVR
Here to troll, not cap. Can’t keep up with his own storyline. Drama: 98. Damage: 2.WIZARD — ALT
That’s an alt. Next. -
DOG POUND — 38 OVR
Turns jealousy into drama, then somehow makes it everybody else’s group project. Emotional Stability: 7.MR. D BAIC — 36 OVR
Appears at bizarre times, accomplishes nothing, disappears. Probably a deep-rooted alt.CYRUSDAVIRUS — 62 OVR
Bored old man. Takes creative liberties with the rules, then whines anyway. Grievance Department: 100.FUNKYHAZE — 54 OVR
Name created during an event we are advised not to reinvestigate.RAIDER NATION — 88 OVR
Strong player. Throws tantrums. Thinks very highly of himself. Needs to be the main character✨BONS — 65 OVR
Emotional. Requires an assigned babysitter. Supervision Required: 100.CHUCKY — 53 OVR
Doesn’t have it like he used to. Former magician? Disappeared.JOEY 🍩’S — 16 OVR
Definitely an alt. Screams instability. Donut gives +11 morale.LAW773 — TBD
Scouting department currently has nothing. That may itself be the report.CRUSHER7 — ALT
That’s an alt. Next. -
AQUAMAN — 97 OVR
Excellent fatty. Relentless. Unfortunately sentenced to carrying a shit team.VINCE VEGA — ?? OVR
Who is this? No, genuinely. Who the f*ck is Vince Vega?VLAD — 79 OVR
Surprisingly one of the few who stuck it out. Not as fun as he used to be, but still shows up for V’s. Reluctant respect awarded.MOOSKILL — 38 OVR
You did what? No further questions.SINAKILL — 31 OVR
Killed CAPO/LEX more effectively than the opposition. Leadership: 4. Organizational Damage: 100.CROWLEY — 24 OVR
Starts shit. Disappears.
Accountability: AWAY.NATAS — 45 OVR
Selfish player. Useless without the alt collection. Alt Dependency: 100
Strength in numbers?
Solo Performance: 12.LIMITLESS — 46 OVR
Surprisingly not limitless. Performance declined significantly without large mob.DREAMSMASHER — 47 OVR
He’s here.DELBOY — 21 OVR
Plays like an alt. Terrible fatty.MURDERONE — 37 OVR
Currently getting murdered. Throws tantrums and would rather tear than fight. Name not holding up well. -
SICARIUS — 15 OVR
Doesn’t really do anything. Good V starter, though. Every organization needs support staff.FLEX NATION — ALT
That’s an alt.THE ENGLISH — 66 OVR
A proper fellow. Scouting report respectfully submitted before tea. ☕WHOD@ — ALT-ish
Who dat? Exactly. Giving main character vibes now.LOSER — 11 OVR
Self explanatory. We appreciate players who submit their own scouting reports.GORDI — 57 OVR
Would rather tear than get capped. Specializes in capping hop trails and baloney turf of people who can’t cap back. Very brave under the right circumstances. 😂YINZER — 43 OVR
Wishy-washy. Causes conflict, then points fingers like he just arrived and has no idea what happened.B4MBAM — 58 OVR
Sounds like a Flintstones character. Started off solid.CEO —pending OVR
Self proclaimed best Ranger in the game? Impressive resume headline. Confidence: 100. Verification: Pending.DAWG — TBD
Scouting file currently empty.FLASH — TBD
Awaiting evidence that he is, in fact, fast. -
LIVINIT — TBD
Not merely living. Livinit. Scouts require more information.ZEROMERCY — ALT
Goofy alt. Doesn’t qualify for a full evaluation.VROOM — ALT
That’s an alt. At least it makes car noises.OV CANOBI — ALT
That’s an alt. No further evaluations needed.STOOP — 11 OVR
Snoop’s slower cousin. Terrible Ranger. Emotional. Reaction Time: Eventually.LOL — ALT
That’s an alt. lol.MR. ROBOT — 13 OVR
Plays primarily for the press conferences instead of the turf. Needs to have all the answers while knowing remarkably little. Talking: 100. Capping: Please hold. -
🏆 OFFICIAL SCOUTING AWARDS 🏆
BEST OVERALL — AQUAMAN
Relentless. Tragically burdened by team.
FASTEST HEALER — DUIR
Pretty good, not the best.
DRAMA CHAMPION — DEBERG
MOST CONFIDENT WITHOUT SUPPORTING DOCUMENTATION — BASS
Ego remains undefeated.
ORGANIZATIONAL DAMAGE AWARD — SINAKILL
Why destroy the enemy when you can destroy your own organization?
BEST DISAPPEARING ACT — CHUCKY
Former occupation: apparently magician.
MOST LIKELY TO START SHIT & LEAVE — CROWLEY
Accountability: Away.
BABYSITTER REQUIRED — BONS
Adult supervision strongly recommended.
MOST ACCURATE USERNAME — LOSER
We appreciate the self-evaluation.FINAL RESULT:
Strong personalities. Questionable leadership.
Overall roster quality remains under review due to disappearing acts, tantrums, tearing, and several players whose primary contribution appears to be emotional.Complaints may be submitted directly to the head of our scouting department, Greedo, where they will be carefully reviewed and immediately disregarded by Poseidon.
Thank you🫶 -
As someone who has lurked around here for quite a few years i recognize a lot of these names. I'll be the first to admit they're all much better at the game than i am, but this is hilarious.
(Not Joey🍩s classed as an alt! Whose? We used to be in a syndicate in GS. 😅)
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Fucking spot on. These are the accounts who thought they ran the game. Turns out, you’re fungals bitch. Do something about it
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🐕 ⬅️🍆=🍄
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Ꮩϵⷲηͤ𓆩𓆪ϻͬ wrote:
Uhhh. What…..🐕 ⬅️🍆=🍄
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Alot of effort to disparage so many. Fortunately for us we don’t cheat on our spouses, get mocked for years over it. Then become a cuckold to the same people who mocked us and wished harm to our family members.
Facts are facts for those accounts who gave up the little dignity they had over a phone game. Unfortunately you’ll never be able to do anything about it other than constantly creeping on her pictures.
So many hours wasted throwing tantrums about sending the kids away just to stare at a phone game for days on end.
P.S. don’t forget about all those accounts reset while you’re making forum posts from an alt.
Must be sad to be so lonely.
🏴☠️
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Uhh. I’m a newer player and don’t know all of that lore. I just hope both teams have fun
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𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ♰ 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 wrote:
Lmfao! Those government checks are hard at work on TW 🤣Alot of effort to disparage so many. Fortunately for us we don’t cheat on our spouses, get mocked for years over it. Then become a cuckold to the same people who mocked us and wished harm to our family members.
Facts are facts for those accounts who gave up the little dignity they had over a phone game. Unfortunately you’ll never be able to do anything about it other than constantly creeping on her pictures.
So many hours wasted throwing tantrums about sending the kids away just to stare at a phone game for days on end.
P.S. don’t forget about all those accounts reset while you’re making forum posts from an alt.
Must be sad to be so lonely.
🏴☠️
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𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ♰ 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 wrote:
✨✨🤭🍿Alot of effort to disparage so many. Fortunately for us we don’t cheat on our spouses, get mocked for years over it. Then become a cuckold to the same people who mocked us and wished harm to our family members.
Facts are facts for those accounts who gave up the little dignity they had over a phone game. Unfortunately you’ll never be able to do anything about it other than constantly creeping on her pictures.
So many hours wasted throwing tantrums about sending the kids away just to stare at a phone game for days on end.
P.S. don’t forget about all those accounts reset while you’re making forum posts from an alt.
Must be sad to be so lonely.
🏴☠️
See how everything I said is game related facts and everything you said is made up bs that doesn’t fall within the scope of the game🫠
Sparkle on princess, sorry for hurting your feelings☹️ -
Hey if thats the spin you need to get through I understand.
One day that anger and loneliness will fade away.
The facts and truth I know, you know, 🤢 knows, beta kush knows as well as a bunch of others and that’s all that matters to me.
🏴☠️
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𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ♰ 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 wrote:
The scouting department appreciates the additional data.Hey if thats the spin you need to get through I understand.
One day that anger and loneliness will fade away.
The facts and truth I know, you know, 🤢 knows, beta kush knows as well as a bunch of others and that’s all that matters to me.
🏴☠️
It’s been noted. Unfortunately, emotional responses were already factored into the rating. -
😂😂😂😂😂
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Ah shit 🤣
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Emotions are a powerful thing. Kinda like how emotional you were every day over getting mocked for all those unfortunate circumstances.
Glad I was able to make a lasting impression, luckily I didn’t need a scouting department I witnessed those meltdowns first hand.
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𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ♰ 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 wrote:
I’m beginning to suspect Raider is taking this significantly more seriously than the scouting department.🤔Emotions are a powerful thing. Kinda like how emotional you were every day over getting mocked for all those unfortunate circumstances.
Glad I was able to make a lasting impression, luckily I didn’t need a scouting department I witnessed those meltdowns first hand.
For an 88 OVR, customer satisfaction is surprisingly low.😱We appreciate the continued feedback.
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The scouting department would like to thank everyone who enjoyed this completely unbiased and unquestionably scientific evaluation.
Overall reception has been entertaining. A select few participants also chose to provide additional data following publication. Their dedication to the evaluation process has been noted.
Ratings remain final. Appeals remain ignored.
Thank you for participating.🫶
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😂😂😂😂😂 The accuracy is superb!
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THEY CALL ME TOOTHLESS 😡
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🍄𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖓𝖊𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃ᴹ@ᴰ😡 wrote:
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡THEY CALL ME TOOTHLESS 😡
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𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ♰ 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 You still playing or you just a keyboard warrior now ?
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✠𐤠𐌃𐌃⤷𐤠𐌊𐌉𐌋𐤠✠ wrote:
The King found the unbias superb. And the scouting department is absolutely fabulous The King gives this a rating of 👑👑👑👑The scouting department would like to thank everyone who enjoyed this completely unbiased and unquestionably scientific evaluation.
Overall reception has been entertaining. A select few participants also chose to provide additional data following publication. Their dedication to the evaluation process has been noted.
Ratings remain final. Appeals remain ignored.
Thank you for participating.🫶
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I can't speak for 2026, but CEO gave me absolute hell in my one run in with Capo. Bro is good at the game. One of the best players I have personally been involved with.
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𖥠•𝕸𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖆𝖓•♘ wrote:
THIS is the kind of additional data the scouting department was asking for. 😂 CEO’s rating remains pending, but your testimony has been noted.I can't speak for 2026, but CEO gave me absolute hell in my one run in with Capo. Bro is good at the game. One of the best players I have personally been involved with.
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👹 JM 👹 wrote:
𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ♰ 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 You still playing or you just a keyboard warrior now ?
Technically probably a keyboard warrior. Realistically just calling out the other hypocritical keyboard warriors who want to taunt. Especially when they taunt about things they did and pretend they didn’t. Alts, whining, tantrums was all the rave daily trust that. Especially in the private conversations and rooms that they ran and controlled yet didn’t invite many of their puppets too.
Oh wait that didn’t happen either.
Funny thing is they hated you as well but now I see you also made him a beta. You always brag how tough you are. I couldn’t imagine you being a beta to people who mocked your family daily right?
Honestly I find it all amusing so thanks to all.
🏴☠️ KeyBoard Nation
🪥🤢
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This was well done 😂
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𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ♰ 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 wrote:
Bwahahaha lost Texel😭🖕👹 JM 👹 wrote:
𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ♰ 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 You still playing or you just a keyboard warrior now ?
Technically probably a keyboard warrior. Realistically just calling out the other hypocritical keyboard warriors who want to taunt. Especially when they taunt about things they did and pretend they didn’t. Alts, whining, tantrums was all the rave daily trust that. Especially in the private conversations and rooms that they ran and controlled yet didn’t invite many of their puppets too.
Oh wait that didn’t happen either.
Funny thing is they hated you as well but now I see you also made him a beta. You always brag how tough you are. I couldn’t imagine you being a beta to people who mocked your family daily right?
Honestly I find it all amusing so thanks to all.
🏴☠️ KeyBoard Nation
🪥🤢
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