From Road Kill to Sour Pickles

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Mystery Sep 12, 2015

I'm going to post some of my favorite comments from SP's wall here so they don't get deleted in 3 months or by SP if he deleted his other thread. They're too funny to be lost.

〓ROAD KILL〓 says:
Rabbits are fury and fun to play with. If you return the toaster and a small fee of 22 cents minus 20 cents you could be the hero of the clap your toes clan founded in the early 46th century by Jim fritzmonica who hunted toaster burglars with a fork.

2 days ago
Mystery Sep 12, 2015

〓ROAD KILL〓 says:
So one day I was riding my three wheeled unicycle up a down hill slope and fell into a sinkhole around the edge of the pacific rim of the Atlantic Ocean. It had to be at least a foot wide. I was scared to death and thought for sure I would be roadkill. But this Amazing individual who was as awesome as awesome can be,,,I mean he gives a new meaning to the newest meaning of Timothy fredricksons newer meaning of the older newest meaning of AWESOME!! His name is CK.....I just cried and wet my pants....wow is all I can say. Any way, he pulled me from that cavernous pit of a sinkhole using his telepathic grappling hook sporting dual hemisphere vw's with 65 inch spatulas on a cyntrifical square wave torque converter mounted on wood screws bought at home lowes. CK is tha man!! All donations should be sent immediately to his house. Don't ask why, just do it because he is AWESOME!!! Oh, and his name is really cool.

2 days ago
Mystery Sep 12, 2015

〓ROAD KILL〓 says:
I'm new and I'm trying to find a toaster for a friend who has a friend who knows this dude who went to Florida one time on a shrimp boat made out of glass fibers with this stuff called resin that holds the fibers together and he said he wants his microwave back. So I was wondering if you might have seen the pitch fork that I left at Billy's house. Timmy is pretty pissed off that I left it there. I'm really sorry to bother you with this kind of thing, but my toe really hurts because I dropped this really heavy frying pan that mr. Tom the carpenter gave me last week when we boiled 342.6 pounds of crawfish that we caught up in Alaska while we were ice fishing for polar bears. Man was that fun. You know that the damn driveshaft came loose from the carburator causing the kanibbler pin to shear off at the base of the automated seal club we were using to catch the shrimp we were using for bait while bass fishing in the Great Lakes. Man that was fun.

2 days ago
Mystery Sep 12, 2015

〓ROAD KILL〓 says:
I was waxing my swimming pool cover the other day when these 42-1/2 flying fish attacked me and tied me up for three weeks and seven 23 hour and 59 minute days feeding me only lizard spit and ant piss 60 times a month. Man that was rough. So after I chewed through the ropes the squirrels tied my hands behind my back with I was able to run for help 22 miles up the road, but when I got to the taco shack that had once been an ice house on the Peruvian border between Alabama and Mississippi that was relocated not too far from my swimming pool I realized that I left my secret decoder ring that I collected out of a box of peanut brittle I bought from a garage sale on a Tuesday afternoon in my pants pocket. Good thing I didn't need those fishhooks my friends brother frog gave me for some pickles I had grown from a seed that I bought off of batman last week. Man those pickles were awful I tell ya. Make ya want to chew your toenails.

2 days ago
Mystery Sep 12, 2015

〓ROAD KILL〓 says:
Billy said he wants his rubber band collection back by Friday. It was a rare collection of the finest beads ever worn by the second sister of the first quibbage champions oldest brother.

1 day ago
Mystery Sep 12, 2015

〓ROAD KILL〓 says:
What's your favorite color there sparky. Green bumps with a shade of pickle? Mine is jumping bean orange with a splash of prune juice mixed with a half cup of ginger purée cooked over chicken lips with concentrated 23 degree Celsius fire. I rub it on my hairy mole that is growing out of my left nostral. It makes the hair really really soft to the touch so it doesn't tickle when I pick my nose. Did you know that ants are considsred a type of rodent over in scorezbouroughsville Kentucky in the eastern hemisphere of the left quadrant of plutominus? True stuff there, I saw it on the lime when I was on the intranets.

1 day ago
Mystery Sep 12, 2015

〓ROAD KILL〓 says:
I once kicked a sour dough biscuit and broke a rib on a polkedoted rhino who was visiting from the Bronx zoo. True story

1 day ago
Mystery Sep 12, 2015

〓ROAD KILL〓 says:
WHY FOR THE LOVE OF ICE CREAM WON'T YOU ANSWER MEEEEEEEE😢😢😢

1 day ago
〓ＣＨＵＣＫＹ〓 Sep 12, 2015

This thread title sounds like a recipe for an Alabama delicacy.
Mystery Sep 12, 2015

Chucky Pancamo wrote:
This thread title sounds like a recipe for an Alabama delicacy.

Lmao!! 😂😂 I didn't notice that until you posted. Now every time I look at it I start giggling.
fun6754 Sep 12, 2015

Chucky Pancamo wrote:
This thread title sounds like a recipe for an Alabama delicacy.

*cookbook
LaTortuga Sep 12, 2015

Wow! Hallucinogenic drugs are so amazing in what they do to the human brain! My advice is DETOX!! 😜😜😳😳😳😳😳. But this is a fun read. 🐢
〓 CANDO 〓 Sep 12, 2015

When insanity, sarcasm and genius collide.
DAS HYENA™ Sep 12, 2015

My favorite:
〓ROAD KILL〓 says:
So, are you a sweet pickle or a Sour pickle? I told Ben grizzly you were a kosher pickle but he said that Jill told him you are a petit pickle..is this true?
U-571 Sep 12, 2015

Chucky Pancamo wrote:
This thread title sounds like a recipe for an Alabama delicacy.

this literally made me laugh so hard i am crying right now
Ꭱ3V Sep 12, 2015

Bad White wrote:
My favorite:
〓ROAD KILL〓 says:
So, are you a sweet pickle or a Sour pickle? I told Ben grizzly you were a kosher pickle but he said that Jill told him you are a petit pickle..is this true?

😂😂😂
〓 S E E K E R 〓 Sep 12, 2015

Mystery wrote:
Chucky Pancamo wrote:
This thread title sounds like a recipe for an Alabama delicacy.

Lmao!! 😂😂 I didn't notice that until you posted. Now every time I look at it I start giggling.
Lmfao now I do too.
pugshark Sep 13, 2015

Haha. Love it! Hilarious writing road kill!
Schmidty Sep 13, 2015

Messrine reincarnated!!!!!
Ѵɪɴᴎγ Sep 13, 2015

I'm in tears from the laughter... That's funny.
Ѵɪɴᴎγ Sep 13, 2015

〓ROAD KILL〓 says:
I like to fart in the tub and bite at the bubbles, do you? I do, do you? I do, do you? I do.

2 days ago
Seventeen 24💔 Sep 13, 2015

My donkey eats like a horse.
◾️〓 ℂ𝔼𝕆 〓◾️ Sep 13, 2015

Love it! 😂😂