🔞Sex Jokes🔞
Forums › General Discussion › 🔞Sex Jokes🔞-
So, people. I want to be socially accepted in school and the only way possible is to tell halariously funny (sex) jokes. I have done everything on the check list except
•Sex Jokes
So please help me make friends :) -
Download the free app called sickapedia...bloody brilliant! Hours of crude funny jokes!!
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James87♏🅿🅰 wrote:
brilliant thanks!Download the free app called sickapedia...bloody brilliant! Hours of crude funny jokes!!
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4 types of orgasm
Positive- oh yes oh yes
Negative - oh no oh no
Religious - oh god oh god
Fake - oh James87 oh James87!!! -
lu4 killa wrote:
Haha!!!4 types of orgasm
Positive- oh yes oh yes
Negative - oh no oh no
Religious - oh god oh god
Fake - oh James87 oh James87!!! -
Sorry James, "the noise" did not read right
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Old one....
John met his friend Bill after church and saw that he had two black eyes.
"Bill !! What happened?", he asked.
"Well", Bill said, "I was standing up to sing and looked down and saw the pretty girl ahead of me had her dress wedged in, well, you know where...so I reached forward and pulled it out...and she turned around and punched me in the right eye!!"
"I can see that, but what about your other eye?", John asked.
"Well, you see, since she didn't like that, when she turned back around I stuck it back in for her...."
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χɑɱɓɭɛɾ 👊🔨💀 wrote:
LololololOld one....
John met his friend Bill after church and saw that he had two black eyes.
"Bill !! What happened?", he asked.
"Well", Bill said, "I was standing up to sing and looked down and saw the pretty girl ahead of me had her dress wedged in, well, you know where...so I reached forward and pulled it out...and she turned around and punched me in the right eye!!"
"I can see that, but what about your other eye?", John asked.
"Well, you see, since she didn't like that, when she turned back around I stuck it back in for her...."
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A def couple are trying to figure out a way to communicate to the other if they want sex..The woman signs "If you want some, squeeze my breast 1 time for yes or 2 times for no" and the man signs back "If you want some pull my dick 1 time for yes or 150 times for no"
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Order now for Christmas the new Radio 1 Live Lounge with the cover versions you never thought you would hear;Susan Boyle - Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me.Stevie Wonder - I Can See Clearly Now.Nick Griffin - Black or White.Katie Price - Like a Virgin.Rihanna - Hit Me Baby One More Time.Michael Jackson - I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles.Josef Fritzl - Love Shack.Stephen Hawking - I'm Still Standing.
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The police kicked my door in last week & dragged me out of the house. They told my wife that I was wanted for male rape.To be fair, they let me go the next day, but my arse was so battered, I couldn't sit down for a week
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A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, ‘Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?’
The mother says, ‘It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings.’
The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, ‘Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant-- about 4 months, would be my guess.’
The mother says, ‘Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Darla?’
Darla says, ‘No mother! I've never even kissed a man!’
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, ‘Is there something wrong out there doctor?’
The doctor replies, ‘No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be damned if I'm going to miss it this time!’ -
A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. ‘Damn, that was stupid,’ she thought as she fell. ‘What a way to die.’
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, ‘Do you suck?’
‘No!’ she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her.
As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. ‘Do you screw?’ he asked.
‘Of course not!’ she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. ‘I suck! I screw!’ she screamed in panic.
‘Slut!’ he said, and dropped her. -
One day a boy comes home from school and says, ‘Dad, I really need to know
the meaning of hypothetically and realistically for school.’
The father replies, ‘Go ask your mother if she would sleep with another man for
1 million dollars.’ The little boy goes and asks and sure enough she says yes.
His dad says, ‘Ok now go ask your sister if she would sleep with a man for a million dollars.’ He does and sure enough she says yes. The father says, ‘You see son, hypothetically we are sitting on 2 million dollars but realistically we are
living with a couple of whores.’ -
What do a woman and a kfc have in common?
Once you're finished with the breasts and the thighs all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in!
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When asked if he preferred legs or breasts Paddy said that he had a particular fondness for shaved fannies. He was informed that this wasn't an option when choosing a KFC bargain bucket.
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