Hoarding
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Does anyone have experience with a family member who is a hoarder?
We just spent about 50 man/woman hours clearing out a 10x10 storage space, filled with mixed garbage, a lot of food, most expired, and some furniture which was okay. Can hoarding be “healed” or “cured”, or are we damned to deal with this forever ?!?
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I have a friend that lives with his mother who has a serious problem. Several years back, they were forced to leave their apartment and I helped them move. It was traumatizing.
The county checks up on them with “random” inspections and makes them keep some inches of floor space clear for safety purposes, or they will be forced to leave the current place as well.
They always fail, but correct just enough to pass on the “last chance” the county always gives them.
They go through extreme hardship as a result of their condition. They are VERY intelligent and very sociable.. But they don’t change. They seem blind to the problem. It’s heartbreaking.
I’ve never seen it “cured” personally. But maybe someone else here has.
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I’ve watched the “hoarders” show over the years, and thinking about my friend and what I’ve seen with them, kind of makes me doubtful that many of them can maintain the makeover they do for them. It feels like trying to “cure” schizophrenia.
In my limited experience, seeing the hell they go through for the amount of time they have been like this, without any improvement... It seems really hopeless.
There is some slight recognition of a problem, in my friend’s case though. I’ve never seen so many closet organizer clothes hangers still in their wrappers, and so many brand new boxed up vacuum cleaners than when I helped them move. They buy them all the time, but they just end up lost in the piles of junk.
I hate to say it, but I have no idea what to do about them. The theme of family members giving up on the show says it all right there. It feels hopeless.
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That’s what I feared
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My great grandfather had a 5500 sq ft home. When he died we had to clean it out. There were narrow pathways to walk. The rest of the house was filled. Sometimes from floor to ceiling. It took my family about 6 months to get it all cleared out.
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Oh man, that’s tough. Fortunately we don’t have 5500 square feet to deal with. Just two more 5x5 storage cubes, a good size mound in the basement of the house she lives in, her bedroom, probably a bunch of kitchen stuff, and the car.
We are moving her to a smallish 1 bedroom apartment, and 600 sq feet, and we figure someone will need to visit her at least once a week to keep her from backsliding
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"Cure" is not likely unless they are treated very early. But there have been cases that have had significant improvement using the combination of behavioral therapy and antianxiety/antidepressant medications. BOTH are needed long term for any significant improvement. Behavioral therapy is slow and potentially expensive.
That's my understanding, as a physician. But I am not an expert in hoarding. Probably best to find an expert.
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Seems usually something dramatic happen in these people’s lives and they never get the help they need . I’m not a expert but just the people I known that are hoarders
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Thanks big al; yeah, we are aware she needs therapy and medications but I’m not sure we will get the cooperation we need. And early isn’t possible; she’s 61 and has probably been doing this for 15 years, but it’s gotten worse in the last three
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Thanks Clint; I agree. She’s lost both parents and her sister, so her cousins (us) is all she has got.
Along with the hoarding come other strange things. She often doesn’t open mail. We’ve discovered multiple checks and tax refunds and such in our state’s unclaimed property website. She lives on a pretty meager income, and we assumed she had very little in the way of savings, so we spent 7k for a used car for her about a year ago. Turns out she had a savings acct marked “car” with $9,000 in it
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If you get a chance, on YouTube check out Curiosity Inc. Specifically their YouTube series on “Potter’s House”, “musician’s house”, and the one they just finished up cleaning out this week. Think Potters was about a year ago and musicians was 4 months ago. Each a much different situation and type of hoarding with some major surprises in the first two.
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First they need to realize it’s a problem. Second they need to find a psychologist the focuses on Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. I’m not sure if there is a “cure” but they might learn how to control the impulses.
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Are we talking circles or toilet paper?
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